This is my brand new day starting now
I let go the things that weigh me down
And rob me of the beauty that’s to be found in life all around
And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above my burden is easing
CHORUS
I bring the pure flow LIKE water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me down
I bring the pure flow drink so deep
The river of life my soul at ease
I bring the pure flow of water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me downI
bring the pure flow rising above
The storms of life to live and love
This is my brand new day in the light
Troubles rising up on the left and the right
I keep my eyes fixed on where I want to go
The rest will follow
And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above my burden is easy?
CHORUS
This is my brand new day starting now
Letting go of the ways that I fall down
The old can be made new the lost can be found
The lost will be found
And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above my burden is easy?
CHORUS
My soul is at ease and I am free
My soul is at ease and I am free
This is my day
My soul is at ease and I am free
I am free?
CHORUS
Behind the Song:
揗ax and Matt wrote this song after watching a snowboarding show on TV. When you are focused and in the flow of things, you have a good run and everything just glides past. That's how it is with our lives when we are focused on God. You are in the pure flow, and life just flows around you.? - Melissa Brock (Superchick)
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Big Boss & Tug Boat
On a sunny island in the east, there is a wharf where many ships and boats come from far and wide. Like any other normal days, there are big and small vessals crowding the place. In a small corner, floats 2 of the most special vessals of the whole wharf... They are special becos they belong to the owner of the wharf, they are the Big Boss's fav boats in the whole area. The first boat is a white yacht, with beautiful blue and golden outlines... <BELOVED> is its name. And the other is a tugboat... and its called <LOVE>. Though it had no blue and golden outlines, but it was a magnificent vessal which draws all attention.
One day, there was trouble at the wharf, and the whole place was in chaos. All the wharf's tugboats were either damaged or inadequate. The wharf was in desperate need of help, and the Big Boss decides to loan out his precious tugboat to solve the problem. As much as He loves the tugboat, this precious keepsake, but he had to look at the big picture... The need to straighten out the wharf was more impt.
From that day on <LOVE> went down to the wharf, and followed the master plan that the Big Boss had drawn out to not only restore but to make the wharf a better place where trouble will cease to hap again.
As <BELOVED> watched <LOVE> worked, all sorts of thots were building in its heart. First it tot that Big Boss had forgot abt itself, then it felt that He didnt like itself anymore. There were tots that churned up by itself that it was incapability etc... all sorts of negative things jus kept pouring into this little boat. Finally, it could not take it any more and it decides to imitate <LOVE> and sails out to pull in a few vessals. But a yacht was not meant for such purposes, and <BELOVED> was towed back instead. <BELOVED> was embarassed and felt he had shamed. Most of all, the little boat was hurted, it was really afriad and upset that it was not able to help Big Boss or <LOVE>, instead it had made things worse.
<BELOVED> felt that itself was hopeless and jus stay afloat in its corner... Whenever, Big Boss sends ppl to check on the little one or to do some maintenace, the little yacht would refused to start its engine, nor stay still for the workers to work on. As time goes by, a type of terrible seaweed call condemnation grew speedily on the little thing. It affect not only the outlook of the boat, but also the engine when the seaweeds entangle its propellor. The once beautiful yacht was now in shambles.
Big Boss couldnt bear to see its <BELOVED> in such a state, and went down to it personally. He sat beside the little boat on the wharf, until it was sun set... Then it was dark, and suddenly a storm came forth. The storm was fierce and heavy and the little one was filled with fear and despair. Then it heard someone said," Shhhhh... calm down little one, do not be afraid... I am here." With these words, the yacht lit up... It was Big Boss... He rolled up his sleeves to tidy the place, and made a small fire to warm the place. Then the storm went off.
Big Boss sat down and said to his <BELOVED>:
You are my <BELOVED>, and you will always be my precious BELOVED, yesterday, today and forever more. When you are in my wharf, you are like in my arms where i shelter you from storms and trouble. You are my previous little yacht, and my purpose for you is of fun and joy. Do not compare yourself with yr brother <LOVE>, the tugboat has it own purposes and it is here to serve you. Whenever you are lost or in need of help, <LOVE> is here to guide you home to me... to this wharf corner where i have specially prepared for you. This is not an unwanted corner for you to be left forgotten. But a place at my right hand where i can always see you and keep you protected from storm and ppl. Do not worry, do not fear becos I AM HERE.
One day, there was trouble at the wharf, and the whole place was in chaos. All the wharf's tugboats were either damaged or inadequate. The wharf was in desperate need of help, and the Big Boss decides to loan out his precious tugboat to solve the problem. As much as He loves the tugboat, this precious keepsake, but he had to look at the big picture... The need to straighten out the wharf was more impt.
From that day on <LOVE> went down to the wharf, and followed the master plan that the Big Boss had drawn out to not only restore but to make the wharf a better place where trouble will cease to hap again.
As <BELOVED> watched <LOVE> worked, all sorts of thots were building in its heart. First it tot that Big Boss had forgot abt itself, then it felt that He didnt like itself anymore. There were tots that churned up by itself that it was incapability etc... all sorts of negative things jus kept pouring into this little boat. Finally, it could not take it any more and it decides to imitate <LOVE> and sails out to pull in a few vessals. But a yacht was not meant for such purposes, and <BELOVED> was towed back instead. <BELOVED> was embarassed and felt he had shamed. Most of all, the little boat was hurted, it was really afriad and upset that it was not able to help Big Boss or <LOVE>, instead it had made things worse.
<BELOVED> felt that itself was hopeless and jus stay afloat in its corner... Whenever, Big Boss sends ppl to check on the little one or to do some maintenace, the little yacht would refused to start its engine, nor stay still for the workers to work on. As time goes by, a type of terrible seaweed call condemnation grew speedily on the little thing. It affect not only the outlook of the boat, but also the engine when the seaweeds entangle its propellor. The once beautiful yacht was now in shambles.
Big Boss couldnt bear to see its <BELOVED> in such a state, and went down to it personally. He sat beside the little boat on the wharf, until it was sun set... Then it was dark, and suddenly a storm came forth. The storm was fierce and heavy and the little one was filled with fear and despair. Then it heard someone said," Shhhhh... calm down little one, do not be afraid... I am here." With these words, the yacht lit up... It was Big Boss... He rolled up his sleeves to tidy the place, and made a small fire to warm the place. Then the storm went off.
Big Boss sat down and said to his <BELOVED>:
You are my <BELOVED>, and you will always be my precious BELOVED, yesterday, today and forever more. When you are in my wharf, you are like in my arms where i shelter you from storms and trouble. You are my previous little yacht, and my purpose for you is of fun and joy. Do not compare yourself with yr brother <LOVE>, the tugboat has it own purposes and it is here to serve you. Whenever you are lost or in need of help, <LOVE> is here to guide you home to me... to this wharf corner where i have specially prepared for you. This is not an unwanted corner for you to be left forgotten. But a place at my right hand where i can always see you and keep you protected from storm and ppl. Do not worry, do not fear becos I AM HERE.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
KIND & GENTLES!!!!!!!!
What type of personality do you have?
Here is the analysis:
Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people
respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.
[AMEN AMEN AMEN!!! ^_^]
Here is the analysis:
Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people
respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.
[AMEN AMEN AMEN!!! ^_^]
The Real Me?
Here is the analysis:
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.
My God, The one who loves me so...
Do you know that someone loves you very much, to the extend that he gave his life in exchange for you to be freed, to be righteous, to be redemned, to be prosperous, to be happy, to be blessed...???
Many many many many years ago, God sent his Son down to earth and live as man. His name is call Jesus. He came down in the form of mankind, to die for us on the cross so that we may be able to return to God's side. His death, not only redemned us from curses and the law, the law of self efforts to gain recognition and receive wat is fit for as in accordance to wat we can do. But this law only magnifies our weakness and inability to fulfill the requirements.
Thus, God sent Jesus to come among us and teach us, and to die for us. Upon the death of Christ on the cross, by the blood he shed and all that he suffered were for us. That all he carried, so that we may have the opposite. He is cursed that we may be bless, He is put to death that we may live. The unthinkable thing is, God planned for all these courses of actions and event to take place, to show us how much he loves us.
If only you know how much God loves you... life will never be the same.
The love that is wider than the sky, higher than the universe and deeper than any ocean.
What would you lose to hear out of this love, and gift of salvation for you?
i beseech you to give yourself a chance, a chance to an abundant life, a chance to be deeply loved and cared for, a chance to be highly favoured by the KING of Kings and LORD of Lords.
Many many many many years ago, God sent his Son down to earth and live as man. His name is call Jesus. He came down in the form of mankind, to die for us on the cross so that we may be able to return to God's side. His death, not only redemned us from curses and the law, the law of self efforts to gain recognition and receive wat is fit for as in accordance to wat we can do. But this law only magnifies our weakness and inability to fulfill the requirements.
Thus, God sent Jesus to come among us and teach us, and to die for us. Upon the death of Christ on the cross, by the blood he shed and all that he suffered were for us. That all he carried, so that we may have the opposite. He is cursed that we may be bless, He is put to death that we may live. The unthinkable thing is, God planned for all these courses of actions and event to take place, to show us how much he loves us.
If only you know how much God loves you... life will never be the same.
The love that is wider than the sky, higher than the universe and deeper than any ocean.
What would you lose to hear out of this love, and gift of salvation for you?
i beseech you to give yourself a chance, a chance to an abundant life, a chance to be deeply loved and cared for, a chance to be highly favoured by the KING of Kings and LORD of Lords.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Song Lyrics: "Who am I"
Artist: Casting crowns
Song: Who am I lyrics
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours, I am Yours.
I am Yours,
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,I am Yours.
Song: Who am I lyrics
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am...
I am Yours, I am Yours.
I am Yours,
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,I am Yours.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Giving Thanks!
I guess... most of you shld already know by now that i have officially received my promotion notification letter, and it states an increment of a 3 digit amt. PRAISE GOD!
But to be really frank, i was a little disappointed at the amt stated in it. Cos i had spoken to my boss previously, and he was speaking of an amt more than wat i am stated to receive now. Well, i guess its part of God's plan.
Not that God is not willing to prosper me, i believe that God will not bless me with things that i cannot handle and be burdened with it. Truth is, with the increment i have in mind, i guess i will go into a frenzy thinking that $$$ is more than abundant and start splurging... possible to an extend of running high debts. God is good to teach me to manage my finances now... It has really been a long while since i last had any significant savings. And now i am quite comfortable with my finances... Its heading somewhere now.
Blessings of prosperity will come, in the name of Jesus i receive!!! ^_^
Now i am really thinking deep deep if i need a car... read carefully... its THINKING if i would NEED a car, its no longer if i wanna get a car. Ya, now will think farther liaoz... Cos have to maintain a holiday vacation lifestyle of going overseas. If got biz trip i confirm volunteer to go, cos can save $$$. Else my holiday trips will have to downsize budget liaoz... This year will be taipei again, then maybe New Zealand... Europe might have to push to next yr, else it will be a year of bread and butter...
Maybe i shld go overseas alone... then maybe got chance to meet some ppl and make new frens? But then, it will be quite lonely??? No one to talk to, then stay hotel room all alone sounds pretty pathetic leh... Unless i go stay backpackers' inn... tat one think will get to meet more ppl bah, and hopefully learn to communicate with ppl and truely learn how to get along with others. I also dunno wat i wanna see, but i do know tat i would like to have a try at living their lifestyle...
OH YAH!, my fren say wanna go join AMAZING RACE!!! Hmm.. if audition goes thru, then i think it would really be fun...Let's hope we can get thru the audition, and my leave application for 1 mth and most of all, win that USD 100,000 bucks!!!
hehehehe.... looks like i will be having a good dream later huh.... kekekeke
Great is yr faithfulness, great is yr mercies and great is yr grace unto me...
I Praise you my lord and king! AMEN!!!
But to be really frank, i was a little disappointed at the amt stated in it. Cos i had spoken to my boss previously, and he was speaking of an amt more than wat i am stated to receive now. Well, i guess its part of God's plan.
Not that God is not willing to prosper me, i believe that God will not bless me with things that i cannot handle and be burdened with it. Truth is, with the increment i have in mind, i guess i will go into a frenzy thinking that $$$ is more than abundant and start splurging... possible to an extend of running high debts. God is good to teach me to manage my finances now... It has really been a long while since i last had any significant savings. And now i am quite comfortable with my finances... Its heading somewhere now.
Blessings of prosperity will come, in the name of Jesus i receive!!! ^_^
Now i am really thinking deep deep if i need a car... read carefully... its THINKING if i would NEED a car, its no longer if i wanna get a car. Ya, now will think farther liaoz... Cos have to maintain a holiday vacation lifestyle of going overseas. If got biz trip i confirm volunteer to go, cos can save $$$. Else my holiday trips will have to downsize budget liaoz... This year will be taipei again, then maybe New Zealand... Europe might have to push to next yr, else it will be a year of bread and butter...
Maybe i shld go overseas alone... then maybe got chance to meet some ppl and make new frens? But then, it will be quite lonely??? No one to talk to, then stay hotel room all alone sounds pretty pathetic leh... Unless i go stay backpackers' inn... tat one think will get to meet more ppl bah, and hopefully learn to communicate with ppl and truely learn how to get along with others. I also dunno wat i wanna see, but i do know tat i would like to have a try at living their lifestyle...
OH YAH!, my fren say wanna go join AMAZING RACE!!! Hmm.. if audition goes thru, then i think it would really be fun...Let's hope we can get thru the audition, and my leave application for 1 mth and most of all, win that USD 100,000 bucks!!!
hehehehe.... looks like i will be having a good dream later huh.... kekekeke
Great is yr faithfulness, great is yr mercies and great is yr grace unto me...
I Praise you my lord and king! AMEN!!!
Saturday, February 25, 2006
I.N.F.L.U.E.N.C.E.
A certain modern day police drama was showing how her undercover subordinate was upset over her not fulfilling her promise to him for pulling him out of the assignment. He felt that his covering was going to be blown. He was fearing for his life. But she was adamant in her decision, they were only that close to nailing the bad guy. In the end, his cover was blown and died a gruesome death. As for the female superior, she was the first to spot his corpse amidst a rundown setting. She was stunned and regretful.
In the drama, it showed how one's influence can determine the outcome of another. In the show, the lady's decision caused his death indirectly. Likewise, the words we speak and the things we do, does affect the ppl ard us... It does also carry the power of influence. There is always 2 sides to a coin, and like weapons... this power can be used for encouragement & affirmation or death & destruction.
We all have influences over the ppl ard us, its just that we are unaware of it. For some, its more evident and others not so.
The words of others something we do not have control over, but we do have the power to control what we hear/listen and take in. Take heart in what u hear and accept, for not all that you have heard is true, and if its true, it may not be the TRUTH. For a man reaps what he sows, what you listen and take into your heart is a form of sowing. I have chosen to hear/listen to TRUTHS in expectations of reaping an abundant life.
In the drama, it showed how one's influence can determine the outcome of another. In the show, the lady's decision caused his death indirectly. Likewise, the words we speak and the things we do, does affect the ppl ard us... It does also carry the power of influence. There is always 2 sides to a coin, and like weapons... this power can be used for encouragement & affirmation or death & destruction.
We all have influences over the ppl ard us, its just that we are unaware of it. For some, its more evident and others not so.
The words of others something we do not have control over, but we do have the power to control what we hear/listen and take in. Take heart in what u hear and accept, for not all that you have heard is true, and if its true, it may not be the TRUTH. For a man reaps what he sows, what you listen and take into your heart is a form of sowing. I have chosen to hear/listen to TRUTHS in expectations of reaping an abundant life.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Ok, think you are right....
I have always believed that i am not a person who worries. To me, worrying is usually a person who uses his/her brain very extensively, trying to consider all factors on an overly done manner. I have to admit, i dun feel that way abt myself... I dun feel that i use my brain that extensively, nor am i tat meticulous to consider all factors accessing situations or events or for the assignments that i have to complete. Ok lar... in short, i jus dun think that i got use my brain lah...
Seems like you are right lor, i used my brain in the wrong way... Think too much then start pressure myself to do the things that i think i am suppose to be able to do. I fall short of my own expectations; which is a slightly higher level where i know if i am able to satisfy my own expectations, others would be satisfied. Then the usual vicious cycle begins...
So bottom line is... I do worry and i recognized tat. So something has to be done.
Thank you Jesus for the blood you have shed on the cross, for by your blood has redeemed me from ALL transgressions... regardless of past, present or future. Thank you Lord that you have also redeemed me from all stress and worries. In the Name of Christ Jesus, spirit of fear... spirit of stress and worry you have no place in my life. From this moment forth the only spirit that is to reign in me is the Holy Spirit of God~!
For by the words of God, i am a new creation and i belong to the new convenant, the good covenant, the convenant of grace. A covenant that is cut between the God the Father and his Perfect Son, Jesus. The convenant that has justly satisfied and replaced the ministry of death! Lord, i give you praise and i thank you that i am in this new convenant.Thank you Jesus that i am RIGHTEOUS in YOU!
In the Name of Jesus,
AMEN!!!
Seems like you are right lor, i used my brain in the wrong way... Think too much then start pressure myself to do the things that i think i am suppose to be able to do. I fall short of my own expectations; which is a slightly higher level where i know if i am able to satisfy my own expectations, others would be satisfied. Then the usual vicious cycle begins...
So bottom line is... I do worry and i recognized tat. So something has to be done.
Thank you Jesus for the blood you have shed on the cross, for by your blood has redeemed me from ALL transgressions... regardless of past, present or future. Thank you Lord that you have also redeemed me from all stress and worries. In the Name of Christ Jesus, spirit of fear... spirit of stress and worry you have no place in my life. From this moment forth the only spirit that is to reign in me is the Holy Spirit of God~!
For by the words of God, i am a new creation and i belong to the new convenant, the good covenant, the convenant of grace. A covenant that is cut between the God the Father and his Perfect Son, Jesus. The convenant that has justly satisfied and replaced the ministry of death! Lord, i give you praise and i thank you that i am in this new convenant.Thank you Jesus that i am RIGHTEOUS in YOU!
In the Name of Jesus,
AMEN!!!
Life after 6 bottles... of diff beer
眼前一片朦朧﹐
自音突然加亮﹐
腦袋有點重﹐
四肢也有稍微的不聽使喚。。。
自音突然加亮﹐
腦袋有點重﹐
四肢也有稍微的不聽使喚。。。
感覺飄飄然﹐ 但意識還是清醒的
這! ...
就是喝多了得症狀。。。
Monday, February 13, 2006
悶。。。門。。。捫。。。悶!!!
Thinking dun seems to be a good hobby after all, it usually ends up putting obstacles between you and the things u wan; stretching it to a farther distance. Arghhh... who was the fellow who told me that i must think long and good and hard before doing anything?!!!
Been meeting up with ppl whom i have not met for long long long time...
ex-classmates, ex-schoolmates, ex-church mates, ex-coworkers... a lot of ex...
(itchy backside... also saw ex bf and wife pic... )
Initially, i am really lamenting abt how ppl had changed... to me they seems to have changed for the better, whereas i am still the same as before... as if time has never left. BUT its already 2006!!! and i am already xx yrs old!!! How can i the same???!!! Failure man...... :*(
Then after meeting up with those ex- so & so, i discovered that i did change...
My brain now seems to function in blank mode, IT's CONSTANTLY BLANK!!!
I really dunno if it’s a good or bad thing, good in a way that i am constantly aware that i cannot handle life alone, and i really need supernatural help. As for the con side (popcorn yr head lah.... its disadvantages lah...), I really feel very helpless, i seem to have lost all abilities to react and the inability to concentrate/focus.
Imagine there is a Surprise birthday party lying in wait for the star, with all of us frens hiding. The moment has come, the door opens and she steps in... Everyone jumps out shouting "Surprise!!!" & "Happy Birthday!" The atmosphere is great! And the highlight of the night is brought out... A superb birthday cake is brightly lit with candle sparkles, everyone starts singing the song of the nite... Then suddenly, "BOOM!" The cake holder trips and fell... smashing the cake onto the ground. Qn: What is your first reaction?
My answer in the past was to rush to the cake holder who tripped and fell to check how she is or start giving orders to turn on the lights. But now... i think i am more like to be dumbfounded on the spot rather than jumping into action, like b4...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I dun like tat.
As i quiet myself down to blog, i suddenly dun understand why i am so bogged down by these... No, i'm NOT getting senile! Have no idea, but the picture became so clear... I'm just worrying... Worrying for things that are not that important, stressing myself out over not meeting the expectations i have on myself?
OH! SO it’s another case of thinking too much?!!
@#$#$%%^$&*)(*&^%$#@
One thing i did learn though, i am helpless to the things to alot of things, 99.99% of everything... There is no answers i can offer to satisfy anyone, with the exception that Jesus is the answer for all your questions and needs... I have zero ability to help anyone, with the exception of offering my silent company. The only thing i can do nowadays is to pray and ask God to intervene...
Hmm... that din sound too bad after all huh?
Been meeting up with ppl whom i have not met for long long long time...
ex-classmates, ex-schoolmates, ex-church mates, ex-coworkers... a lot of ex...
(itchy backside... also saw ex bf and wife pic... )
Initially, i am really lamenting abt how ppl had changed... to me they seems to have changed for the better, whereas i am still the same as before... as if time has never left. BUT its already 2006!!! and i am already xx yrs old!!! How can i the same???!!! Failure man...... :*(
Then after meeting up with those ex- so & so, i discovered that i did change...
My brain now seems to function in blank mode, IT's CONSTANTLY BLANK!!!
I really dunno if it’s a good or bad thing, good in a way that i am constantly aware that i cannot handle life alone, and i really need supernatural help. As for the con side (popcorn yr head lah.... its disadvantages lah...), I really feel very helpless, i seem to have lost all abilities to react and the inability to concentrate/focus.
Imagine there is a Surprise birthday party lying in wait for the star, with all of us frens hiding. The moment has come, the door opens and she steps in... Everyone jumps out shouting "Surprise!!!" & "Happy Birthday!" The atmosphere is great! And the highlight of the night is brought out... A superb birthday cake is brightly lit with candle sparkles, everyone starts singing the song of the nite... Then suddenly, "BOOM!" The cake holder trips and fell... smashing the cake onto the ground. Qn: What is your first reaction?
My answer in the past was to rush to the cake holder who tripped and fell to check how she is or start giving orders to turn on the lights. But now... i think i am more like to be dumbfounded on the spot rather than jumping into action, like b4...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I dun like tat.
As i quiet myself down to blog, i suddenly dun understand why i am so bogged down by these... No, i'm NOT getting senile! Have no idea, but the picture became so clear... I'm just worrying... Worrying for things that are not that important, stressing myself out over not meeting the expectations i have on myself?
OH! SO it’s another case of thinking too much?!!
@#$#$%%^$&*)(*&^%$#@
One thing i did learn though, i am helpless to the things to alot of things, 99.99% of everything... There is no answers i can offer to satisfy anyone, with the exception that Jesus is the answer for all your questions and needs... I have zero ability to help anyone, with the exception of offering my silent company. The only thing i can do nowadays is to pray and ask God to intervene...
Hmm... that din sound too bad after all huh?
Sunday, January 22, 2006
My Fav Song... Fav oldie...
Have always been listening to english oldies, since young... cos my parents like. And gradually, i became quite fascinated with them. Here is one song i love to play just before i sleep...
FLY ME TO THE MOON
----------------------------
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
FLY ME TO THE MOON
----------------------------
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Looking back at 2005
Actually i did learn and found out abt alot of things in the past year that had jus gone by... Maybe i will just break it into a few posts to relieve you from a lengthy essay.
I'm not sure if i had ever posted anything of similar content, but i do feel very strongly abt wat i am going to share. It was a tedious journey, and a mentally & emotionally drawing experience. Experiencing a down time in life may be more than just a simple obstacle that one can struggle thru. Some ppl take it too hard and they just stay down forever. I attempted to stay down when i met with an obstacle that i felt i could no longer handle. Be it mentally, emotionally or even physically... i can no longer fight it. Like everyone else, i chose to run from it. In the midst of it all, i did all i can to forget, to erase the memory of it, as if the situation/problem would be erased as well. And one day, i succeeded. But....
Without the piece of memory, my life was empty. Gone were all the memories, all good and bad, lest they remind me of the pain. But gone were also my passion and purpose...
I tried to filled that emptiness that was left behind from removing the certain memory, and it created such a big space which was alot bigger than i had expected. Then not long after, i began to search for a resolution the life i can no longer tolerate. And i learnt that sometimes desperation can also give one the courage they need.
Finally, the quest to regain the lost memory began.
And i found it back, after some bumps and bruises. The moment the memories were awoken, the pain was excruciating. Everything flooded back like a tsunami that slap me in the face. Like a broken doll, l just lay there. All i could muster was a prayer, God heard me and took me into his arms... and nursed me back. Even now as i speak, i'm still not in tip top condition yet. But i have no fears, cos God is not done with me yet.
What i am trying to say was, despite all the trouble i went thru to forget and bury my hurts, they didnt disappear or recover. And when i had succeeded in forgetting, i embarked on the journey to recover the forgotten part. Once u are determine to recover the lost memories, u will find them and the pain will not lessen. This cycle caused me 2 yrs of my time. Although, i did not regret that i had wasted 2 yrs of my time, and i was more prepared to "dress the wound", i just like to say that not everyone has to learn the hard way that i did. Pls dun be like me... time is too precious to be wasted like tat...
I'm not sure if i had ever posted anything of similar content, but i do feel very strongly abt wat i am going to share. It was a tedious journey, and a mentally & emotionally drawing experience. Experiencing a down time in life may be more than just a simple obstacle that one can struggle thru. Some ppl take it too hard and they just stay down forever. I attempted to stay down when i met with an obstacle that i felt i could no longer handle. Be it mentally, emotionally or even physically... i can no longer fight it. Like everyone else, i chose to run from it. In the midst of it all, i did all i can to forget, to erase the memory of it, as if the situation/problem would be erased as well. And one day, i succeeded. But....
Without the piece of memory, my life was empty. Gone were all the memories, all good and bad, lest they remind me of the pain. But gone were also my passion and purpose...
I tried to filled that emptiness that was left behind from removing the certain memory, and it created such a big space which was alot bigger than i had expected. Then not long after, i began to search for a resolution the life i can no longer tolerate. And i learnt that sometimes desperation can also give one the courage they need.
Finally, the quest to regain the lost memory began.
And i found it back, after some bumps and bruises. The moment the memories were awoken, the pain was excruciating. Everything flooded back like a tsunami that slap me in the face. Like a broken doll, l just lay there. All i could muster was a prayer, God heard me and took me into his arms... and nursed me back. Even now as i speak, i'm still not in tip top condition yet. But i have no fears, cos God is not done with me yet.
What i am trying to say was, despite all the trouble i went thru to forget and bury my hurts, they didnt disappear or recover. And when i had succeeded in forgetting, i embarked on the journey to recover the forgotten part. Once u are determine to recover the lost memories, u will find them and the pain will not lessen. This cycle caused me 2 yrs of my time. Although, i did not regret that i had wasted 2 yrs of my time, and i was more prepared to "dress the wound", i just like to say that not everyone has to learn the hard way that i did. Pls dun be like me... time is too precious to be wasted like tat...
Friday, January 06, 2006
1st Blog for the yr
Well, its the first blog of the year 2006, there is so much in my heart that i have no idea where to start.
The start of this blog shld have been some nice journals of pics that i took while i was in Hanoi, but i guess i am really not in the mood to do tat type of blog rite now...
Cos i started the very first few hrs of the new year pretty much in tears and my mood was as grey as the sky in Hanoi. i started to speak less to him, and somehow i find myself unable to look him in the eye. I did not ask him, cos i did not want an answer from him. I really am not interested at any answer or explanation at that pt of time. The brief statement with explanation that sparked off my uneasiness cos my heart to be more restless. I was really afraid, very afraid... and i am still afraid.
When i finally returned to SG, i told myself tat it all might had just been a tot too much on my end. It may very well be a misunderstanding all together on my part. I told myself that i believe in him, and i will. But the heaviness was getting unbearable. Finally i told everything to my Best Bud, and she reprimanded me. I shld have questioned him, i shld have demand and explanation, and most of all i shldnt be speculating on my own... cos it wont be fair to him. I only have one answer to all these shld have... i am afraid tat my worst fears might be the truth. And we jus sat together in silence.
***Lord Jesus, i am placing this matter in yr hands now. i dun wanna it back.
I dunno wat to expect, but i know that leaving it in yr hands is the best option i have.
Let your peace sooth the fear and tears in me,
let yr love jus flood over me that i will keep my tot and worries far from me over tis.
I dun wanna be bogged down by tis any more.
In your ways Lord, pls resolve it for me.
In the name of Jesus Christ, i ask and pray.
Amen. ***
The start of this blog shld have been some nice journals of pics that i took while i was in Hanoi, but i guess i am really not in the mood to do tat type of blog rite now...
Cos i started the very first few hrs of the new year pretty much in tears and my mood was as grey as the sky in Hanoi. i started to speak less to him, and somehow i find myself unable to look him in the eye. I did not ask him, cos i did not want an answer from him. I really am not interested at any answer or explanation at that pt of time. The brief statement with explanation that sparked off my uneasiness cos my heart to be more restless. I was really afraid, very afraid... and i am still afraid.
When i finally returned to SG, i told myself tat it all might had just been a tot too much on my end. It may very well be a misunderstanding all together on my part. I told myself that i believe in him, and i will. But the heaviness was getting unbearable. Finally i told everything to my Best Bud, and she reprimanded me. I shld have questioned him, i shld have demand and explanation, and most of all i shldnt be speculating on my own... cos it wont be fair to him. I only have one answer to all these shld have... i am afraid tat my worst fears might be the truth. And we jus sat together in silence.
***Lord Jesus, i am placing this matter in yr hands now. i dun wanna it back.
I dunno wat to expect, but i know that leaving it in yr hands is the best option i have.
Let your peace sooth the fear and tears in me,
let yr love jus flood over me that i will keep my tot and worries far from me over tis.
I dun wanna be bogged down by tis any more.
In your ways Lord, pls resolve it for me.
In the name of Jesus Christ, i ask and pray.
Amen. ***
Friday, December 30, 2005
Eve of Eve's
Today is the EVE's of 2006 New Year Day's EVE...
And i am not in the place where i fondly call home.
Instead, i am at a place where i once dreaded to be, on the very day i arrived on this distant land. Though i am accompanied by the head of the family, seems like i am bogging him down like a horse carrying cargo...
Think i will wanna be more adventurous and go out more, or jus find somewhere to sit down and start writing my blogs on ink and paper, so tat i can put it up when i get back home. Internet is really scarce here, good internet places i mean... places where i can stay the whole day without feeling queer or like an animal in the cage...
Well, think i better go now, the shop seems to be closing........
CIAOZ.....
And i am not in the place where i fondly call home.
Instead, i am at a place where i once dreaded to be, on the very day i arrived on this distant land. Though i am accompanied by the head of the family, seems like i am bogging him down like a horse carrying cargo...
Think i will wanna be more adventurous and go out more, or jus find somewhere to sit down and start writing my blogs on ink and paper, so tat i can put it up when i get back home. Internet is really scarce here, good internet places i mean... places where i can stay the whole day without feeling queer or like an animal in the cage...
Well, think i better go now, the shop seems to be closing........
CIAOZ.....
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
游戲機
隨著年齡的增長﹐人的慾望和需求也會不同。
但是﹐這一切的嚮往都是為了滿足自己內心的一個洞。。。
這洞感覺上好象是怎麼也填不滿的黑洞。
就像一台游戲機。。。
如果你投的是零錢而不是那商店規定的游戲硬幣﹐
再多的零錢你也是不可能開動它的。
又如果你投的游戲硬幣是對的﹐
那游戲機也只不過是被你啟動罷了。。。
過了一段時間後﹐它還是會關機。
唯有游戲機的主人才有能力讓游戲不停地延續﹐
應為只有主人才會知道游戲機需要的是什么﹐
也只有他才能夠滿足游戲機﹐
讓那游戲繼續下去。
游戲機只是一台機器﹐
即使它是多么多麼的精彩﹐
多麼多么的厲害﹐它還是一台機械﹐
它雖然可以設定一些電腦程序來應付某些問題﹐
但它的結構並不是為了自救而設計的。
它唯一能為自己做的是接不接受外來的硬幣, 外來的幫助。
但是﹐這一切的嚮往都是為了滿足自己內心的一個洞。。。
這洞感覺上好象是怎麼也填不滿的黑洞。
就像一台游戲機。。。
如果你投的是零錢而不是那商店規定的游戲硬幣﹐
再多的零錢你也是不可能開動它的。
又如果你投的游戲硬幣是對的﹐
那游戲機也只不過是被你啟動罷了。。。
過了一段時間後﹐它還是會關機。
唯有游戲機的主人才有能力讓游戲不停地延續﹐
應為只有主人才會知道游戲機需要的是什么﹐
也只有他才能夠滿足游戲機﹐
讓那游戲繼續下去。
游戲機只是一台機器﹐
即使它是多么多麼的精彩﹐
多麼多么的厲害﹐它還是一台機械﹐
它雖然可以設定一些電腦程序來應付某些問題﹐
但它的結構並不是為了自救而設計的。
它唯一能為自己做的是接不接受外來的硬幣, 外來的幫助。
Sunday, November 06, 2005
The days when u are not feeling well.......
Been sick for a couple of days, not only did i not turn up for work, i did not even step out of the hse to throw rubbish. You can imagine how bored i was at hm... = (
All was not lost, some interesting things still does happen every now and then, yes... even when u are not feeling that up and about in the clouds... Guess the best gesture anyone showed to me this week was my dad, seeing that i was bored for days, he asked me along to visit a family fren whom we had not seen in years. Since i was super bored, of cos i went along lah... Think my dad was really really nice to bring me out for a breather, though i end up watching TV at their hse instead of our own... but i do feel damn good abt it... hehehe
And the following day, which was yesterday, i had to go back to office to check on my stuffs before a major assignment is to be executed on monday. After a whole day at Jurong east, i finalyl tidied up and return to my weekend. Later in the nite, i was even more glad to have found ppl to go kopi with... and it turned out to be more than wat we had expected... hahahaha...
After going to Bliss, we decided to leave alit earlier than usual, cos it was quite noisy and a lit too cool for us. After loitering ard we finally ended up at some study corner like-place at a void deck,
taking out the deck of poker cards was the key to having a strange but damn funny encounter. I took out the cards which we bought the last time round, and usually we would be using it to play some silly games or some "current update status" thingie to amuses ourselves...
Then first came along a strange uncle with his family, comment ALOUD (so loud until i think ppl who were deaf could hear lor) the study ard so nice and seeing us with the cards, he immediately said "WOW not bad ah... CAN PLAY CARDS SOME MORE AH!" At that moment, i could slap him in the face, but then i fell to laffing non stop... cos i never seen a more mountain tortise UNCLE b4 man.... wow liew.... throw him out pls!!!
Oki... like tat nvm, cos after a while he FINALLY left... THANK GOD!!!!!!! But the fun does not end there, cos we only had abt 5-10 mins of rest before someone else came near and spoke to us... They wanted to borrow the poker cards from us, at first i was wondering wat the heck and was quite cautious cos suddenly the grp of the seems to surround us... and they were all wearing a uniform yellow tee... Then he finally make himself clear... he said... he said... said.... HE WANTED TO SHOW US SOME MAGIC TRICKS! Immediately, we burst out laughing....
WOW LIEW! how would u response??? Anyway we let him perform his tricks, and ended up they join us in for DaiDee... but after a while everyone was very bored watching the 4 of us play, we decided to get them to show another trick. Think we HA-LA with them quite abit to get rid of the awkwardness... But eventually they left us alone and then left the place soono after... The tricks that they performed were quite good, jus that perheps they chose the wrong audiences bah... i was like 10yrs older than one of the gals... which i believe there maybe more than 1...
Wish i could have written clearer and described better, damn funny nite....
All was not lost, some interesting things still does happen every now and then, yes... even when u are not feeling that up and about in the clouds... Guess the best gesture anyone showed to me this week was my dad, seeing that i was bored for days, he asked me along to visit a family fren whom we had not seen in years. Since i was super bored, of cos i went along lah... Think my dad was really really nice to bring me out for a breather, though i end up watching TV at their hse instead of our own... but i do feel damn good abt it... hehehe
And the following day, which was yesterday, i had to go back to office to check on my stuffs before a major assignment is to be executed on monday. After a whole day at Jurong east, i finalyl tidied up and return to my weekend. Later in the nite, i was even more glad to have found ppl to go kopi with... and it turned out to be more than wat we had expected... hahahaha...
After going to Bliss, we decided to leave alit earlier than usual, cos it was quite noisy and a lit too cool for us. After loitering ard we finally ended up at some study corner like-place at a void deck,
taking out the deck of poker cards was the key to having a strange but damn funny encounter. I took out the cards which we bought the last time round, and usually we would be using it to play some silly games or some "current update status" thingie to amuses ourselves...
Then first came along a strange uncle with his family, comment ALOUD (so loud until i think ppl who were deaf could hear lor) the study ard so nice and seeing us with the cards, he immediately said "WOW not bad ah... CAN PLAY CARDS SOME MORE AH!" At that moment, i could slap him in the face, but then i fell to laffing non stop... cos i never seen a more mountain tortise UNCLE b4 man.... wow liew.... throw him out pls!!!
Oki... like tat nvm, cos after a while he FINALLY left... THANK GOD!!!!!!! But the fun does not end there, cos we only had abt 5-10 mins of rest before someone else came near and spoke to us... They wanted to borrow the poker cards from us, at first i was wondering wat the heck and was quite cautious cos suddenly the grp of the seems to surround us... and they were all wearing a uniform yellow tee... Then he finally make himself clear... he said... he said... said.... HE WANTED TO SHOW US SOME MAGIC TRICKS! Immediately, we burst out laughing....
WOW LIEW! how would u response??? Anyway we let him perform his tricks, and ended up they join us in for DaiDee... but after a while everyone was very bored watching the 4 of us play, we decided to get them to show another trick. Think we HA-LA with them quite abit to get rid of the awkwardness... But eventually they left us alone and then left the place soono after... The tricks that they performed were quite good, jus that perheps they chose the wrong audiences bah... i was like 10yrs older than one of the gals... which i believe there maybe more than 1...
Wish i could have written clearer and described better, damn funny nite....
Saturday, November 05, 2005
That's What Friends Are For
Artist : Warwick Dionne
Assorted Songs without album
Song : That's What Friends Are For
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned,
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well you came in loving me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
Oh and then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Assorted Songs without album
Song : That's What Friends Are For
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned,
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well you came in loving me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
Oh and then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Friday, November 04, 2005
最想念的人
"knock knock" 啊 "knock knock" 。。。
你现在应该很好吧。。。
从我离开了那个地方，我们就没联络了。
也不知道为什麽没联络，
可能是我们俩都是喜欢碰面多过通电话的人吧。
我们在MSN或电话中都是沉默的，
见了面也不是有说不尽的话；
就是几乎每天都在一起,
很享受彼此的做伴。。。
三更半夜是我们吃宵夜的时间；
记得我们肚子饿的时候，
是你骑着脚车去买的。
我就在我家窗边等，
等你到了我才拿着叉子和纸巾下楼，
一起供用那香味十足的印度煎饼。。。
虽然过了那末久，
但我还记得以前的一切。。。
希望你没有忘记我。。。
希望你偶尔有想起我，
希望你偶尔有想念过我。
因为我真得很想你.
(I know u will never get to see this blog, but i still i chose to write in chinese. Precisely because i know yr chinese is alot worse than mine. In this way, you will nv noe wat i wrote even if u were to stumble in... ^_^)
你现在应该很好吧。。。
从我离开了那个地方，我们就没联络了。
也不知道为什麽没联络，
可能是我们俩都是喜欢碰面多过通电话的人吧。
我们在MSN或电话中都是沉默的，
见了面也不是有说不尽的话；
就是几乎每天都在一起,
很享受彼此的做伴。。。
三更半夜是我们吃宵夜的时间；
记得我们肚子饿的时候，
是你骑着脚车去买的。
我就在我家窗边等，
等你到了我才拿着叉子和纸巾下楼，
一起供用那香味十足的印度煎饼。。。
虽然过了那末久，
但我还记得以前的一切。。。
希望你没有忘记我。。。
希望你偶尔有想起我，
希望你偶尔有想念过我。
因为我真得很想你.
(I know u will never get to see this blog, but i still i chose to write in chinese. Precisely because i know yr chinese is alot worse than mine. In this way, you will nv noe wat i wrote even if u were to stumble in... ^_^)
奇怪不奇怪
[ “ 我以后不会再多说话了。。。 能有多沉默我就尽量沉默。。。“ ]
我不记得说这句的原因，只记得那时是我对莫事的绝望。
我仍记得他的无奈表情，和他低沉的声音说那番话。。。
那时我只感觉他只是要安慰我， 说了一惯的台词。。。
但不知道为什麽， 现在听了/想起了，会让我又惊讶又感动又安慰；
不知道为什麽，当时没听进他那番话
也不知道是不是我多心，现在的我回想时总觉得那番话好像另有含义？
。 。 。 。 。 。
真得很奇怪。。。
但更玄的是。。。
已经隔了那末久得一番话
为何我还记得那麽清楚？
。
。
。
是不知道，还是不想知道呢？
我不记得说这句的原因，只记得那时是我对莫事的绝望。
我仍记得他的无奈表情，和他低沉的声音说那番话。。。
那时我只感觉他只是要安慰我， 说了一惯的台词。。。
但不知道为什麽， 现在听了/想起了，会让我又惊讶又感动又安慰；
不知道为什麽，当时没听进他那番话
也不知道是不是我多心，现在的我回想时总觉得那番话好像另有含义？
。 。 。 。 。 。
真得很奇怪。。。
但更玄的是。。。
已经隔了那末久得一番话
为何我还记得那麽清楚？
。
。
。
是不知道，还是不想知道呢？
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