Leaving Home - 6th Oct 2006

Transit @ Frankfurt airport

Waiting for connecting flight

Destination's Airport

View from my studio apartment's living room

谢谢！

朋友们， 谢谢你们的卡片和礼物。
现在这两样都是我的安慰。
因为一想到家人，就会泪流不止
所以没办法打电话回去。
很想你们，但又没有电脑和网络。
跟同事借用，但是要等他们用完先。
在这儿， 孤单和寂寞真的会让人发疯。

及使这样，我坚决相信孤单寂寞不属于我；
它们在我身命里并没有比任何人还要多，
只是在我们自己的眼里被放大了好几倍。

明天是我实习的第一天，
希望有工作做，日子会好过一点。

不要为我担心或难过，
要的话就为我祷告，
因为我相信天父的恩典。
如果可以的话，祷告后通知我，
告诉我内容，好让我高兴高兴一下下 ^_^


*我才发觉自己早已把朋友当成自己的家人，
我一定会争取每个回新的机会。。。
十一月，十二月，二月，四月。。。

第一天

今早醒来，开眼睛的那一秒
我吓了一跳；
“我在哪里？”

讨厌这个地方，
讨厌一个人住，
讨厌大家都把我们当怪物看，
讨厌没个人电脑，
讨厌！讨厌！讨厌！

讨厌这害怕的感觉，
讨厌这孤单的感觉，
讨厌想到家人朋友时，眼眶的泪水就会溢出来。
讨厌自己在埋怨，
讨厌一个人，
讨厌极了！！！

到现在，唯一的安慰是没后悔的感觉
我不知道为什莫，但我就是没有。
我一点也不喜欢这儿，
但我知道这八个月的实习时必须的，
无论是为了自己或工作，
是必要得。。。

八个月的家

终于到达目的地的机场，
该接我们的司机迟迟没出现。
等了大约一个钟头后，
我们决定自行搭计程车。
住处时海边的一栋公寓，
因为同事的关系，我选了十楼的莫单位，
房子里的窗户都面向海边和海港。

打开房门的刹那间，
我才发觉这里将会是我这八个月下来的家。
我愣了好一下。。。

难过

醒了，鼓起勇气打开你们送的卡片
眼泪不由自主地落下。。。
看着你们送的卡片和手表，
我的脸又湿了。。。
我已开始想念你们！


*平时的我都在想很多事，
但今天我只想哭。

Sorry, had to hurry...

请原谅我那莫仓促地进了departure hall,
因为我知道当你们俩落泪时， 我会心疼。。。
我会大哭。。。 一发不可收拾的大哭；
就像现在在飞机上一直掉泪

已经是新加坡上午11.30,
那份对你们的不舍依然在。。。
我想这份不舍会一直存在，
止我回到你们的身边为。


*我没有带着你们给的祝福离开，
而是抱着你们满满的祝福， 陪伴我一起开始新luu程。

我出发了。

我出发了。
心里的不舍和泪水都忍住了，
一切看似都在控制中。。。

飞机开始起飞了，
我的眼睛湿了；
在黑暗中，泪水在脸上画了好几行

我爱你们，选择的方式是不哭。。。不准哭


难过吗？ 难过！
后悔吗？ 不会。

猫咪出游记 （第二话）- 简说

猫咪原本就是个好奇的动物，
难道没听过好奇心能害死一只猫吗？

只要有机会，它一定会选择去环游外面的世界一下下。

虽然一开始是兴奋的，随后而来的是发愁。。。
发愁因为它自己想要的东西跟身边的家人朋友要得有所不同；
当面临这种冲突时，就更令人烦心。
选择想要的自己，会觉得自己很自私，对不起别人，更觉得令他们失望。
选择别人的建议，会觉得没有保握，有压力又无能为力的感觉。
更受不了的是别人的意见不一，各说个的。。。更烦恼！

在没时间的逼迫下，猫咪原本选择了放弃
但它受不起要一次又一次地做出放弃或接纳的选择；
因为它怎麽选都好像是错的。
最终，它决定狠下心，做出了希望自己不会后悔的决定。

它决定出游去。

Decision

Guess i did not have a chance to complete my last post on "decision making is a vexed process". Did try to pre-warn u all, but din have the heart nor the time to do so...

This is it ppl, my final decision and there's no turning back. With a heavy heart, i had drafted my reply to my boss, and the next few minutes it will be in my outbox, then to my sentbox.

==================================================
Dear SIR,

I understand that the implementation of bonding a staff after training is a measure to protect the interest of the company; ensuring the project with trained manpower to a smooth completion.

After much consideration, i regret to inform you that i stand by my decision in not going for the overseas training. The reasons behind the decision is mainly my concerns in the requirement of the 2 years bond and also family commitments. I also know that my decision in not going overseas is very abrupt and somewhat selfish. With this, i can only offer my deepest apologizes.

If it would be possible, may i request to continue work on Prj XXX; Or at least till early next year when the new engineers are security cleared and able to take over the project.

If not, attached would be my resignation letter which states that the 13th Oct 2006 as my last day with XXXXXX.

Lastly, thank you for the opportunity to come onboard XXXXXX, and for all the care & kindness shown to me.

My apologies once again.

best regards,
June Lim.

For u to GET HIGH 2!!!

May this be OUR song...


Album: 飞行部落
Song: GET HIGH
歌词 :

也许明天不知该往哪里去
也许不再有如此美的风景
但是总会有一段旋律在我心里
反覆唱著浪漫美丽

(男)有一个梦在遥远深海 (女)在遥远深海
(男)幸福的路陪你去等待 (女)美丽的等待
(女)总会有一天 你一定明白
(合)我的爱 为你在

让我们Get High 用双手把天撑开
Oh……Get High 要所有人都明白
泪水都不应该 因为我有你的爱
baby you are always on my mind

曾经害怕不知该往哪里去
曾经和寂寞相处已有默契
但是总会有一道阳光在我心底
给我力量 坚持到底

GET HIGH!

Founds these photos while digging for other photos...

They were taken last year...

dun think i blogged out the pics b4.

Pls. note, these photos were taken,

after most of the ppl had consumed alochol.....

(This is a bad example, look but dun follow k)

"Peek-a-boo" Alarm went off!!!

Press the orange button to snooze.
*GRIN*

.

WE ARE HIGH!!!

WE ALL ARE!!!

Thanks to you know who you are......

Thank you...

For every tot, every word spoken thru your lips or in your hearts

For the time to stop and think,

For the time to be concern for me.

For the internal injuries you ppl have suffered while talking to me, while trying to convince me.

For stretching out yr hands to help me, regardless of wat you are feeling or going thru...

Most of all... For knowing that i am not perfect.

Ps. 没相通的事只是暂时没能相通。。。只是暂时的。。。

Man and woman, NOT man vs woman!

Mark 10:6-9

"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Some Personality Analysis

There's a personality email circulating ard the emailing realm for quite some time,
rumor has it tat Ophray only scored 38...
My frens scored an average of 40+...

And me? I scored 57... here's the score interpration...


Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, one who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.


(Hmm... u ppl see me like tat?)

空

突然觉得自己的脑里和心里竟是一片空白，
我已没有什麽可以给以家人于朋友。
应该是自己没什麽长进，
没有upgrade自己，
搞到现在整个人也空了。

Beware of thieves

Today, you are the temple of God. (1 Corinthians 3:16)
And your temple should be a “house of prayer” or it becomes a “den of thieves”.
These thieves, or powers of darkness, will steal and rob from your temple, which is your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19)
They will steal and rob you of your strength, health, youthfulness, wisdom, hopes and dreams.

So make your temple a house of prayer by praying in the Spirit frequently. (Ephesians 6:18)
When you pray in the Spirit, you are praying perfect prayers.
This is because the Spirit Himself makes intercession for you when He prays through you in tongues. (Romans 8:26)

Going Crazy

I'm stressed...
breaking down like tat is not me.

i find no words to tell of it,
i noe not who to tell to.
i dun even noe wat to tell,
how to cry for help?

Help! I need help.
I dunno wat type of help i need,
i just desperately need help!

ABBA,
i can only tell u,
and only u can help me.

Nothing seems to be working,
i am going crazy...

HA!!! Heritage Hunt...

Just as a froggie's blog wrote, i too went along to a hunt... a mini version of amzaing race, but mostly on foot. Now i know why the tee print says "xxxxxxx... on foot" Cos we practically covered lavender area and all the way to Boon Keng, then Kallang. We also continued the foot journey from Balestiar to Whampoa and a temple near Quality Hotel, and back to "Wan Qin Yuan" & a Burmaese Buddist Temple...

It was a foot work journey of 5 plus hrs, THANK GOD for the bus trip tat they allowed us to take from Serangoon to Balestiar. Maybe i walked too much, my left knee hurt so much tat when i got home, i could barely walked. Thank God for his healing touch that all pain was gone when i woke up for church tis morning...


===============================
To the team of Some Hunting Experts (aka S.H.E) :

Well done ppl, for persevering on in completing the whole event. The thing i am proud of is that we had completed it in intergrity. Dunno wat u all think, but intergrity is impt to me and in this we have won ourselves... Winning is no big deal, winning yourself is the challenge!

Apologies if i din looked too enthu, its jus i dunno how to behave in such events... kinda lost when i saw so many KIDS...

Thanks for pulling me, though last min, but i enjoyed it.
(Gotta see how u gals worked, and how u all react... interesting...)
And also for the "interesting" team name... ho ho ho

Let God Love You Instead

1 John 4:10
10In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
-----------------------------------------------------

You have probably heard that before and maybe even tried your best to love God, only to fail miserably.

But what is the true definition of love?

Let the Bible define it for us:
“… this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us…”

Yes, it is not about our love for Him, but His love for us!

“Pastor Prince, the Bible says that you must love God with all your heart, soul and strength!”

Yes, that is true according to the law (Deuteronomy 6:5), and even Jesus taught that as the great commandment when He walked on earth. (Matthew 22:37) But that was before He died on the cross. At the cross, He became the very fulfilment of this law for us when He loved us with all His heart, soul and strength — He laid down His body and life on the cross for us.

Today, we are no longer under the law but under grace. And grace tells us that God loves us, not that we love God. That is why, after the cross, the great commandment was never quoted to remind us to love God because we will love Him when we see how much He loves us — while we were still sinners, Christ died for us! (Romans 5:8)

Beloved, God has seen you trying your best to love Him. And because He loves you, He wants you to sit down and be still, and let Him love you instead. He wants to love you with all that He is and all that He has. He loves you unconditionally regardless of who you are or what you have done because His love is not dependent on you but Him. He will never stop loving you.

So let God love you today. Don’t worry about loving Him. The more of His love you receive, the more you will fall in love with Him!

SMS 的 高視闊步者

Ho Ho Ho...

My topic chim ley,
actually got it from the online translation for the word STALKER!


病了好几天不是最倒霉的事，
撞车也不是最倒霉的事，
最倒霉的是被一个神经病烦。。。

上次是我的错，
因为太久没跟朋友联络，
她换了电话号码我也不知道；
结果，一个陌生人接了电话。
他就是stalker #1 via电话，
他每个月都会打来说要交个朋友，
每一次都换了新号码才打， 害我快疯了。
一直到去年， 有个男性朋友无意中接了他打来的电话，
我才脱离苦海。

这次的更槽；
看名字应该是个印度人，
他误以为我是他的印尼级网友。。。
每天， 照三餐地猛传简讯给我；
内容真的有够让我吐血，
我快要发疯了。。。



（本来不想用华语来写的，以防万一还是用印度看不懂的华语来抱怨比较安全）

Accident in Comfort

Yar... on leave again...

thats why i come blog now mah...

v bored leh...

Accident means accident lah,

still got wat type of accident?!!

Bring u go english tution ah...

Accident means unintentional,

understand anot?

No... No... No... not i car accident,

but sort of involve in accident...

Aiya, wait!

Its the Comfortcab i was in yesterday tat got into a "lang-ga"

yarrr..... now u understand rite...

I where got so reckless to drive into accident wan,

just abit slow in parking at times k....

As usual lah, u all know i wat club i am in rite,

so i take cab in morning to go work not, surprising mah...

some more yesterday morning suppose to go shipyard k...

ALL THE WAY TO BENOI!!! (Really dun like tat place... eeks!)

Anyway, i also din see wat happen,

all i knew was when i look up & i tot 2 myself,

" why uncle no brake yet, so near liaoz..."

Next thing i know, we hit the car infront.

The seat belt worked, but it hurts as well lor...

In short, no big deal,

jus plenty of blue blacks and abit of cuts on the neck,

but plenty of aches from the impact.

Best part is when i got out of the cab after the collision,

the car driver in front came over and said

"Not my fault hor, its the car in front jammed brake...."

Then the 1st car driver also came over, he looked and laughed.

I almost faint when i heard him say to the car owner whom my cab hit... "Aiya not serious lah, yr car still can move rite..."

The cab i was in wack into a LEXUS lor,

the Lexus is ok lah, like abit of scratch or slight dent.

But the cab i was in, was in a sad state.

The front was quite badly dented.

Lexus vs toyota = pathetic.

The poor cab uncle, the word shock was written all over in his face in caps and in bold. Someone told me that, this cab uncle will lose his 2K deposit on the cab, plus have to pay for car repairs, and no work for the next few days... was kinda sad for him when i heard all these.

Then there were those bothersome things to be done,

like seeing a doc...

getting a check up,

liasing with the cab company,

and the cab insurance company, t

hen police report...

wow liew... so ma fan man....

But something funny did come up.

Comfort called and expressed their apologies,

and next thing i knew they are sending me a flower basket...

In my mind i was like, " WOW LAU, i have die yet lor...

send wat flower basket...

CHOY CHOY CHOY!!!"

Only my fren say, "WOW! So sweet of them!"

*faint* -.-"

P.s. Anyway, dun think we will receive the flower basket, cos no one will be home to accept it... by the time they come, my hse empty of... everyone out le... INCLUDING ME!!!

GRIN

Work

Hmm... din think that i would be tat disappointed when it comes to my job. In fact, it was on friday that i got alot of positive feedback from my project manager. I believed what she had told me, i see no reason why she was not being honest. I was very encouraged to learnt that she really tot well of me and that i was the candidate for many other projects that she is paving for me to be a part of. I was also alittle taken aback on how much trust she had in me. Though i suspect that it was jus some prep talk, but I was still overwhelm. Most of all, i was grateful. Cos i know such compliments came abt becos of Jesus. Jesus is my covering, all that i did wrong and did bad were covered by him, by his grace.

Today, was a real shock for me; It was no surprise that promotion letters were flying abt , neither was it surprisingly that the wage adjustment is kicking in. The shocker was not that i am not aware that the letters were out, but that someone had gotten a promotion to a managerial grade. Someone whose reputation had been so terrible that frowns or fear were shown when the name has been mentioned. I was really disappointed that i havent heard anything from my mgmt yet. Its an open secret that I am currently underpaid, and i thank GOD that he sustains me financially that i can still be extravagant in my spending.

But my ego/moral/watever is bruised, when i heard tat individual was promoted and i have yet to heard any good news. I took it as the company had felt i was not even worthily on par with tat individual. I told my good fren that i am really feeling "unbalanced"......

Now that i have cooled off, i guess i shldnt be tat dismay after all. With the pay i had been getting for the last 6 yrs, had i any prob? To be frank, whenever i was in need, God provided me with the help i need. I dun need the mgmt to tell me my worth, Jesus sees my worth... and so long Jesus thinks the world of me, i dun have to worry abt any other thing.

I belong to Jesus, and he will take care of me.

PITSTOP @ Boat Quay

The accused!

Names not in sync with the pic

(We did try to name the suspects... )

Art Work Contestant #1 Submission

Art Work Contestant #2 Submission

Art Work Contestant #3 Submission

自己的幸福

受伤当作是成长 顶多痛快哭一场
今天你该学会坚强 明天不再遗憾
爱的那麽苦 为何不结束

你总刻意为爱假装幸福
真心都给了 你得到了什麽
你该承认爱不能够勉强

常常爱让人哭一场
又轻易给了自己希望
擅作主张 放肆了勉强
以为自己的心等与对方

你该试着让爱别这样
也多为自己想想
试着别在乎他是否付出
给爱少一点辛苦
给自己多一点幸福

- J Heart.

这次真的生病了。。。

平常看医生也就为了那张病假单，
拿了药也只是摆在家里的桌上。。。

这次真的不好玩。。。
平常都不会笑的女医生， 竟然对我笑了。。。
而我也真的 “SIAO”了

不知道是因为我发烧才昏昏沉沉
还是因为她对我笑，而我被吓到。。。
所以她跟我说的每一句话，
我一句也没听到。。。
我只看到她的嘴巴在动，
没听到任何东西。。。
她好像有说什麽回头来找她，
然后什麽再给我多几天的病假

好像就是这样吧。。。

平常要她给我开给病假单，是多莫的难
现在一给就给了我两天，
还说不够可以回头再跟她要。。。

可见我真的病了。。。

Fishy...

Here fishy fishy...

Cute rite??? Its name is Snapfish...

Someone share her album with me to see pics,

but i like this icon the best...

Cos its a CUTE FISHY!!!!!

The Power Of Your Words

Proverbs 18:21
21Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

========================

Most people, when they desperately want something, will say things like, “I am dying for that piece of cake!” Few will say, “I am living for that piece of cake!”
What is worse is that we are quick to mention death when things go wrong. We Singaporeans are quick to say things like, “Die lah! Die lah!” at the drop of a hat. Nobody says, “Live lah! Live lah!”
Yet, the truth is that every word you speak has power — to build or destroy hopes and dreams, to restore or cause loss, to heal or break the spirit, to bring delight or despair, to bless or curse — for God’s Word says that death and life are in the power of your tongue.
So stop lining up your words with the negative circumstances around you. Instead, start lining up your words with God’s Word and release the power of His Word to work for you.
For example, instead of speaking lack and poverty, say, “God’s Word tells me that the good things are already here. I therefore pronounce my life blessed. I pronounce my life prosperous. I pronounce my life great. Darkness and gloom, poverty and sickness, defeat and depression, will not be in my life!”
Instead of speaking sickness and death, say, “I will live long. I will not die young because Jesus died young for me so that I can live long for Him. I am the righteousness of God in Christ and God’s Word declares that no evil befalls the righteous. So no evil will come on me now and in the future!”
Instead of speaking fear over your children, say, “God’s Word declares that the seed of the righteous shall be delivered. Therefore, my children are delivered from every curse, from every power of darkness, from every evil. In the name of Jesus, I call forth a great, bright and blessed future for my children!”
God wants you to have a life filled with good days and an abundance of every good thing. So say, “In the name of Jesus, I prophesy blessings, favour, health, prosperity, protection, dominion and power to fill my life and my family’s!”

To: The one whom i nag alot upon

Hi...

think when u come back u will drop by here for a glance, so i am writing this to you... (Yeah, recently have a few messages for ppl, so temporarily here become a bulletin board... hee)

A couple more days and u'll be back, and i am DETERMINED to go fetch you. I suppose you'll have your spoils after conquering the land that u are returning from;

Hope you will accept my chauffeuring services, which is my apologies for not making to the airport on time at the day of your departure.

So, at this very moment, i am still guessing your arriving flight... A series of plan A and B and C is being plot in this very minute. Nah... dun worry, we are not abducting you nor selling you off... Maybe jus cooking you for supper.... MEOWWWWW~~~~~ :P~

See you on friday oki... *wave*

P.s. Hmm... i still wondering if i shld "show-off" my new jacket to you... GRIN... But if weather too hot then i must be crazy to wear it out???

TO: The 2006 World Cup Fanatic

有东西要跟你说，
可是先说好不可以打我。。。
^_^

你手上的那件德国球衣是送你的，
你就是我的那个要送的朋友。。。
难道你不是我的朋友吗？
^_^

我不是无缘无故送你球衣啦。。。
是有原因的，
改天才跟你讲。。。
所以就别买那难看的外套了，
收下那份礼物 OK?
^_^

God Says...

Things do come around

Although the world is really round, and even if you walk straight back to back with another, so long u persever... u will see the person face to face again...
(Caution: This is a VERY VERY VERY LONG process. DO NOT attempt unless inevitable. ^_^)

Some years back, i had a bad time with a fren... I had no idea why we were shouting at each other, but i do rem that it was i tat was having a bad time... And my tone was really not acceptable, ok... i was in a rage... Anyway, after exchange of heated words in conversation and in sms, we cease to contact. for a period of time the mention of his name will bring fumes to my head.

(Here's abit of history)
To be really frank, he was a nice fellow... know him for quite some time and he managed to swallow all my tantrums and temper... as a fren, think he was the most cham one... cos never of any of my frens ever get tat type of nonsense from me... hahaha... dunno to say he lucky or he unlucky... Usually, after some unhappiness, we will cease to contact and wait for a few more mths he will come and call u again... Like nothing hap, at least he din mention it any more. I never really felt bad abt losing him tis fren, jus felt gulity for treating him "like dirt". Actually, he does irriates me ALOT, yar lah... he din mean it lah.... But i really cannot keep my temper when we hang out. So, i decided its best not to have him as too close a fren, lest he gets "bullied" by me again... So, after tat really big outright exchanges of shouts... i really think tats for the best bah...


Anyway, i got a sms from him today... wow liew... i got a shock man... havent wake up yet some more, but see liao i wake up le...被吓醒了... 见鬼 lor... Think he really bears no grudges and forget wat hap le... again? i dunno leh... i scare lor... cos i feeling guility.... Eeks.... help...

Ps. He really poor thing to have someone like me as a fren...

Refuge

Just back from a series of surface vessal-ing activities...
hehehehe... jus came back from a 2D 1N Bintan GETAWAY!
Yup its a getaway, a means to seek refuge...
Yar, seek refuge usually become a ROBERTO... CARROT HEAD lor...
But bo bian lor... one's gotta eat...
Good news is...

we now noe where got places which wont make us feel like food for vegetarians...

Mac's vs World Cup 2006

Hmm, din plan on the last post, but anyway i posted.. so next...

Ok, everyone is blogging abt WORLD CUP 2006... They are talking abt it, betting abt it, and definitely arguing abt it as well...

Well, you know me, i like to be part of the party... Yup, u got me there... yes... they saying goes: "If you cant beat them, you JOIN them!"

17th June 2006, Saturday... So i was bored, din know wat to do on a sat evening... wanted to find food and ended up in Mac... Becos they got AIRCON!!! One's got to stay cool u noe... So i stepped in and there it is... the usual Mac... then i turned and saw the big TV with a sign saying they show live matches from World Cup 2006. Oh goody, i'm going to have company.

It really wasnt tat bad watching the match at Macs, it was COLD and the place was jam packed... ppl who din noe each other began to converse with one another... Coincidently, everyone was supporting PORTUGAL and everyone parted happy when PORTUGAL WON!
Too bad no camera, else it would be good to show u ppl the crowd there.

Anyway, a word of caution for ppl who plans to go Mac 2 watch the matches... BRING $$$ and Jacket... And try to go early, like abt 20mins b4 the game starts... Cos everyone starts coming in @ 10mins b4 kickoff... Ppl are nice and they be happy to share table with u. Likewise, if u have a table all by yrself, do share out the seats if u are not using... Be nice k...

System in process...

i guess everyone knows how it feels when u have something boiling in you and yet u can put words to describe it; be it a feeling, some revelation or even pain. From the last 2 posts, i think u all know wat i am talking abt... Yar, i'm actually quite disappointed on not being able to blog abt it yet. Still dunno how to phrase the thing... Nevertheless, no point brooding and muddling over the issue now.

I still havent been able to pen it down in words, prior to that... alot of things came along side too. SO for the time being, i think i am going to set it aside for awhile until it comes to me in descriptive forms of words.

Alot of informations has been flooding to me, they came along with questions too... My mum is right... she once said, "trouble doesnt come alone... They come in 3s... "

sounds scary huh... imagine the panic for me when they came rite into my face. They are not millimeters away from my face, but IN my face.

Well, today is not the day to talk abt it...

But if you must know, the issues are under processing;

With God, everything is in GOOD PROGRESS. ^_^


PS: Almost had a fatal car accident last nite, was quite shaken from the whole ordeal... No idea why the car accelerator behaved that way, but THANKS BE TO GOD that somehow the car brakes came into action. Strange to note that, this was the same car which i was driving in my last accident, my first and only accident since obtaining a driver's license. That time brakes din work, THANK GOD they worked this time.

Struggling ...

It was not my original intention that the previous post be put up... Cos it doesnt really have good memories... But i guess it will be a good prelude for the story that i want to write. Yup, i know... i scare myself sometimes...

I had a glimpse of a revelation, at least thats wat i think... I really wanted to write it down, and share with you. But seems like i have been distracted from penning it down. The concept of it keeps going round my head, but i am jus unable to find the words for it at the moment...

Love . ? !

爱是个奇特的情感，
你看不着，也摸不着它
感觉时有时无，
总会让人不知所措。。。

-------------------------

To my Love

I love to whisper into yr ears,
telling u what I love abt u;
Abt the way u walk,
the way u talk,
the way u sleep,
and the way u snore.
Most of all is the sincerity when u say those magical words to me.

Joy floods my soul,
and my entire world;
Never would I tot this day be true,
All so true...

Be it a dream,
there shall be no regrets
for I do not,
and had never allow it
to be near me.

I love u, and that is the honest truth,
nothing matters more than how we feel.
I love u and I want the world to know,
I love u, dun care even if u dun,
I love u, just wan u to know,
I really do love u,
With all my heart n soul,
I really do...

Dated : 27th August 2000.

The MONTH of CELEBRATION!

The jelyfishy is celebrating her birth month!!! The thing abt jelyfishies is that they get to celebrate they birthday in month long celebrations unlike the humans or another animals ard... Heehee... Maybe Meows too...

Its already the 6th day into the month, i figured if i dun come in and blog abt it i will forget abt it again. Appreciate has to be shown to the frens of the Jelyfishy, cos they really touched me... touch me deeply... in my glass fragile heart... Its been a WOW WAH WOW time from the 1st of June till now... from the dinner cum supper cum after meal drinks all the way until now. Cos the pressies received also make me WOW WAH WOW lor... so WOW WAH WOW till i keep taking it out not only to admire, but to show off to ppl... hee...

Serious lar... really wow until i also dunno wat to do and jus stare at then WOW WOW WAH lor...
Dun believe ah? Ok lor... i show u one of the pressies i received, the one that i kept showing off to ppl... GRIN

Very WOW WAH WOW rite? Those who know me will noe how wow i felt... i hope. And if you know the effort that my fren gone to get these done for me i think u with a stone of heart will also be touched.

* Proud owner signing off*

Ps. Fren, Thanks a zillion! Realyl very touched by the pressie, and most of all the trouble and effort you have gone in getting it together for me. Thank you. ^_^

Is Anything Too Hard For God?

Jeremiah 32:27
“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you have a problem believing that the moment a sinner receives Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour, he is saved? I believe you will say, “No.”

Let me then ask you which is harder for God (though in reality, we know that nothing is hard for God): To save a soul from hell or heal a sick body? Of course, it is “harder” to save a soul from hell because God had to send His Son to the cross.

So if God has already given you the greatest miracle that you can ever receive, which is to pluck you out of the clutches of eternal damnation and give you eternal life, what is healing your body, saving your marriage, turning around your rebellious teenage son or giving you that business deal, to Him?

Therefore, don’t think that when you come to God with a headache, He says, “No problem,” but should you come to Him with cancer, He says, “Cancer? Wow! Not that easy. This is more problematic. I will need more power!”

No! It may appear more difficult to us, but with God, nothing is too hard for Him because He says, “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?”
This was indeed the case for a church member who was suffering from ovarian cancer. After I had prayed for her, I told her, “This cancer is not a problem for God. Just believe that when God said that nothing is too hard for Him, it is so!” In a matter of weeks, she came back with tears in her eyes, testifying that she went back to the doctor and he pronounced her healed after he could find no more traces of cancer in her.

Beloved, if it is a miracle you need, it is a miracle you will get. God has already given you the greatest miracle of eternal life, so why would He not give you all the other lesser miracles?

Looking back at buying time...

In the era where homepage making was a craze, i too dived into the trend. Going thru the homepage which i torn down, the remains reminded me that once upon i had a blog before this blogging thing came into fashion. In the last "renovations", i removed most of the poems and stories i had written, and these were my unspoken tots and emotions. And the reault for removing them were becos too many ppl i know were hitting the page like 3 meals a day... How can i let so many ppl noe wat i was feeling or thining or going thru each day ley?

Oki, out of point again... Anyway, the following is the article which i extracted to share with u ppl.
Enjoy.

---------- Buying Time ----------

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door.

"Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the man.
"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"
"That's none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.
"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."
"Oh," the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"

The father was furious.

"If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish games."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money. After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep son?" he asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man.
"It's been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's that $10.00 you asked for.
" The little boy sat straight up, beaming.
"Oh, thank you daddy!" he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills.The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.

"Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.
"Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"

...................................................


Too many a time have we forgotten wat we already, we forgotten abt each other. Busy parents ( whom we'll be someday ) often remember only the material needs of a child, giving them whatever what they did not have as a child, but neglecting their emotional needs. Do u spend time with your family? Do u spend time with your child / children, your oen parents? What good is it to have everything but yet without anyone to share it with???

Your parents made you what u are today, how could u exist if not for them??? Your children are your responsiblity, u shape their future ......... No one promised u that life was going to be easy??? Life is never a bed of roses, even if it is, thorns are included too. Take heart, cos you are not alone...............

Ok

疯， 也该疯够了。。。

是时候做回正常人了。。。

应该做回应该做的事了。。。

HOPE... The confident expectation of GOOD!

Time is really something we dun have, nor can we influence, let alone having control over it... We all know there is no price that we can buy it, cos it cannot be bought. Time is and never on anyone's side, neither yours not mine... Its merely an element, a tool that exist in our lives... good or bad will be dependant on how u view and uses it.

Few days back, i caught 2 movies >>> (Da Vinc Code & Poseidon) Interesting shows which gave me quite abit of thoughts... Especially Poseidon... And i was going to unload everything i had that came to mind to tis blog, but i really had problem penning it down. It really felt like i was conducting a post-mort on an intimate msg from a loved one, opening it up and trying to explain to ppl why and wat it mean and was trying to say. It jus dun feel rite bah...

Anyway, in short, the show jus showed me that time was running out and there are things waiting for me to get into. Though time was running out, time is still needed for me to to learn... Many things will come my way, legitimate or not they will come and they will be obstructions at some point of time. Like complancy, greed, fear, dependance on self knowledge for survival; These may kill me if i dwell on them......

I was thinking to myself, if i were every one of those ppl onboard the ship, would i ask for death, or stay put with the ship's captain or i would follow and venture out with Dylan? i have no answer for that, cos i really dare not think. But there is one thing i do agree, and that is :


With HOPE

ordinary ppl can also have extraordinary courage

to do extraordinary things,

things that to overcome the impossible...

Colossians 1:27 (New King James Version)

To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

1 Peter 1:3
Praise to God for a Living Hope

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

哎呀 ~ ~

凌晨四点多。。。我能写什麽？
就冲着你说我没有东西写而来写。。。
但现在想想，好像有点小孩子气
哎呀 ~ 我不管啦 。。。都起来了啦。。。

--------------------

Oki, my chinese is really limited, and i cant really think at this time of the day after all the medications... So... i switching to channel 5 now. ^_^ Like tat i can write and understand better at wat i am writing to myself...

Hmm... I did learnt quite a few things this week, but i not sure if i rem it all. But the impt thing is that i realized that the Holy Spirit is with me and teaching me all the time, and i do not haf to worry if i rem each and every single lesson. Yup, you read correctly, i typed the word "WORRY". For those who noticed, i loved to carry an notebook with me... In the notebook i wrote everything, from my journals/diaries to sketches/drawings to my QT notes and sermons and everything... For one thing, i do love to write down all these things, becos i know i will forget... And u all know how easily i can forget something... Ya lor... Din know it can be a worry also... Not good lor...

Overly concern = worry...
Too much worrying will turn to unrest / depressed...
Then think too much will lead to tension or prolong tension (in other words, Stress)

It so easy to get depressed, and there are so many ppl affected by it... You dun need me to tell you how bad are the consequences... So, lighten up... breathe... The sky is not going to fall!

Meow~~~

This is my fav cat pic...

This meowing thing is in such peaceful state of rest.

You gotta to love her!

^_^

Ps. Got this pic from dunno where, not i take wan lah.

But its really lovable!!!

Note to owner: Borrow yr pic tp show show k... 10Q!

My BELOVED School

Gotta thank my fren for telling me that she has been posted to TNS... Post there for wat ah??? To TEACH lor... unbelieveable rite?!!! THat's my school lor!!! The school where i spent 6 years, the school where i had stayed the longest in my acedemic life. MY BELOVED SCHOOL!

Wow next best thing is she tell me TNS got webby lor!!! So i woke up today, chiong to repair and setup my lappy. Hahaha... The webby so nice... got the old sch building pic in the flash... (Most of the ex TNS-ians dun like the current setup of the school... COS they ate up the NICE BIG FIELD by building new buildings for expansions. Sigh...) Then again, everything that gotta do with TNS is NICE LOR!!! Dun play play hor... i still rem the sch song k... Dunno other schs also like tat, but last time all our exercise books behind got the sch song in scores and lyrics lor... wanna forget also hard bah...

So i went to see the site, page by page, line by line...

Got school history, its as short as wat we remembered... Tot they would have more info though... but ok... short and sweet and simple...

Got school crest info... got a very strong sense of patriotic feel!

The school motto the best - Sincerity and Perseverance
Dunno is i din know or i forgotten, but now i see liao... sounds power lor... See what they write:




I have never really took much tot in the two words - Sincerity & Perseverance, to me its just being true to your heart and hang on while the tough is going... But today, something really struck me.

Perseverance - Continuance in a state of grace until it is succeeded by a state of glory.

Pretty COOL rite?!!

Then there was the Mission & Vision and the CORE Values... The CORE Values page was another interesting thingie where i think i can pat the school on the wall and say," School... i think you've done a great job, i can see those values in me. ^_^" kekekekeke (Not funny arh? Nvm, i think its funny can liaoz... hehehehe) And on this same page, has a quote which i really dig it!

In Tao Nan, every pupil and staff member makes a difference...

Quick Blog...One Testi

WuhOooOoOoOoOoO~!~!~!

They say my mum can go vote!!!
She so excited!!!
I so... so... so... i also dunno...
i happy, i also panic cos no car...
Heck, dun care le...

Wuhoo!!!!!
She super happy!!!
Like a kid on probation, she gotta be back by 1800hrs...
Dun care... Anyway, she really very very happy...
Cos can go out, my dad come back... DOUBLE GOOD THING!!!

Thank you GOD!
Thank you Jesus!!
Thank you Holy Spirit!!!

I love ya all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAIT! DUN PANIC!!!

WHY SO PINK?!!!
AHHH!!!! WHY LIKE TAT!!!

WAIT! DUN PANIC!!!
Cos i am panicing.....
I have no idea wat i have done!

OMG... this is not permenent!!!
I will find someway 2 fix this...
I promise!!!

Labour Day

Wat do you call the day after Labour day?
Ans ... The beginning of a new labouring day!

After slacking from dunno when,
till my trip to taiwan,
till i came back to SG,
till i fell ill and gotten MCs,
till now...

I am completely in no mood for work,
especially when everything is a BIG MESS now.
There will be lotsa wall banging with me head,
and the usual servings of 4 kopi O, 1 kopi O gosong, and plenty of teh si ice will soon hit me like a tsunami wave.

Talking abt it now is something u wont wanna be part of,
but once u are in it
and the momentum is picked up
i think i will love it... so long my heart is there...
I hope me heart is there...

^_^

GrandMa... Happy Birthday!~

Happy birthday GrandMa,
I'm sorry that i wasnt ard last year to celebrate your birthday.
But i am glad i was with you today.

You've aged...
I cant help but think where i had been in the last 2 years.
Pls. forgive me.

I love you.

~ ~ ~ 脑 筋 阻 塞 ~ ~ ~

刚不是跟你们说了我从台北度假回来，

就是因为刚从那回来所以这篇要用华语啊！！！

回来后，我就病。。。

正确的说法应该是我在抵达台北市的第二天就已经不舒服了。

病因嘛。。。因该是自己给自己的压力太大吧。。。

为了要大家玩的愉快，又玩得彻底

我时时刻刻都在想我们有没有落掉什麽地方，

有没有更好的路线可走，可玩，

可以更好的运用我们的时间。

就因为两个朋友成天都把随便挂在嘴边，

我才更头大，更头痛。。。

再加上台北天气不佳，几乎每天下雨。。。

可能就因为这样才感冒的吧

就因为病了，回来的这几天

都是胡言乱语，废话连篇 （应该是鬼话连篇）

因心情不好，就扬言几天内本人会提出辞呈

一直以来我的工资真的没有很多。。。

那末久以来我一直以为是我做的不够，不够多，不够优。。。

六年了，现在的我真的不只有点恢心，根本就已经快死心。。。

只要稍微神智不清，或心情低落，辞呈就会是个解救我的假象。

可是，清醒后的我又会有另一种想法;

辞呈会不会是逃避的方法之一呢？

为了回答这个问题我总选哲了留下，

我要证明我是值得被重视的，

我要证明到他们无法否认得地步！

所以，朋友们。。

你们要为我祷告，为我加油打气，

看到我泄气就来鼓励我一下。。。

因为我无法自己一个人做到。

Back from taipei

Just came back from Taipei, and i'm a sick fish now... The weather been pretty bad, showers of rain with thunder were coming down on us frequently.

There isnt much to talk abt the trip though, just that i did visit the some of the places that i shld have been to but had not on the last round. Like on the first nite, we went to a club which was in a sphere-like building structure. The music was quite good, but we did have some prob explaining to the guys at the bar counter on wat we wanted. And we did see 1 tall, cute and not bad built guy.

On the next day, we went as planned... Danshui. The place was quite fun, there were those funfair games... those that has plenty of balloons and would require u to use darts or gun pellets to burst them. There were also plenty of dogs around... SO CUTE!!! I really dun mind going there again, cos we did not manage to finish going round the whole place. Some of us grew tired of walking and they decided to take the ferry to YuRenMaTou(The wharf tat plays tricks on ppl???). It was a pity that the weather was too misty and we cant see anything much, until nitefall came and the lights were lit. The bridge lit up in diff colors as the sky grew darker/time grew later. The land opp us, lit up as each home turn on their lights. I can imagine how it would be we were able to see the sunset... shld be awwwwwwwww~~~

This time i did get to go look at CKS Memorial Hall, we din go in cos the tupid tour guide bluffed us. The results were 3 pictures taken outside of the buildings and then it was us scurrying onto the tour bus. I was sorely didsppointed.
The next place was the Marty's Shrine, din seen anything but the hourly change of guards, were the air force was responsible for this time's round. Men in uniform really does wonders sometimes. ^_^ The of guards had alot of gestures, i guess most of it were catered for the tourist. But there was this part where the guards were stamping their feet before standing on the guard stand which i found it to be quite interesting. It seems like it designed for them to ensure that they were surveying where and how they shld be standing. And ensuring that the stand was sturdy enuff for them to hop on. Interesting...
The last of the stop we went was the National Palacce Museum, interestingly the guide told us that all the item kept were the best of the entire emperor possessions. They were chosen and removed from Beijing. And that those in Beijing were far more inferior to the items displayed here. Interesting huh... sort of aroused my interest in seeing Beijing's collection.
We barely seen anything and were chased off by the guide and he wanted to bring us to MaoJiaZhuang, with my prior experience, its definitely not a place i want to go tis time. We made excuses to leave the group. Now, it was the guide's turn to be sourly upset. (1:1 - now we are even!) The rest of the day wasnt much to talk abt, it was a ferris wheeling event and a short shopping bizazre... BUT at the end of it all, i did get to go to my fav book place! LOVELY PLACE!

Let's see... the 4th day was really nothing to talk abt until i get to meet up with a fren. You cannot imagine the relieve i felt at the sight of her. Of cos, i went to meet her without my other 2 travelling companions. It was the most relaxing moment! She brought a fren, and she is very friendly... v funny too. Then it was food, food , food... Of all the places i been in the last few days, i gotta say that the cafe on YangMingShan (草山夜未眠) was awesome!!! The view was great!!@!! And we were really very blessed to see fireworks, with compliments from a young rich kid was who celebrating his girlfren's birthday. It was GREAT!

The 5th day... The day to head for home... I finally told my fren to go ahead with their shopping, so that i can pack all the foodstuffs in the 2 cardboxs. I had to make 2 boxes with the bits and pieces of cardboxs from the convenient stores, the rain had dis-inter-graded the good boxes. With God's help, the two boxes were finally done and secured. And i took the remaining to shop at the my fav bookstore branch near our hotel, and helpless bought more books. Tried the mister donuts, not too bad, they sort of have a chewy texture though. If u ever try, try the original lion mane look-alike donut... Thats the best choice.

Conclusion:
The best thing i like abt the trip is seeing my sister's excitement at the box i brought home. Unlike my frens, i dun do much shopping, i usually would buy the local foodstuff back for family and frens. Seeing my sister's excitement was my greatest joy, she loved every single thing i brought back. This is the best reason why i went to taipei for holiday.

Haunting issues

Have you ever had the experience when u shrugged something off and it comes back every now and then to haunt you? Well, the key to the whole annoying issue is to resolve it once and for all. Now that's and answer all so simple and totally common sense, but why am i not able to do it?

It so frustrating to see and hear the whole problem over and over again.
The thing is ... i am not sure if wat i am jus ignoring the issue and hoping it goes away or am i jus not patience enuff to stay and wait for everything else to unfold and take place?

You tell me?

Pure

This is my brand new day starting now
I let go the things that weigh me down
And rob me of the beauty that’s to be found in life all around

And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above my burden is easing

CHORUS
I bring the pure flow LIKE water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me down
I bring the pure flow drink so deep
The river of life my soul at ease

I bring the pure flow of water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me downI
bring the pure flow rising above
The storms of life to live and love

This is my brand new day in the light
Troubles rising up on the left and the right
I keep my eyes fixed on where I want to go
The rest will follow

And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above my burden is easy?
CHORUS

This is my brand new day starting now
Letting go of the ways that I fall down
The old can be made new the lost can be found
The lost will be found

And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above my burden is easy?
CHORUS

My soul is at ease and I am free
My soul is at ease and I am free
This is my day
My soul is at ease and I am free
I am free?
CHORUS

Behind the Song:
揗ax and Matt wrote this song after watching a snowboarding show on TV. When you are focused and in the flow of things, you have a good run and everything just glides past. That's how it is with our lives when we are focused on God. You are in the pure flow, and life just flows around you.? - Melissa Brock (Superchick)

Big Boss & Tug Boat

On a sunny island in the east, there is a wharf where many ships and boats come from far and wide. Like any other normal days, there are big and small vessals crowding the place. In a small corner, floats 2 of the most special vessals of the whole wharf... They are special becos they belong to the owner of the wharf, they are the Big Boss's fav boats in the whole area. The first boat is a white yacht, with beautiful blue and golden outlines... <BELOVED> is its name. And the other is a tugboat... and its called <LOVE>. Though it had no blue and golden outlines, but it was a magnificent vessal which draws all attention.

One day, there was trouble at the wharf, and the whole place was in chaos. All the wharf's tugboats were either damaged or inadequate. The wharf was in desperate need of help, and the Big Boss decides to loan out his precious tugboat to solve the problem. As much as He loves the tugboat, this precious keepsake, but he had to look at the big picture... The need to straighten out the wharf was more impt.

From that day on <LOVE> went down to the wharf, and followed the master plan that the Big Boss had drawn out to not only restore but to make the wharf a better place where trouble will cease to hap again.

As <BELOVED> watched <LOVE> worked, all sorts of thots were building in its heart. First it tot that Big Boss had forgot abt itself, then it felt that He didnt like itself anymore. There were tots that churned up by itself that it was incapability etc... all sorts of negative things jus kept pouring into this little boat. Finally, it could not take it any more and it decides to imitate <LOVE> and sails out to pull in a few vessals. But a yacht was not meant for such purposes, and <BELOVED> was towed back instead. <BELOVED> was embarassed and felt he had shamed. Most of all, the little boat was hurted, it was really afriad and upset that it was not able to help Big Boss or <LOVE>, instead it had made things worse.

<BELOVED> felt that itself was hopeless and jus stay afloat in its corner... Whenever, Big Boss sends ppl to check on the little one or to do some maintenace, the little yacht would refused to start its engine, nor stay still for the workers to work on. As time goes by, a type of terrible seaweed call condemnation grew speedily on the little thing. It affect not only the outlook of the boat, but also the engine when the seaweeds entangle its propellor. The once beautiful yacht was now in shambles.

Big Boss couldnt bear to see its <BELOVED> in such a state, and went down to it personally. He sat beside the little boat on the wharf, until it was sun set... Then it was dark, and suddenly a storm came forth. The storm was fierce and heavy and the little one was filled with fear and despair. Then it heard someone said," Shhhhh... calm down little one, do not be afraid... I am here." With these words, the yacht lit up... It was Big Boss... He rolled up his sleeves to tidy the place, and made a small fire to warm the place. Then the storm went off.

Big Boss sat down and said to his <BELOVED>:

You are my <BELOVED>, and you will always be my precious BELOVED, yesterday, today and forever more. When you are in my wharf, you are like in my arms where i shelter you from storms and trouble. You are my previous little yacht, and my purpose for you is of fun and joy. Do not compare yourself with yr brother <LOVE>, the tugboat has it own purposes and it is here to serve you. Whenever you are lost or in need of help, <LOVE> is here to guide you home to me... to this wharf corner where i have specially prepared for you. This is not an unwanted corner for you to be left forgotten. But a place at my right hand where i can always see you and keep you protected from storm and ppl. Do not worry, do not fear becos I AM HERE.

KIND & GENTLES!!!!!!!!

What type of personality do you have?

Here is the analysis:

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people
respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

[AMEN AMEN AMEN!!! ^_^]

The Real Me?

Here is the analysis:

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.

Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.

My God, The one who loves me so...

Do you know that someone loves you very much, to the extend that he gave his life in exchange for you to be freed, to be righteous, to be redemned, to be prosperous, to be happy, to be blessed...???

Many many many many years ago, God sent his Son down to earth and live as man. His name is call Jesus. He came down in the form of mankind, to die for us on the cross so that we may be able to return to God's side. His death, not only redemned us from curses and the law, the law of self efforts to gain recognition and receive wat is fit for as in accordance to wat we can do. But this law only magnifies our weakness and inability to fulfill the requirements.

Thus, God sent Jesus to come among us and teach us, and to die for us. Upon the death of Christ on the cross, by the blood he shed and all that he suffered were for us. That all he carried, so that we may have the opposite. He is cursed that we may be bless, He is put to death that we may live. The unthinkable thing is, God planned for all these courses of actions and event to take place, to show us how much he loves us.

If only you know how much God loves you... life will never be the same.
The love that is wider than the sky, higher than the universe and deeper than any ocean.

What would you lose to hear out of this love, and gift of salvation for you?
i beseech you to give yourself a chance, a chance to an abundant life, a chance to be deeply loved and cared for, a chance to be highly favoured by the KING of Kings and LORD of Lords.

http://www.newcreation.org.sg/ourlord.htm

Song Lyrics: "Who am I"

Artist: Casting crowns
Song: Who am I lyrics

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart,

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me,

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours, I am Yours.

I am Yours,
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,I am Yours.

Giving Thanks!

I guess... most of you shld already know by now that i have officially received my promotion notification letter, and it states an increment of a 3 digit amt. PRAISE GOD!

But to be really frank, i was a little disappointed at the amt stated in it. Cos i had spoken to my boss previously, and he was speaking of an amt more than wat i am stated to receive now. Well, i guess its part of God's plan.

Not that God is not willing to prosper me, i believe that God will not bless me with things that i cannot handle and be burdened with it. Truth is, with the increment i have in mind, i guess i will go into a frenzy thinking that $$$ is more than abundant and start splurging... possible to an extend of running high debts. God is good to teach me to manage my finances now... It has really been a long while since i last had any significant savings. And now i am quite comfortable with my finances... Its heading somewhere now.

Blessings of prosperity will come, in the name of Jesus i receive!!! ^_^

Now i am really thinking deep deep if i need a car... read carefully... its THINKING if i would NEED a car, its no longer if i wanna get a car. Ya, now will think farther liaoz... Cos have to maintain a holiday vacation lifestyle of going overseas. If got biz trip i confirm volunteer to go, cos can save $$$. Else my holiday trips will have to downsize budget liaoz... This year will be taipei again, then maybe New Zealand... Europe might have to push to next yr, else it will be a year of bread and butter...

Maybe i shld go overseas alone... then maybe got chance to meet some ppl and make new frens? But then, it will be quite lonely??? No one to talk to, then stay hotel room all alone sounds pretty pathetic leh... Unless i go stay backpackers' inn... tat one think will get to meet more ppl bah, and hopefully learn to communicate with ppl and truely learn how to get along with others. I also dunno wat i wanna see, but i do know tat i would like to have a try at living their lifestyle...

OH YAH!, my fren say wanna go join AMAZING RACE!!! Hmm.. if audition goes thru, then i think it would really be fun...Let's hope we can get thru the audition, and my leave application for 1 mth and most of all, win that USD 100,000 bucks!!!

hehehehe.... looks like i will be having a good dream later huh.... kekekeke

Great is yr faithfulness, great is yr mercies and great is yr grace unto me...
I Praise you my lord and king! AMEN!!!

I.N.F.L.U.E.N.C.E.

A certain modern day police drama was showing how her undercover subordinate was upset over her not fulfilling her promise to him for pulling him out of the assignment. He felt that his covering was going to be blown. He was fearing for his life. But she was adamant in her decision, they were only that close to nailing the bad guy. In the end, his cover was blown and died a gruesome death. As for the female superior, she was the first to spot his corpse amidst a rundown setting. She was stunned and regretful.

In the drama, it showed how one's influence can determine the outcome of another. In the show, the lady's decision caused his death indirectly. Likewise, the words we speak and the things we do, does affect the ppl ard us... It does also carry the power of influence. There is always 2 sides to a coin, and like weapons... this power can be used for encouragement & affirmation or death & destruction.

We all have influences over the ppl ard us, its just that we are unaware of it. For some, its more evident and others not so.


The words of others something we do not have control over, but we do have the power to control what we hear/listen and take in. Take heart in what u hear and accept, for not all that you have heard is true, and if its true, it may not be the TRUTH. For a man reaps what he sows, what you listen and take into your heart is a form of sowing. I have chosen to hear/listen to TRUTHS in expectations of reaping an abundant life.

Ok, think you are right....

I have always believed that i am not a person who worries. To me, worrying is usually a person who uses his/her brain very extensively, trying to consider all factors on an overly done manner. I have to admit, i dun feel that way abt myself... I dun feel that i use my brain that extensively, nor am i tat meticulous to consider all factors accessing situations or events or for the assignments that i have to complete. Ok lar... in short, i jus dun think that i got use my brain lah...

Seems like you are right lor, i used my brain in the wrong way... Think too much then start pressure myself to do the things that i think i am suppose to be able to do. I fall short of my own expectations; which is a slightly higher level where i know if i am able to satisfy my own expectations, others would be satisfied. Then the usual vicious cycle begins...

So bottom line is... I do worry and i recognized tat. So something has to be done.








Thank you Jesus for the blood you have shed on the cross, for by your blood has redeemed me from ALL transgressions... regardless of past, present or future. Thank you Lord that you have also redeemed me from all stress and worries. In the Name of Christ Jesus, spirit of fear... spirit of stress and worry you have no place in my life. From this moment forth the only spirit that is to reign in me is the Holy Spirit of God~!
For by the words of God, i am a new creation and i belong to the new convenant, the good covenant, the convenant of grace. A covenant that is cut between the God the Father and his Perfect Son, Jesus. The convenant that has justly satisfied and replaced the ministry of death! Lord, i give you praise and i thank you that i am in this new convenant.Thank you Jesus that i am RIGHTEOUS in YOU!

In the Name of Jesus,
AMEN!!!

Life after 6 bottles... of diff beer

眼前一片朦朧﹐
自音突然加亮﹐
腦袋有點重﹐
四肢也有稍微的不聽使喚。。。

感覺飄飄然﹐ 但意識還是清醒的

這! ...

就是喝多了得症狀。。。

悶。。。門。。。捫。。。悶!!!

Thinking dun seems to be a good hobby after all, it usually ends up putting obstacles between you and the things u wan; stretching it to a farther distance. Arghhh... who was the fellow who told me that i must think long and good and hard before doing anything?!!!

Been meeting up with ppl whom i have not met for long long long time...
ex-classmates, ex-schoolmates, ex-church mates, ex-coworkers... a lot of ex...
(itchy backside... also saw ex bf and wife pic... )

Initially, i am really lamenting abt how ppl had changed... to me they seems to have changed for the better, whereas i am still the same as before... as if time has never left. BUT its already 2006!!! and i am already xx yrs old!!! How can i the same???!!! Failure man...... :*(

Then after meeting up with those ex- so & so, i discovered that i did change...
My brain now seems to function in blank mode, IT's CONSTANTLY BLANK!!!
I really dunno if it’s a good or bad thing, good in a way that i am constantly aware that i cannot handle life alone, and i really need supernatural help. As for the con side (popcorn yr head lah.... its disadvantages lah...), I really feel very helpless, i seem to have lost all abilities to react and the inability to concentrate/focus.

Imagine there is a Surprise birthday party lying in wait for the star, with all of us frens hiding. The moment has come, the door opens and she steps in... Everyone jumps out shouting "Surprise!!!" & "Happy Birthday!" The atmosphere is great! And the highlight of the night is brought out... A superb birthday cake is brightly lit with candle sparkles, everyone starts singing the song of the nite... Then suddenly, "BOOM!" The cake holder trips and fell... smashing the cake onto the ground. Qn: What is your first reaction?

My answer in the past was to rush to the cake holder who tripped and fell to check how she is or start giving orders to turn on the lights. But now... i think i am more like to be dumbfounded on the spot rather than jumping into action, like b4...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I dun like tat.

As i quiet myself down to blog, i suddenly dun understand why i am so bogged down by these... No, i'm NOT getting senile! Have no idea, but the picture became so clear... I'm just worrying... Worrying for things that are not that important, stressing myself out over not meeting the expectations i have on myself?
OH! SO it’s another case of thinking too much?!!

@#$#$%%^$&*)(*&^%$#@


One thing i did learn though, i am helpless to the things to alot of things, 99.99% of everything... There is no answers i can offer to satisfy anyone, with the exception that Jesus is the answer for all your questions and needs... I have zero ability to help anyone, with the exception of offering my silent company. The only thing i can do nowadays is to pray and ask God to intervene...

Hmm... that din sound too bad after all huh?

My Fav Song... Fav oldie...

Have always been listening to english oldies, since young... cos my parents like. And gradually, i became quite fascinated with them. Here is one song i love to play just before i sleep...


FLY ME TO THE MOON
----------------------------

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

Looking back at 2005

Actually i did learn and found out abt alot of things in the past year that had jus gone by... Maybe i will just break it into a few posts to relieve you from a lengthy essay.

I'm not sure if i had ever posted anything of similar content, but i do feel very strongly abt wat i am going to share. It was a tedious journey, and a mentally & emotionally drawing experience. Experiencing a down time in life may be more than just a simple obstacle that one can struggle thru. Some ppl take it too hard and they just stay down forever. I attempted to stay down when i met with an obstacle that i felt i could no longer handle. Be it mentally, emotionally or even physically... i can no longer fight it. Like everyone else, i chose to run from it. In the midst of it all, i did all i can to forget, to erase the memory of it, as if the situation/problem would be erased as well. And one day, i succeeded. But....

Without the piece of memory, my life was empty. Gone were all the memories, all good and bad, lest they remind me of the pain. But gone were also my passion and purpose...

I tried to filled that emptiness that was left behind from removing the certain memory, and it created such a big space which was alot bigger than i had expected. Then not long after, i began to search for a resolution the life i can no longer tolerate. And i learnt that sometimes desperation can also give one the courage they need.

Finally, the quest to regain the lost memory began.

And i found it back, after some bumps and bruises. The moment the memories were awoken, the pain was excruciating. Everything flooded back like a tsunami that slap me in the face. Like a broken doll, l just lay there. All i could muster was a prayer, God heard me and took me into his arms... and nursed me back. Even now as i speak, i'm still not in tip top condition yet. But i have no fears, cos God is not done with me yet.

What i am trying to say was, despite all the trouble i went thru to forget and bury my hurts, they didnt disappear or recover. And when i had succeeded in forgetting, i embarked on the journey to recover the forgotten part. Once u are determine to recover the lost memories, u will find them and the pain will not lessen. This cycle caused me 2 yrs of my time. Although, i did not regret that i had wasted 2 yrs of my time, and i was more prepared to "dress the wound", i just like to say that not everyone has to learn the hard way that i did. Pls dun be like me... time is too precious to be wasted like tat...

1st Blog for the yr

Well, its the first blog of the year 2006, there is so much in my heart that i have no idea where to start.

The start of this blog shld have been some nice journals of pics that i took while i was in Hanoi, but i guess i am really not in the mood to do tat type of blog rite now...

Cos i started the very first few hrs of the new year pretty much in tears and my mood was as grey as the sky in Hanoi. i started to speak less to him, and somehow i find myself unable to look him in the eye. I did not ask him, cos i did not want an answer from him. I really am not interested at any answer or explanation at that pt of time. The brief statement with explanation that sparked off my uneasiness cos my heart to be more restless. I was really afraid, very afraid... and i am still afraid.

When i finally returned to SG, i told myself tat it all might had just been a tot too much on my end. It may very well be a misunderstanding all together on my part. I told myself that i believe in him, and i will. But the heaviness was getting unbearable. Finally i told everything to my Best Bud, and she reprimanded me. I shld have questioned him, i shld have demand and explanation, and most of all i shldnt be speculating on my own... cos it wont be fair to him. I only have one answer to all these shld have... i am afraid tat my worst fears might be the truth. And we jus sat together in silence.

***Lord Jesus, i am placing this matter in yr hands now. i dun wanna it back.
I dunno wat to expect, but i know that leaving it in yr hands is the best option i have.
Let your peace sooth the fear and tears in me,
let yr love jus flood over me that i will keep my tot and worries far from me over tis.
I dun wanna be bogged down by tis any more.
In your ways Lord, pls resolve it for me.
In the name of Jesus Christ, i ask and pray.
Amen. ***

Eve of Eve's

Today is the EVE's of 2006 New Year Day's EVE...

And i am not in the place where i fondly call home.
Instead, i am at a place where i once dreaded to be, on the very day i arrived on this distant land. Though i am accompanied by the head of the family, seems like i am bogging him down like a horse carrying cargo...

Think i will wanna be more adventurous and go out more, or jus find somewhere to sit down and start writing my blogs on ink and paper, so tat i can put it up when i get back home. Internet is really scarce here, good internet places i mean... places where i can stay the whole day without feeling queer or like an animal in the cage...

Well, think i better go now, the shop seems to be closing........

CIAOZ.....

游戲機

隨著年齡的增長﹐人的慾望和需求也會不同。
但是﹐這一切的嚮往都是為了滿足自己內心的一個洞。。。
這洞感覺上好象是怎麼也填不滿的黑洞。

就像一台游戲機。。。
如果你投的是零錢而不是那商店規定的游戲硬幣﹐
再多的零錢你也是不可能開動它的。
又如果你投的游戲硬幣是對的﹐
那游戲機也只不過是被你啟動罷了。。。
過了一段時間後﹐它還是會關機。

唯有游戲機的主人才有能力讓游戲不停地延續﹐
應為只有主人才會知道游戲機需要的是什么﹐
也只有他才能夠滿足游戲機﹐
讓那游戲繼續下去。

游戲機只是一台機器﹐
即使它是多么多麼的精彩﹐
多麼多么的厲害﹐它還是一台機械﹐
它雖然可以設定一些電腦程序來應付某些問題﹐
但它的結構並不是為了自救而設計的。
它唯一能為自己做的是接不接受外來的硬幣, 外來的幫助。