Tuesday, August 03, 2010

OMG Lunch Cook Off


Well, i have been to cook in the office for a long time,
and this is the OMG Cook Off Lunch...
This IS it!

Nothing fancy, cos i still abit shy to take out my cooking utensils and stuffs.



The food in the tuperware... freshly bought from Giant.



The cooking barangs includes the cutting sheets, cutting knife & rice cooker...
U can also see the Instant noodles and canned baked beans.



My new toy...
Nice blue, but honestly i would have bought pink/green/orange if i had seen it...
Dunno is dun have or the Giant i went already sold out the colors liaoz...



Preparations will begin in 30-45mins...
with the following menu...

Yong tau foo soup with udon noodles
Baked beans with octopus like chicken franks

* Ps. Dun think will have change to upload the cooked product... Cos have to fast fast cook, and fast fast eat then fast fast wash up. :X

shhhhhh.....

======================================

The finished products!

:) Homecooked taste :)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Tips for travelling

Extract taken from Paul's blog tdy...

1. Avoid museums. This might seem to be absurd advice, but let’s just think about it a little: if you are in a foreign city, isn’t it far more interesting to go in search of the present than of the past? It’s just that people feel obliged to go to museums because they learned as children that travelling was about seeking out that kind of culture. Obviously museums are important, but they require time and objectivity – you need to know what you want to see there, otherwise you will leave with a sense of having seen a few really fundamental things, except that you can’t remember what they were.

2. Hang out in bars. Bars are the places where life in the city reveals itself, not in museums. By bars I don’t mean nightclubs, but the places where ordinary people go, have a drink, ponder the weather, and are always ready for a chat. Buy a newspaper and enjoy the ebb and flow of people. If someone strikes up a conversation, however silly, join in: you cannot judge the beauty of a particular path just by looking at the gate.

3. Be open. The best tour guide is someone who lives in the place, knows everything about it, is proud of his or her city, but does not work for an agency. Go out into the street, choose the person you want to talk to, and ask them something (Where is the cathedral? Where is the post office?). If nothing comes of it, try someone else – I guarantee that at the end of the day you will have found yourself an excellent companion.

4. Try to travel alone or – if you are married – with your spouse. It will be harder work, no one will be there taking care of you, but only in this way can you truly leave your own country behind. Travelling with a group is a way of being in a foreign country while speaking your mother tongue, doing whatever the leader of the flock tells you to do, and taking more interest in group gossip than in the place you are visiting.

5. Don’t compare. Don’t compare anything – prices, standards of hygiene, quality of life, means of transport, nothing! You are not travelling in order to prove that you have a better life than other people – your aim is to find out how other people live, what they can teach you, how they deal with reality and with the extraordinary.

6. Understand that everyone understands you. Even if you don’t speak the language, don’t be afraid: I’ve been in lots of places where I could not communicate with words at all, and I always found support, guidance, useful advice, and even girlfriends. Some people think that if they travel alone, they will set off down the street and be lost forever. Just make sure you have the hotel card in your pocket and – if the worst comes to the worst – flag down a taxi and show the card to the driver.

7. Don’t buy too much. Spend your money on things you won’t need to carry: tickets to a good play, restaurants, trips. Nowadays, with the global economy and the Internet, you can buy anything you want without having to pay excess baggage.

8. Don’t try to see the world in a month. It is far better to stay in a city for four or five days than to visit five cities in a week. A city is like a capricious woman (or a capricious man, if you are a woman): she/he takes time to be seduced and to reveal him/herself completely.

9. A journey is an adventure. Henry Miller used to say that it is far more important to discover a church that no one else has ever heard of than to go to Rome and feel obliged to visit the Sistine Chapel with two hundred thousand other tourists bellowing in your ear. By all means go to the Sistine Chapel, but wander the streets too, explore alleyways, experience the freedom of looking for something – quite what you don’t know – but which, if you find it, will – you can be sure – change your life.

As an old hippie, I know what I’m talking about…
The text was taken from my book “Like a flowing river”

http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2010/07/20/tips-for-travelling-eng-port-esp-fra/

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Goal Should NEVER change

It has been increasing difficult to keep things in order, in control and possibly in restricting the untamed tongue that had coupled with a FFT (Fast & Fiery Temperament). Its been a month of new job new company, a month since I got my car, a month since my last entry and a month of less to almost no drinking. It’s an achievement? Nah, it’s a restriction otherwise aka known as a clause under the Driver Responsibility.

A month ago, I decided and set my foot down to join S and A. But by divine intervention, I have left them hanging in the air, because I am no longer certain. The evening we celebrate my joining, was the same night that sparked me not to. The first nugget of advice he gave was “Our goal should never change…” It was like a bomb dropped, a flare gun going off, it was crystal what my next step should be……

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The ONE thing I can do best…

Many times the tongue has been a wild loosely disciplined entity, and the freedom it has mostly comes in situations where I personally felt a response is required immediately. As Pastor said, and many experiences too, when you do not know what to say, it’s best to smile. This is an extremely difficult thing to do man!

Is this situation a trial practice? With such news I really don’t know how to react or response, of course hearing this news from a 3rd party is a time buyer… certainly an advantage… While trying to remain calm, I can only force myself to thing if there are things we can help her with… I’m sure she will say she is doing fine with the support of her family. The model answer to my thoughts is only 1 word, PRAYER!

Things that are beyond my control, beyond my reach are best intervened by God. Things that I think are within my abilities, I am learning to start with going to God first, without rushing ahead like a mad dog. This lesson is one of those where I have yet to graduate, since a long time back.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Unexpected “appraisal” day

It was an unexpected “appraisal” day, I dunno what she told her, but it came up as I needed help and direction. I admit that I had used the words loosely to allow her to feel she is not alone, but it did make me go “ARGH”. I can feel her frustration when she kept emphasizing on me not having a goal.

The truth is, it is true that I love to look to her for an annual appraisal for practical career progression. It is true that I thought she would be able to help me. But I guess I have decided to take after God. From the day I went crazy looking for a purpose in life, I broken down when I am not able to identify a goal for myself… aimless being drifting in the world is a sentence worse than death.

It was God, It was Jesus, who came to me and tell me its alright, who told me that my life is not a bounced cheque waiting to be cashed, but rather a cheque in writing. And I am the one who is to fill up the cheque, I am the one who says where the cheque is used for and how much worth is this cheque going to draw! I guess I am spoiled with such love that I can do anything I want and make anything happen in Christ.

Able to live a life that has been planned out, sit back relax and wait for doors to be open by God is amazing. I also thought I will turn into a disgusting lazy worm, but it came out differently… In fact, I am all the more eager to do things once the task is given.

Things happened because of planning, but for me things just work out; simply because God did the planning and my role is to just rest and follow.

Friday, June 18, 2010

selfish

It was a selfish agenda to have people depending and relying on me. All because I am not able to identify, find my purpose in life. It is a sentence worse than death! Without purpose, without a reason to live, it is the same to be as waiting for death to come. This is one thought I cannot bear, the one thought that can drive me to jump of a building any time.

Having people to need me and rely on me is wrong, not only because I am not able to help them, but I deprived them of their divine help which brings them much more than copping with their needs? How can I be so selfish that the help I gave only made things worse and to go on as nothing happened?

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Its coming…

I can feel it… its going to come to pass very soon…

Not sure how i will react, not sure if its a yes or no;

But i do know that i will know what to do when the time comes.

A load off the mind

Tonight might just be the night, the night where we all can have a easier to enter the zzz land. Though i feel a little queasy, but the paperwork is set and if all goes well, coming Friday might just be the day.

Though i am paying for the vehicle myself, from deposit to upfront payments to taxes and installments, but i am still happy with this present my family gave me. The present they gave was the approval for the car. Surprised? :) You wanna make a guess what is the other load off my mind? Its not having a car of my own, but its the NO MORE TORTUROUS walks thru the sgcarmart.sg and Ubi Automart!

Thank you Jesus! : )

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Vulnerability

They said I am a typical fit to the descriptions of the horoscopes, be it the astrology Gemini, or the Chinese zodiac Goat, or even Bazi – Eight Characters analysis… I am one who is often said to be an advocate, mediator, and even a strong hard piece of metal shield. I am independent, strong and hardly gets down by anything. I thank God that all those are true, but its true only becos God was the one who enabled me to be. I always believe that God is the one who gives us the desires in ourselves, gives us the passion and the ability to satisfy that same desire.

As hard as the metal can be, it can only protect things that are of physical impact; but it is powerless to the forces that cannot be seen by the human eye. Love is vulnerability, and the only weakest link of the chain. Like I have often said, to love someone is to hand yourself naked self over to the other party; it’s like surrendering to him/her/them your bare heart allowing them to treat it in any manner they like. And in this world, there is no one who has my heart like my family does. But we have a problem, or at least I have a problem… and this problem is like a thorn in the flesh where the wound has been inflamed. Each time an incident comes up, the wound would hurt like hell. I really hope that this thorn be removed and that the wound will heal as if it has never been in place before.

This is my family, people whom I can never stop loving, even if I am bleeding, or crippled or paralyzed. Of course I can choose to leave and be riddance of it, but I prefer not to… I choose not to… If I decide to be here with them, then my mind, my heart, my thoughts and my body have to be here with them. Regardless in any circumstance or any issues.

Monday, May 31, 2010

“Singapore General Hospital”

I am kinda happy when you come knocking on my MSN, not because you are offering me a position in the midst of my job search, but because you thought of me as someone who wouldn’t mind low pay and sweating my weekends away with you. I never really knew what you thought of me, especially with all that mambo jumbo on Bazi calculations… but tonight I do know that I passed you looks test… hahahah Hey, u asked for it yourself, you gave yourself away… and no amount of sidetracking you do is able to smoke and distract me k… Well, I do know that I have the upper hand @ this chess game of ours.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Silence

There are times when things are hard to let it off your tongue, words that are either so heavy that they went back down your throat, or extremely light that it evaporates before it has the chance to be instructed to its destination.

Be it truths, explanations, or white lies… submission to silence is inevitable. Though picture paints a thousand words, but silence encompassed all that is to be said and unsaid.

Lets have a little faith.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Exhibition booth neighbour

My first impression of him:
Look like some taiwanese actor, not handsome or cute looking but gives an impression of a down to earth quiet character, humble, serious, introvert, passive... more of engineering person than sales.

My guess of my impression to him: friendly, loud, smile loving, talkative, restless strange maybe weird...

2nd impression of him:
He shaved. hahahaha... mysterious maybe?

Wonder wat is his Chinese name, and why he ask for my name card... I dun sell health care equipment wat... do u think he will headhunt me becos of my ultra friendliness?

Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 01 - morning

Live from 119 Genting,
and in point form... more or less lag...

Lost as bat, cos its day numerous uno, a deep impression of a power smile which turned out to be the GM.
Following after, a shocking discovery... I just hope I hadn't done any image damage to myself in my Facebook history.


First official sales meeting, first in a sales environment, first time so bored and decide to go "lunch" alone... but think my breakfast to powderful cos I totally not hungry, thus resulting in a teh si & bao takeaway.

Quick Updates

Since the last post, i had been occupied with interview and deciding between companies that had offered me a position in their company. As usual, i could not make out which is the best offer. But i was reminded of my previous experience in deciding between offers… that God had said to me not to take the best option; it was then i realized God was telling me there was no best option, and no matter what i chose, He is there to make sure it is a good option.

Still, i was struggling… and i decided to attend my first Sunday church service in 2010. That one Sunday did what i couldnt do in days, i had my decision. Though much murmuring was surrounding me, as the other company had offered me a better sounding designation and higher basic pay with a possible good commission should i clinch a big project. But, i guess it was God’s courage, i kept to the decision. So, in 7hrs i will be reporting for work, as a Project Sales Engineer.

Today, we also celebrated my grandmother’s birthday! I can see that she was and still is very happy, all 25 of us were there singing and wishing her Happy Birthday! The most encouraging thing was my grandma suddenly broke out into prayer, thanking God for everything before her eyes right after we sang happy birthday song to her… She is thankful for all of us, i melt! My grandma has always been and still IS a great role model!

Then there is one other small thing, i finally had a chance to see some of the outreach gestures by my church, which all along i tot there was none. It was a very encouraging Thursday evening to see so many ppl who are all for sharing the good news! Though this faulty lamp stand has not lit up yet, but its really warmed up by what she saw… :) I hope in the near future, the broken lamp stand will resume the light bearing task.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Wild goose chase... hahaha

The constant reminder and counting done by the closest of my frens were well intentions, though its not sitting well with me on the inside; I'm not saying that its not good, but i really do appreciate these ppl who cut the bull and tell me straight in the face. Anyway, the count has brought me to almost a year since i left my last position in any form of formal work.

Yar i've been browsing around... routinely go on JobDB & JobStreet and sending resumes for positions i thought would be appropriate or even interesting. I admit i've been messing around with some companies, and going to the interviews. But little seems to attract me. Then a grp of pro frens come along and offer to help me by getting me to do personality tests, and one grp even did my Ba Zi Ming Pan Calculations. Suddenly, i get caught up in this swirl of THIS & THAT! Hey, its scary and when it swallows u up, its like quick sand. Our Creator had unparalleled foresight to build within us a spirit, a part of himself as the last line of defense, from losing our minds. This spirit suddenly awakened and rang the alarm, BIG alarm, that says "HEY! SOMETHING IS WRONG! WAKE UP!".

Personality Tests and character analyzing are great tools to use when looking for directions in life. But when you place too much emphasis on these results, they basically dictates your life... why cage yourself in a washing machine and go round & round till u puke???

Yes, i do work along a boundary, to see where my limits are and how far i can go. But i am never in it for too long. SO why should i start now? Ya! SO i SHAN'T & i WON'T!
No more tests, no more calculations, no more horoscopes, enough is enough.

As someone said, i shld do the right thing and not just keep doing things right.
i should give weight to my spirit, and not overwrite it just to avoid conflicts;
I should and i want and i will... TRUST IN GOD.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Thks Jac!

Jac says:
Abba, bless June. Give her the desires of her heart. Let her be spoilt for choices when seeking for her next career. Men's words have no power over us, but Your words are alive and active Lord. You are the alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end. Blessed is June's kneading Bowl. Let her be fruitful and prospers in watever that she sets her hand on. Give her a career that she will enjoy..
and be passionate abt...and that will allow her to develop the gifts and her talents...that her life will gLorify you. Amen!

June Lim - Beloved Child of God & Successful Cafe Owner says:
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Careers for ENFP Personality Types

Whether you're a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you're moving along the right path, it's important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers. It's equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding.

ENFPs generally have the following traits:

  • Project-oriented
  • Bright and capable
  • Warmly, genuinely interested in people; great people skills
  • Extremely intuitive and perceptive about people
  • Able to relate to people on their own level
  • Service-oriented; likely to put the needs of others above their own
  • Future-oriented
  • Dislike performing routine tasks
  • Need approval and appreciation from others
  • Cooperative and friendly
  • Creative and energetic
  • Well-developed verbal and written communication skills
  • Natural leaders, but do not like to control people
  • Resist being controlled by others
  • Can work logically and rationally - use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it
  • Usually able to grasp difficult concepts and theories

ENFPs are lucky in that they're good a quite a lot of different things. An ENFP can generally achieve a good degree of success at anything which has interested them. However, ENFPs get bored rather easily and are not naturally good at following things through to completion. Accordingly, they should avoid jobs which require performing a lot of detailed, routine-oriented tasks. They will do best in professions which allow them to creatively generate new ideas and deal closely with people. They will not be happy in positions which are confining and regimented.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ENFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the ENFP:

  • Consultant
  • Psychologist
  • Entrepreneur
  • Actor
  • Teacher
  • Counselor
  • Politician / Diplomat
  • Writer / Journalist
  • Television Reporter
  • Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, or Computer Specialist
  • Scientist
  • Engineer

***** So i didnt stray from my basic instincts after all! Engineer & Computer Specialist… I’m Happy! ***

The Kyle in us

Kyle XY was a drama which i stumbled upon through online TV, and it intrigued me. The way they had introduced the lead actor, Kyle, and the ambitious plot that the production had wanted was captivating. The way Kyle learns, is absolutely amazing but the one thing that strike me was how much he appreciates his new found knowledge. Most of us, or rather me, a new found knowledge is similar to a new toy, you play with it and u leave it aside when u find something new. But the character Kyle leaks the scent of gratitude, and cherishes each new piece of knowledge. Its a drama, and things can be dramatic or idealistic. But i think its a great reminder that learning itself is something to be thankful for! In my search to collect information, to build up my own library, i guess i may have lost the true intention of building that library within me; allowing quantity of information to overwrite quality, failing to filter the true importance.

There is alot we can relate to Kyle, and alot more that we can get from the show. But i shant tell u any, lest a spoiler be seen.

The first season of KYLE was really interested as we speculate the mystery of his birth, and it was all the more interested to watch him learn… 1 new thing everyday, and i believe we all can relate to his learning experiences in one way or another.

I’ve a slight different preference on films, dramas and movies than others… So dun come complaining to me if u did not like it. Becos i do enjoy this drama, which sadly had announced that there will be no Season 4, nor Season Finale… sucky huh… God, please get those producers to give KYLE XY a proper ending and not the rotten Season 3 ending!

KYLE IS COOL! :)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Dear God...

I have been complaining a lot... haven't i?


Things are the same but yet, they seem different for me; The very things I thought to be unchanged are no longer the same.


It's strange to be not on-sync with the very world I live and grew up in, as if I do not belong here.


Some said truths are often go challenged, but they always triumph. Is that true? There are others who say there is a price to pay for success, but we determine the worth. Is that true?


People also say that there is no absolute, and that only change is constant... That I know is not true. : )

Thursday, March 11, 2010

AndroBlog

Greetings...

I am andro, messenger of me mistress, the Blogger.

She'll b ard more freq, w me now.

Pleased to have met you.

cheerz.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Moment

This is it!

Its NOW or NEVER!

Breathe! Keep eyes on the target! Dun take back the foot u lifted to step out!

Rem... this is the closest u will ever get!

Its NOW or never~!

It runs in the blood!

It’s the cool night that I really love, and sitting down to just think abt stuffs… Yes, I do admit that I think a lot, and I really enjoy doing it… :X It’s really strange that you know someone better after they have passed on, and more astonishing to find the same traits running in my very own blood. I remember my secondary school days when literature suddenly grabbed me and started this frenzy of poetry writing. It was a school trend that I had set on fire, even the teachers joined in to help us improve on our poetry writings. The spark in the teachers eyes were burning with excitement.

To think of it, I never did share with my grandpa about this sudden interest, this poet ambition was such a way off thing that my parents cannot understand why where I get the inclination from. I wish I had, cos if I had done so, we would have much more to talk abt and relate to each other ? I distinctively remember my parents wondering why I like reading and poetry so much, when neither of them can stand words and characters… Now I have the answer, becos I take after grandpa. In fact, I take after ALL of my “upstream” … :D

Grandpa Lim – Real life poet… I am impressed! Now I know why I like reading and poetry when neither of my parents is into it. He taught me wat free spirit means… and how long I had forgotten abt it.

Grandma Lim – Keep of memories in ALL ways, she keeps the littlest things that draws any relations to any memories. Her fierce fight against loss time was victorious! She too loved reading, she was the one who gotten me glues to the book cupboard in her hse whenever I am there.

Grandpops on my ma’s side – Coffee lover who once owned coffee shops, and taxi driver… Coffee drinking was a ceremony when kids turned adult in the family… only adults can drink coffee, so u can guess how much I am into coffee last time. Not to mention my love to take cabs… HEHEHEHE

Grandmama on my ma’s side – The biggest trait got to be the love to feed ppl! Cooking itself has no meaning, but if you are cooking for ppl u love, it’s a different story altogether! The one year away from home was the best experience I had, cos I know I was cooking for my friends and buddy!

Mum & Dad ? Well, if you know them, u will know I am the exact replicate of them… can’t complain! :)

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Whats on your heart?

Hebrews 8:10
10“… I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts…”

Many of us have been taught that we cannot trust our hearts. We quote verses like “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked…” (Jeremiah 17:9), not knowing that Jeremiah was referring to the man who had not received Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

I have had people come to me and say, “Pastor Prince, I don’t know what I should do with my life.”
“What is on your heart?” I asked one of them.
“I would love to work among children.”
“Then work among children!”
“But I am waiting on the Lord to tell me to do that.”
“Well, He has given you the desire, so go and work among children!”
“But the desire comes from my heart. How do I know if it is of God?”

My friend, once you are saved, you have a brand new heart (Ezekiel 36:26), and you can trust the promptings of your heart because God dwells in you and He leads you from within. And don’t worry because His promptings will never contradict His Word. It will lead you to good success.

Often, you find that when you follow your inner promptings, it is actually God who has put those desires in your mind and written them on your heart. I remember years ago when I approached one of our church leaders and told him, “I really think that you are called to be a full-time pastor.” It turned out to be a confirmation of what he already knew on the inside. You see, God was already leading him from within. Today, he is one of our full-time pastors.

If you enjoy something and desire to do it, then go for it! Go with the flow. God Himself says that He will guide us from within. Let’s not doubt Him. And don’t worry about the outcome. Your part is just to follow the flow. God’s part is to work in you both the willingness and the performance of it! (Philippians 2:13)
Beloved, because God has given you a new heart, He will write His desires on it. And as you fulfill these desires, you will bring forth fruit, and not wither and die. Whatever you do will prosper!


You've done it...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

陪我聊一聊

你有说过如果想要找人聊聊,自己会找得到适合的听众 。可是,我真得找不到。。。找朋友逛街吃饭看电影,往往是他们向我吐露心事,说他们的烦恼; 在这样的情况下,你说我开得了口吗?即使找到人后,我想我也开不了口。。。

莲常常抱怨我有事不找她,她常常生我的气,因为她觉得我不信任她。但我难过的心情,我真的不知道怎么说。。。现在的我开口前,眼泪就不自觉地流下。近期的我不比以前了,可能是极限到了吧,眼泪已不再受控制了。

我已经把自己逼到这儿了,我看不到前方的路,也不知道那路是哪儿;但这一切并非我担心的,我担心的是自己真的已变成朽木。。。 朽木不可雕的雕,再怎么努力,怎么逼迫自己也无法。。。。。。

Saturday, February 20, 2010

难过

难过,

难过,

难过,

难过,

难过,

难过,

难过,

说不出的痛 真的好辛苦, 大家都好辛苦

难过地喘不过气来,或许 可能。。。

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My reply to Substation

Good day!

My apologies on a day's late reply to your email, i felt that i had to show some sincerity and responsibility to honestly ponder and answer your questions,
thus the delay.

I first heard of Substation was many years ago, when my school had participated in a theatric and stage management course. Although i can no longer remember the people i met, but the impression of wanting to be involve with theatric works was strong. On seeing the hiring ad, i thought it would be good to revive some of the childhood dream to be part of the Substation. I do understand that the Substation is beyond theatre works, and i felt that it is a good opportunity to get introduced into Arts and learn new things in a all new arena.

It has always been in my plans to move on from an engineering scope of work, to a more people oriented position. Generally, i love to do aliasing and coordination works, meeting different people and getting to know them and their needs. I do not have any academical knowledge or experience in marketing, but i have 101% commitment to give, especially when my passion meeting new challenges to overcome.

Thank you for the heads up on the salary, to be real frank, i had expected a pay cut but not that low though. Nevertheless, i say to you, tell me what can i do help make that change sooner. :) I would love the chance to make a difference.

Have a good week ahead!

Cheerz,
June Lim.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Shit happens

As i ponder over my day of not so ideal events, the term "shit happens" came...

The unbearable noise of renovations and drilling that will drive u nuts is more than enuff to make u want to check into MIH on yr own. Following with a series of places u had to try before finding a place to rest yr feets and drink some water and yet not being able to do anything. I shall rem to charge my lappy everyday, @ least i can go library for wireless SG; all power points are hogged by ppl in starbucks or any place with decent table and chairs. Then coming home to find the $3k+ lappy be stuck in a endless loop of startup and black screen is like the toppings of a very bad cake...
BUT STILL! I dun think these are shits... jus unpleasant experiences...

Besides, shitting shld be a daily thing, so shit happens... well... daily!

:X

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Desktop

The world is like yr user desktop,
when in e hands of evil
dun think w world can b any where beautiful.

In yr hands, u call e shots.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

收回!

把眼泪收回!一点眼泪也不许掉,不许滴!

不是骄傲,不是坚强, 什么也不是

我承认我并不是什么好人, 我只是一个骨子里 暗地里莫名的倔强

有什么时候眼泪能解决得了问题?

没有!最后只有两个选择:

1。 翻脸到底就为一口气,为她误会我而道歉

2。 和以往一样 若无其事地让它过去, 当从来也没发生过;把那口冤气当药吞回去

我一直在想,如果我自私一点,可能这一切就不会发生的;

至少不会让我看到他掉眼泪,也更不会是我惹她生气

好心做坏事好像是我的“特色”, 一个挥不掉 赶不去的 “特色”

不完美的人生 我理解 也尽力完美化

我真的有很尽力, 不论是自己或是身边的人,我能给的我都给了

真的。。。 我也已经空了

现在,我只剩不服输的倔强

所以,更加不能掉泪。。。 一定要把眼泪收回去!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

damn… my Chinese suck…

当事者和旁观者本来就不一样,看到的感受的迷惑的都有一定的差别,所以当自己从当事者的身份被调换成旁观者时 会一再的提醒自己把那张嘴管好。可是,有时候真的替对方紧张到非跳出来不可。。。

她一直在转牛角尖,一直在圆圈里绕;像是被蒙上了双眼底一直走。明明就可以把眼罩拿掉, 但嘴里一直在念没有光看不见。。。

而你

今天又掉眼泪了,你哭着说你没有办法相信“爱”了,因为上一段感情失败也述说了你的失败。。。 更证明了“爱”这东西是假象。

我问你:一段感情,爱情只需要一个人 就能秤的起来吗?

Example: A relationship is like a car, and love is like the fuel. Going into a relationship is like getting into a car, and hoping to progress to a different place. But for the car to move, fuel is required. The max capacity each of you is able to carry is only 100%, and the car has a fuel requirement of 200%. If only 1 of you is give your all to the car/relationship, the car can only move that far. And soon you find both the car & yrself no longer have any fuel left for either.

If both parties are giving their 100%, and still the car is not moving, it only means that either the car/relationship is faulty, or the type of fuel from either party is not correct. A car with fuel mixed with petrol and diesel will die eventually, not becos the fuel is a myth, but becos of incompatibility.

U cannot say blame the fuel if the car is not working the way you want ah!

 

And there is you, stop complaining about the government, complaining about your friends, about company, can u stop short yr gap for 1 min? So all your options are shit, still… u made the choice to stay put so shut up and think wat u want, then go find ways to get wat u wan. Here’s a tip, complaining doesnt help u get what u want; State yr requests to the right person and work it out lor! At the rate you going, u’r heading for doom!

 

Damn… my English sucks too…..

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Log check?

Leaving milestone 2009 to start 2010 seems to be nothing but a change in he calendar for me this time round, many of the challenges has yet come to a siesta point, not to mention drawing to a end or even anywhere close bah...

Every year is a year of change, and now i know the year 2008 was really a pre-prep time for 2009, where dramatic changes occur... This day last year, i said " Come what may, i am ready..." And true enough, like pass ghosts they raised themselves back towards me, demanding true resolutions to issues... issues that were place aside on borrowed time. Passing of family and relatives, the estranged relationships with relatives, purpose of Life & living, switching careers etc... its more than a handful. Years before i was told i need to spare a thought for my family, then i was told i am selfish; there is so much i have to come to terms with, confront with myself before anything can be resolved. Even with 6 months gone, i guess only 1% is processing... i really do wonder if it can be successfully completed... Its going to take a pretty long while...

Something did slightly change this time, at least this time i have a list of things to be done this year with all signs of fulfilling it... Sincerity to the extend that plans has been made with specific time frames, reading up on psychology books... starting with psychology for dummies... LOL... dun wanna splurge money on something i cannot complete lah...

Not sure if i have changed or i will change, i'll leave it for ppl ard me to tell me... but i do want to stop struggling between choices, and having to make a "i can only choose 1 decisions". I'm not looking to be the me i was 10 years ago, i'm looking to be something even BETTER than that. I look forward to 2011.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Goodbye Doulos

"Doulos on her final journey" a headline that had caught me by surprised; It was a vessel where many of us dreamed of joining when we come to age. Sadly, it was forgotten the moment we graduated, as we scamper to look for a job which turned to career building. She is a one of a kind vessel, more than a floating bookstore, more than bringing literary to many parts of the world, it also carried hope and gospel to many in the days where iron curtains were raised in Russia, China and Vietnam. It was also a training ground for many youths, who learnt lessons that became part of them.

It was our Sec 3 days, where one of our assistant cell leader announced her absence for 6 months, as she was going to serve on board Doulos. And that was our first encounter with the vessel. The day before she sailed, she invited us to board the vessel and look around. It was a carrier of amazing stories and testimonies of how lives were changed in one way or another. For the young and bold, our cell were bursting with excitements. Little did we expect that, 4 years down the road all these were but smoke...

傻瓜走的路

A sudden moment of me sitting-in a meeting chairing by my sub-consciousness, gave me a little encouragement:

It was some nerves i had when i told God 2009 is the year where i was ready to have things to be resolved, where i was ready to face what i couldn't before. Things may seem worse now, but it really isn't . Before any wound can start to heal, it first has to be cleanse. Adding salt to wound may seem to be torturous, but its still a primitive cleansing and disinfecting methodology.

Many a times, there are many easier ways to do things painlessly and more effectively and this is no exception. I can no longer rem what happened in 2008 for me to recall for such bravery, opting for the salt treatment, but i do remember that this was the only way to truly resolve everything and not burying it in some forest and flee into another land.

It had been a torment since the day i ever played with the idea, but it was worth the resignation letter becos it was not simply make a move to change my working environment or a career move but dealing with with things that matters, allowing me to move on. I am still struggling, and wringing in pain, but its worth it.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Funerals

News of 2 funerals of distant relatives in a span of 3 days, alarmingly high...

My grandma's grief let lose everyone's tear gates, and my role was to keep the smiles and spirits high... once again, when the 4 of us gathers, we were like kids in single digit age.. :) 大哥 was slow but warmed up eventually, 二哥 is still the best cos he is always coming to my rescue when Chow bullies me... The 3 brothers all in their own ways, and are still our fav playmates in younger days and in these days where we all have already hit our thirties.

PS. DARN! 二哥's twin dotz called me 姑姑... :P

It really doesnt feel like Christmas......

Thursday, December 17, 2009

AVATAR

After failing to catch the movie of choice, AVATAR was the obvious choice. I remembered tell a friend that this was an environmentalist movie, after catching its trailer @ GV Plaza. And i was right, but i did not expect to feel shaken after the movie.

I'm not going to tell u the story of the movie, cos u can watch it or read the synopsis... no point me writing about it... i'm not the writer of the script.

I do have to say the scale and the cinematography sent my mind racing between the Hanging Garden of Babylon & Garden of Eden. There is a storyline not that its not unpredictable, but with the graphics, it definitely grabbed our attention and glues our sight to the big screen. I see Nature vs Modern, one fighting to advance and the other fighting to keep and balance. The call for revolution to keep and protect the natural world, a big movie propaganda to go pro-environment.

Everything else was huge, to show how small humans are. They also show how destructive we are unless we convert ourselves to learn and live the ways the original humans who had began to live. The movie does scares me a little bit, religion scents are evident throughout... concepts of maintaining a balance is strangely similar to Ying and Yang in Taoism, then there is subtle note of environmentalist becoming a religion of it own. Remembering revelations in the bible, the one who unite the world might just very well be the chair person who uses environmental conservations as his winning tiles to gain respect and power from all...

This is a time of uncertain waters...

Monday, November 23, 2009

2009-11-22

一个人要振作几次才能真正的站起来?

一个人可以振作几次才能成功?

一个人又有几次的机会振作机会,几次的振作精力呢?

我已经不知道自己当初有的能耐到底是确实发生过的事, 或是个幻觉;

也不知道曾经的能耐是否还在。。。

虽然每次的绝境都由上帝意想不到地救赎,

但这一次有让我不断地从窗口往下看

幸福到底是什么?

是一家人出外同游还是两人甜蜜相处?

是饱足一餐还是一杯热乎乎的香浓咖啡?

是高回报率的工作还是拥有一般要好的工作伙伴?

是钱财多多还是青春永驻?

幸福会逗留多久, 它又何时会来?

会是天长地久或是十一分钟?

会长久不散或是不时出现?

会不会来了又走或是走了回不来?

会不会永远都不来或是自己不让它来?

幸福是真的吗? 它到底存在吗?

你眼前的幸福是真实,还是虚构?

你眼里的幸福和大家一样吗,或是各有所别 ?

你眼看的幸福是是那本人的幸福吗?

你眼看到的 到底是幸福吗?

Friday, October 02, 2009

Curious

 

SENT:

Hi... am very curious... and alittle too much time on my hand.
So wat do u do exactly?
U travelled ard, from one place to another.
Then u write songs... and u perform?
No offence, just curious.
Anyway, have a good trip to jap...
Hope all be well with you.

Ps. am waiting to read " 10 yrs of Xxxxxx Xxxx"

 

REPLY:

This is my transition year - was working in UNICEF in Geneva until January, and I will be starting my PhD next week in Tokyo.
I spent the year travelling, finishing the master's which i have been doing through distance learning since 2007, and also learning Korean which has been necessary for my research (my research topic is related to the country).
As for the music part - this has been what I have been doing on the side since about 10 years ago.

 

 

LATER ON SAW IN FB:

Xxxxxx Xxxx : if curious, check this place out. i am staying in building B of the residence halls. <URL>

 

 

Note:

Just tot it to be funny to see such coincidence in word use. Nothing more… jus for humor… akaka

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Of stories and fairy tales

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved stories. Day in day out, she would pester her mum to bring her to the library, her favorite place. She was only 5.

I was that little girl who loved stories. I adored fairy tales, tales of creatures never seen, stories with twists and adventures, and endings were often happy ones. I remembered reading the entire series of fairy tales at my neighborhood library. Needless to say, my mum was impressed, but she never quite understood why i only loved fairy tales.

Then i moved on to bible stories, they were brilliant! It was as if they were fairy tales, but only they were true! The adults around all said that they were real life accounts. I was elated.

It has been many years, but my love for stories never went away. I have been reading, listening and participating in stories of the people around me. And that is truly my passion.

I stumbled onto a blog, its titled “ Stories that matters”. He too was searching for stories, travelling from one place to another, searching and writing the stories along the way. I am impressed; impressed in doing what he does, in continuing to do what he had began. Becos, i had stopped my search. I wanted to in my own story, and no longer in others only.

It seems like a task too difficult, i stopped struggling and feeling despair. But i am not ready to raise the white flag, not really sure what i am going to do now or how things will turn out… I am sure that i will not surrender and resign myself to compromise. I am trying to put away the recent spate of disappointments and unhappiness, the day i am able to speak to my father without coldness would be the day of my success.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Stories

BIG tots... abt "Stories to Tell - travelling tales for all". Then there is this big idea from reading Marien's novel; obsessions of individuals and their resolutions. Of cos, a novel has to have all her characters linked up... and it showed the good old wisdom of removing root before treatment and the price of a fool.

Read the book.







P.s Too much into the book, now in Marien Keyes's Loly Daly mood!

Sulky

its been quite a few days since i have been sulky, and more considering the days of despair.
One week, just one bloody week i gave myself to wallow and pretend i'm on holiday and relax... stayed offline and managed to stick to my book, no internet no tv and not really a huge progress. Nevertheless, still a step... big step for me.

One book down and quite a few more to go!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Scale of ignorance and power

If ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is power... power for change.

To be more specific,
knowledge is unrealized power,
waiting for the moment to evolve into revelation.
Revelation IS the power to be reckon with.

Monday, September 21, 2009

04:21

This moment is 04:21 or 21st September,
This moment came silently and unexpectedly;
I wasn't waiting for it,
nor had i paid any attention to it.
This moment just came, and froze...

Despair

Despair just eats you alive; it starts from taking in HOPE like someone slurping on their soup starters... licking every drop, polishing you from even a single speckle of anything that resumes HOPE. It moves on like a hungry wolf, pouncing on your senses. Losing your mind, bit by bit, little by little, like a prey completely subdued by its predator... waiting hopelessly, mindlessly for death to come.

Slowly, you will feel nothing, as if your nerves had been removed. You struggle and hurt yourself with intent, hoping pain pain can distract you, thinking feeling pain can wake you, using the pain to prove that you are still alive...

Pathetic.

Monday, September 14, 2009

你 我 他

 

Down you hung yr head, looking to the ground,
With every step you take, you allowed it to be your style.
Casting your glances up, only to see the signs and lifts
before returning back to the cold hard concrete down.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were dressed in blue causal, in jeans with a sling bag as many youths would.
You were barely walking, dragging your feet in the pace of reluctance.
You were going in a direction for the train, leaving for some place called dread.
You caught the lift, finally glancing to see the numeric of 123.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

World I look you in the eye, with glances to the horizons.
Quicken but relaxed were my pace, for this day of light and glory.
Dressed in red blue and a bagful of hope I carry,
I dreamt of an unceasing hope.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am dressed in red blue, with a touch of white and cyan at the ears.
I walk with direction, and a sense of destination.
I quicken my steps, pacing in peace and relief from the weights of world.
I like to share this flora I wear, that brings colors to life and life to lives.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love is all one can see, in the eyes of the he who is able and willing;
wearing that body of scars and stripes, from scourges not his.
Like a beacon in the night, he stands out for you and me.
In the name of an amazing love.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was dressed with blood and scars, but now in white glory.
He was nailed on the cross, but resurrected alive and well.
He sits in Heaven, with eyes upon our every thought.
He is waiting for us, for us to make that call.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

未來我得到的還會有很多, 但失去的,只有你一個。

 

徐佳瑩 失落沙洲


這首創作,是描寫『失去』的一首歌,細微地勾勒情感遠離的惆悵與心酸。一次一場探訪癌 症病童的活動,當時徐佳瑩和參訪者置身於小朋友、家屬和醫護人員中,氣氛熱絡溫馨,其 中一位護理長懇請她現場演唱之前比賽時表演過的「失落沙洲」,這首讓護理長聽了直落淚 的原因,是因為其中一段歌詞「我不是一定要你回來,只是當又把回憶翻開,除了你之外的 空白,還有誰能來教我愛。」深刻地唱出了那些失去孩子們的家長心聲,而這也讓徐佳瑩對 這首歌產生新的體驗。基於各種不同的感受交雜,「失落沙洲」是專輯裡演唱難度最高的一 首歌曲,「雖然初始動機是失去愛情,但在演唱時就會不斷想到那些,也許是失去親人,也 許是失去任何一些重要的東西的人,我貪心的希望它能包含更多的追憶。」
「失落沙洲」開場緩緩流動的弦樂一出,立刻領人進入一股緩慢的哀傷裡,沉靜中盡顯孤寂 ,極具渲染力。在陳建騏老師細細指引下,徐佳瑩以其圓潤清亮的聲線,完美詮釋歌曲中「 面對失去的悲傷」、與「接受失去的遺憾」的思緒轉折。

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

身骑白马

 

這首歌不但傳達了一個平凡女生義無反顧追 求愛情、追求夢想的勇敢與孤獨,也更像是徐佳瑩為了音樂勇往直前孤身北上的真實寫照。

 

 

我爱谁 跨不过 从来也不觉得错                                              自以为 抓着痛 就能往回忆里躲偏执                                       相信着 受诅咒的水晶球 阻挡可能心动的理由  

而你却 靠近了 逼我们视线交错                                              原地不动 或向前走 突然在意这分钟                                        眼前 沙弥漫了等候 耳边传来孱弱的呼救                                 追赶要我 爱的不保留  

我身骑白马 走三关 我改换素衣 回中原                                            放下西凉 无人管 我一心只想 王宝钏  

而你却 靠近了 逼我们视线交错                                              原地不动 或向前走 突然在意这分钟                                       眼前荒沙弥漫了等候 耳边传来孱弱的呼救                               追赶要我 爱的不保留

我身骑白马 走三关 我改换素衣 回中原                                            放下西凉 无人管 我一心只想 王宝钏  

满身伤痕累累也来不及痛 那是指引我走向你的清楚感受                    不管危不危险 都要放下一切跟你走                                                 只要一起承担 只要你不放手

ENFP - The Inspirer

 

You are lucky because you are good at a variety of different things. In general you are successful at things you are interested in, however you do have a tendency to get bored easily and sometimes don't follow things through to completion. You should avoid jobs involving detailed, routine tasks and focus of careers where you have the freedom and flexibility to be creative and interact with other people. You have natural leadership skills without the need to always be in charge. This coupled with your creativity and energy allows you to inspire others and make them willing to work with you. Some of your personality traits include: * Project-oriented * Bright and capable * Warmly, genuinely interested in people; great people skills * Extremely intuitive and perceptive about people * Able to relate to people on their own level * Service-oriented; likely to put the needs of others above your own * Future-oriented * Dislike performing routine tasks * Need approval and appreciation from others * Cooperative and friendly * Creative and energetic * Well-developed verbal and written communication skills * Natural leaders, but do not like to control people * Resist being controlled by others * Can work logically and rationally - use your intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it * Usually able to grasp difficult concepts and theories Some of your suggested careers are: * Consultant * Psychologist * Entrepreneur * Actor * Teacher * Counselor * Politician / Diplomat * Writer / Journalist * Television Reporter * Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, or Computer Specialist * Scientist * Engineer

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Sick Meow

Its been a really long time since i fell ill with fever, thanks to tonsil inflammation! Actually, its my fault lah… had herbal chicken on the same day with roasted pork knuckles, grilled sausage platter and charcoaled pizza… wheat beer from Paulaner seems to make it worse (according to an unverified source). Waking up hourly for water and washing of face to cool myself down was damn tiring, but the discomfort was worse… I’m just glad that i am feeling so much better now.

Was going thru the fridge, to find an apple and a packet of Taiwanese sausages. A moment of brainstorm jumped on me! i made porridge with diced apple and sausages, some seasoning and it turned out not too bad… Hee… Cooking is certainly is one of my fav hobbies… cooking without restrictions and supervision !

Monday, August 17, 2009

Tour guiding experience

Well, as many know that i had to rush to Hanoi on the 6th August to participate in my first tour guiding experience. Its very informal, after all it was an experiment mah…

They were a grp of 4 ladies, delighted am i when i they said i was the youngest amidst them. :) The foursome are quite different, and they came together rather interestingly. Of these four, i only know Teri… she was one of the jie mei i got to know @ estee’s wedding. She got in touch w me, informing me that they will be going Hanoi and i took the chance to play tour guide.

First, i did up a schedule… the items were all in, and the time allocated were quite realistic. One big challenge was i shldnt have gave them options, where alot of amendments had to be made. I shld have been firm. We did cover all the places, but i think i really died in shopping. The weather was killing me, and i think i was too hot for my tolerance to maintain functional.

It was a great trial, cos i felt i did try out something and learnt something… I do have another trip to plan, for my good buddy and her parents! So, this time round i doing up a budgeting for her first, then advise her on the date of my preference. It shld be exciting!

Monday, August 10, 2009

[Hanoi – ing] You must be joking!

God’s favor upon me is like the air that we breathe daily; this trip to Hanoi has not only allow me to have a very minimal tasting of tour guiding, but also allowed me to do major networking and socializing with other Singaporeans here. Of which were the Singapore ambassador for Hanoi, Hungarian ambassador (cant rem of their names :X), Bobby who owns a western dining place which i will definitely visit before i leave, Halia representative where they do up class/fine dining in the paragon area of Hanoi, ppl from an educational centre who asked me i i am interested to do teaching with them…. etc

Er…. ya they must be joking! Me to teach A maths, physics, etc?!! They happily wanna squeeze one class out for me to do trial teaching, and i had beads of perspiration streaming down at the back of my head. Some time later, another asked me if i am interested to teach young children, and i am suspecting the young children refers to her cutie daughter… Yes, boo boo finally accepts me and we are having lotsa fun together, but nannying/baby sitting or tutoring her is a diff story altogether; the fear of letting them down is like the end of the world.

Thanks but no thanks… dun think teaching is for me, i find the email from calvary making more sense at the moment…

Sunday, August 09, 2009

My 2009 National Day experience

Its been a pretty tiring time for me, in the last few days, but tdy has got to be something to blog abt… Help yourselves to the point form events, cos i really no energy to tahan b4 i fall zzz again…

  • Golf with Dad and Hilman @ 0500hrs, barely slept and had to wake up le!
  • On the way to golfing, saw a crowd and realized an accident had just occurred; a young man lying on the ground with his back facing us… in a pool of red blood… his own blood… Really freaked me out and on the spot i gave up any ideas of riding or driving in Vietnam ever!
  • At golf, the heat was melting me as if i was an ice cube. More heat was felt when my Dad kept commenting on the way i prep/play. Hilman felt more buay tahan than me… GRIN
  • On the way back, Hilman gave me tips on stocks and shares and if i wan i really got to quick quick…
  • Lunch was chicken briyani, mutton briyani & Tandoori Chicken! Yummy!
  • Dad had to nap, Hilman had hsechores and i was trying to proof read for someone but ending up zzz too…
  • Another National Day dinner to attending, organized by the Singaporean business association… Met the Ambassador again, v friendly and approachable guy so far.
  • Enjoyed the National Day Parade live telecast, with doing the pledge @ 2022hrs and singing the anthem. Had a few tigers and head for another round of japan food…
  • Finally back in Ciputera… feel like i falling apart…

Got more to write but really buay tahan le…. BBL

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Dun feel good day

Panadol extra came in handy today, the familiar headache made a surprise visit and i can feel my ears burning hot again… Cant really tell if all these were from the pouring rain from the typhoon visiting Hanoi or was it from the glasses of wine and non-stop introduction as Mr KB Lim’s daughter, eldest daughter.

Met alot of ppl, some exchange if name cards took place, and of cos my dad was proud to introduce me to the Singapore ambassador, whom he kept stressing as young handsome and capable.   – . -    You know i dun like to carry a tag that says “so & so” daughter, the ballroom was sucking life outta me…

Heard something that i would like not to hear; something confirming my fears which i cannot do anything but plan to run away to some other parts of the world, feeling tired of being a egg mayo filling.

Dun understand why dad and Hillman so enthu abt watching Money Not Enuff II movie once we came back from the red white dinner; Its kinda funny, but it reminded me alot of my grandma. I rem the exact scene where i saw my grandma lying motionless on the hospital bed. Sadly, we could relate to many of the ending scenes from my grandpa’s passing and my recent grandma’s demise.

I guess i am too exhausted from such a long day, looking forward to visit fren in Sydney and maybe hiding in NZ or xxx…

Saturday, August 01, 2009

G.o.o.h

 

Concealed is the glow, beneath the dry sticks and leaves

Brewing in the skies, and stirrings in the winds

A fire awaits the bursting of flames,

consuming everything that stands in its ways.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

** COKE

Enough horsing ard with the facebook apps, i shld be getting straight to biz and do up the tasks at hand. But i think i shld let off some steam before the pressure eats me alive. There are many wonderful things to blog abt;

- The time in Hanoi, a different feeling/mood.

- The unexpected surprise Nanning gave me.

- The importance of  moving on constantly, and improving/developing myself.

- Freedom is something everyone wants, and all are looking to escape from their unsatisfied life/lifestyle… and that includes my parents…

Then there is the unexpected twist in Lian and Ting’s situations, not to mention Fang’s possibility in changing the heading of her course… which so far is the best news :)

But the thing that drove me to Mac for a upsized coke and wireless SG to blog is none other than my head almost turning into a pressure cooker that is cooking my brains and eating me alive.

I rem once upon a time my addiction to CocaCola drove my family nuts, and family frens were rallied into tell me their life stories on coke addiction. Maybe it was that time, my reliance on cocaine developed bah… ok lah… now i only taking small dosage of it in panadol extra :X  just kidding… hee…

After resigning, i am subjected to stay home and not run anywhere rule, by order of Mrs Lim. Then i have to subject my time and schedule, my plans to Mr Lim… who doesnt seems to have a clue what he wants me to do… He gave 2 tasks, but with incomplete information to properly execute anything. No problem, we handled such situation everyday in the last 9 yrs. I took it in my stride and did whatever i could, pacifying and fighting fire as we go along.

But what he did last night really upset me, i dun mind if you have no plans for me. I was the one who resigned, so if u think this is a mess, then i will settle this mess myself. I am not waiting for handouts of tasks to do to survive.

I told my fren i made a choice, and i intend to keep it. Since i will not go US/Aussie/anywhere, unless i have your blessings. But at least let me do what i want to do in Sg. I can plan for myself. Yes, i may be confused and lost right now, but i believe after sorting out i will figure something out

Someone asked me why do i have to be right all the time, do the right thing, make the right choice, why this mentality? Becoz my own family dun tolerate failure or mistakes, for every mistake or wrong or failure it will be stuck to me forever and my family will bite on it never letting it. Now i dun want to let go of my past failures, is they keep reminding me.

Home is suppose to be a place of rest and comfort, but blk 133 is more of a pressure chamber to me right now.

 

I need another coke.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Not doing anything vs initiative vs rash

Someone once praised me for having initiative and even said that i will amount to some great thing, he was dead sure.

Now i am not that sure any more. I cant put my finger one me being initiative or being rash. Somehow i began to feel that i am either on the not doing anything part of the scale or the other extreme end of rash… Many talked abt mine impatience, rather than initiative. When i took my time to consider, they said that i am not doing anything, and even deem that i am lost.

In the midst of making decisions, i rarely care what ppl say, but it was the aftermath comments that really get to me. Its fine if ppl dun see the way i see, or agree with my ways. I dun need to you to understand me, but i really dun need your accusations.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

In our final episode of “ The Land of Thousand Scams ”

Today is the 8th July 2009, weather in Bangkok has been unpredictable with showers of rain getting heavier towards the end of our 4Ds 3Ns Bangkok escapade; where it also marked the end of an expensive educational experience. Shall i share my experience?

Lesson 1: Greed is dangerous.

Lesson 2: Learn to live by the peace that in within myself.

Lesson 3: Getting upset and worrying does not help.

Lesson 4: Ask for help, do not hesitate.

Lesson 5: Everyone rest on public holidays, including the Thai Police.

Lesson 6: Need to have a bigger heart to live in the world today.

Lesson 7: There are good and not so good ppl everywhere, Thailand is not the only place with scams.

Lesson 8: Once the heading is determined, be firm.

Lesson 9: Respect myself. Cannot everything also never mind; have to be accountable to ppl, also must accountable to myself… cannot ignore myself all the time… no wonder i am always upset with myself…

Lesson 10: Citibank in different countries are like different banks in different countries. International bank? BLEAH!

Lesson 11: Cash deposit Machines in Citibank Bangkok cannot read Citibank Cards issued by Citibank Singapore. Even manual deposit is complicated; Needs a receipt to show where the money for deposit comes from/payslip, Need exact address of Bank and branch in singapore with SWIFT code, etc….

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

PUBLIC HOLIDAY AGAIN?!!!

Touched down on sunday morning and all the cab drivers and tuk tuks have been telling me that this whole week is holiday, and my first tot was : “WTF… everyday is holiday in BKK ah!”

After failing to make contact with the government offices and embassy yesterday, it was my plan to march down to their office tis morning. However, i was prompted to continue to call this morning again, before i raze their grounds. Still, no one is answering calls… Sigh… thai side not responding to phone call is not that surprising, but Sg Embassy?!! Sigh… Sg Embassy has nv sat well with me, they nv ever offer real help to the Sg citizens since my first overseas trips…

Anyway, before is set off, i was prompted to ask the reception abt depositing money to CitiBank. I was surprised to find out that i can only bank in Baht cash at the 1 and only Citibank office in Bangkok. Then they told me that today is a special day, and becos of this special day, its public holiday since Monday all the way to Wednesday… Many offices are closed till Thursday morning. Only some banks will be resuming operations on Wednesday morning. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oki… that explains the DIT office and Sg Embassy not responding… but still… argh… So, Plan B was to make a police report after lunch and get the scammers to come down the police station to settle the issue… it seems to be a safer option than going down the scamming territory… And so the journey began…

It took me 30mins to try locate a nearest bank for me to do money order to Sg, so i wun have to worry carrying much cash with me. Then only to realize no banks are doing money orders unless its their HQ,… no choice, i decided to just go to the police and bank in the money on wed morning @ the Citibank HQ. Thai ppl are very nice, but all the direction giving were nt exactly accurate and i ended up walking round and round for an hour before locating the bloody police station.

Stepping in, the thai police was extremely not good in english and keep taking my map and looking at dunno wat… unable to communicate, he brought me to a nearby counter where more ppl were… a few ppl went in and another few man came out… finally they managed a few words of english… and those were this :" Public holiday, closed… thursday open… come back on thurs…”

WTF #!$#%^&*^%$#@$%^&*(&^ The Royal Thai Police HQ is closed, the Tourist Police is closed, ALL CLOSED TODAY! What in the world is this?!! Police is close on public holiday?!! POLICE IS A BUSINESS OPERATION AH!!!! CLOSE ON PUBLIC HOLIDAY?!! WOW LAU EH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGRY LEH!!!!! WHERE GOT LIKE TAT DE!!!!!!

I have decided now, tmw i will take a cab down to the scamming shop, with my mum in cab, waiting outside… i will go in myself to get the bloody money back! WTF… police is another business trade here in bangkok, indeed this is the land of scams… i’m sorry… shld be LAND OF SCAMMERS!!! cos police is their support division!

But really thank God that he prompted me to keep making calls and put off going down the office personally; The DIT office is far and secluded, and it might be a problem trying to get back to hotel or civilization. Thank God that i no make waste trips to the Embassy, cos the area might just as well be a dead town when the banks and commercial area are closed.

Toda Raba Yahwah… Toda!

Monday, July 06, 2009

Almost wanna give up

I think i almost wanna let it go, but coming tis far to Bangkok and leaving empty handed was definitely something i cant account to myself… In feeling bad, i decided to do a more thorough research…

Seems like no choice have to go a few places, and it doesn't necessarily include going down to the remote DIT office, which is out of my Bangkok map… I am skeptical abt the Sg Embassy, but better than not trying…

Plan for 07 07 09:

  1. Make report to Tourist Police, need document for Citibank for waive-ing of interest for the gem payments.
  2. Singapore Embassy (Not sure go which one first though… maybe before go TA is a better idea?) Dunno tell them wat also… sigh…
  3. If TA doesn't help us to contact Erawan Lapidary, or even to DIT… Depending on the time,if 3pm then i going to block hired a cab, so that he will wait for me outside, then after to Citibank to bank in the payment.
  4. Go meet my dear mum for dinner.

i really wonder how smoothly all these will go… my heart is pounding by the second… even at this very moment…

GAMBATE!!!!!!!!

Project RunAway @ 30a

Hahaha... think the number 30 is really bothering me, bothering me to make a change from a life which makes me think of a 100 reasons to stay alive from the moment i wake up each day...

A life of uncertainty is also not easy... worries and fears are flooding me as if its a Noah ark's remake! Now, that i had taken the first step, i think i might as well let it loose… Let’s see where it leads me…

Stopover 01 - Bangkok

Ok, i think i rest my case... i'll stop calling Thailand the land of scams and scums, its not the entire country's fault that i am this predicament... Like my fren said, greed for easy money was our downfall...

So now, here i am in Citin Pratunam Hotel... on my bed... with my new lappy... no imaginations please... its just a all white scenery... NICE RITE! Alamak... i said scenery not in sanitarium lah...

Here's the big plan:
  1. Call DIT see how they can help us and then see if need to go log report to tourist (dun think need bah).
  2. Go breakfast with my mum, she deserves to be treated like a queen... maybe her majesty would like some dim sum ? hmm... i'll zzz on it
  3. Escort her to Platinum Mall, and give her the hotel name card. Oh yeah, must make sure she bring her phone manz... before i leave for DIT, shld DIT is willing to help me out...
  4. Go DIT. Log report. Meet Erawan Lapidary rep. GET BACK $.
  5. Meet mummy for dinner.
  6. Bring her go wash hair or see movie.
  7. Back to hotel and rest.
  8. Enjoy the 7th and 8th July 09.

Dear all u ppl who are reading, do pray for us...

  1. For favor that DIT will want to help me, and grants me assistance without having to make another appointment on another time or another month etc.
  2. May God come forth and get back the full 100% amount for me. (To be 100% frank, if its me alone to go get back $... i also worry i not able to get back any $ at all... sigh)
  3. Protection and safety throughout the whole Bangkok trip and Vietnam trip, and all our travellings.
  4. My mum's health... the travelling taking a toil on her, cos of not enuff zzz and her own medical conditions.
  5. Pray that we will not meet any more scams, or lose anything or forget anything, nothing will be stolen or rob from us etc... completed divine protection from Yahwah.
  6. Pray for me, for shalom and no scare. Perfect love cast out all fears! Amen?!! *deep breathe* i dun wanna drama or ugly situation 2 get back $... its no good for our soul and minds.
  7. Pray for my mum to experience only happy and no sad or angry for this thai-viet trip.

* Abba,
all this i rest in yr hands...
May you bless and keep us,
in wholeness and safety,
from worry and fear,
from harm and deceit,
from sickness and diseases;
May yr grace and miracles follow us thru.
In Yahwah's name... Amen.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

KEO GAMBATE DEUS !!!

Dearest fren,

Think going to miss you quite abit... and mostly likely will be stalking yr blog and yr facebook to see how you are doing... i look forward to praying for the both of us each day; rem the crossing over of 2007 and 2008? We both felt that things will be different, and look at us now... We've spent the last 2 crossing over together, not sure we'll have the chance to do so for the 3rd consecutive... but i am sure we will see other soon enough :)

Jia you and enjoy oki... u still complain to me via skype and webcam-ing... hee.... and i would still be yr no.1 audience and fan... :)

P.s U're more cool than S.H.E k.... : X hehehe