Today is the EVE's of 2006 New Year Day's EVE...
And i am not in the place where i fondly call home.
Instead, i am at a place where i once dreaded to be, on the very day i arrived on this distant land. Though i am accompanied by the head of the family, seems like i am bogging him down like a horse carrying cargo...
Think i will wanna be more adventurous and go out more, or jus find somewhere to sit down and start writing my blogs on ink and paper, so tat i can put it up when i get back home. Internet is really scarce here, good internet places i mean... places where i can stay the whole day without feeling queer or like an animal in the cage...
Well, think i better go now, the shop seems to be closing........
CIAOZ.....
Friday, December 30, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
游戲機
隨著年齡的增長﹐人的慾望和需求也會不同。
但是﹐這一切的嚮往都是為了滿足自己內心的一個洞。。。
這洞感覺上好象是怎麼也填不滿的黑洞。
就像一台游戲機。。。
如果你投的是零錢而不是那商店規定的游戲硬幣﹐
再多的零錢你也是不可能開動它的。
又如果你投的游戲硬幣是對的﹐
那游戲機也只不過是被你啟動罷了。。。
過了一段時間後﹐它還是會關機。
唯有游戲機的主人才有能力讓游戲不停地延續﹐
應為只有主人才會知道游戲機需要的是什么﹐
也只有他才能夠滿足游戲機﹐
讓那游戲繼續下去。
游戲機只是一台機器﹐
即使它是多么多麼的精彩﹐
多麼多么的厲害﹐它還是一台機械﹐
它雖然可以設定一些電腦程序來應付某些問題﹐
但它的結構並不是為了自救而設計的。
它唯一能為自己做的是接不接受外來的硬幣, 外來的幫助。
但是﹐這一切的嚮往都是為了滿足自己內心的一個洞。。。
這洞感覺上好象是怎麼也填不滿的黑洞。
就像一台游戲機。。。
如果你投的是零錢而不是那商店規定的游戲硬幣﹐
再多的零錢你也是不可能開動它的。
又如果你投的游戲硬幣是對的﹐
那游戲機也只不過是被你啟動罷了。。。
過了一段時間後﹐它還是會關機。
唯有游戲機的主人才有能力讓游戲不停地延續﹐
應為只有主人才會知道游戲機需要的是什么﹐
也只有他才能夠滿足游戲機﹐
讓那游戲繼續下去。
游戲機只是一台機器﹐
即使它是多么多麼的精彩﹐
多麼多么的厲害﹐它還是一台機械﹐
它雖然可以設定一些電腦程序來應付某些問題﹐
但它的結構並不是為了自救而設計的。
它唯一能為自己做的是接不接受外來的硬幣, 外來的幫助。
Sunday, November 06, 2005
The days when u are not feeling well.......
Been sick for a couple of days, not only did i not turn up for work, i did not even step out of the hse to throw rubbish. You can imagine how bored i was at hm... = (
All was not lost, some interesting things still does happen every now and then, yes... even when u are not feeling that up and about in the clouds... Guess the best gesture anyone showed to me this week was my dad, seeing that i was bored for days, he asked me along to visit a family fren whom we had not seen in years. Since i was super bored, of cos i went along lah... Think my dad was really really nice to bring me out for a breather, though i end up watching TV at their hse instead of our own... but i do feel damn good abt it... hehehe
And the following day, which was yesterday, i had to go back to office to check on my stuffs before a major assignment is to be executed on monday. After a whole day at Jurong east, i finalyl tidied up and return to my weekend. Later in the nite, i was even more glad to have found ppl to go kopi with... and it turned out to be more than wat we had expected... hahahaha...
After going to Bliss, we decided to leave alit earlier than usual, cos it was quite noisy and a lit too cool for us. After loitering ard we finally ended up at some study corner like-place at a void deck,
taking out the deck of poker cards was the key to having a strange but damn funny encounter. I took out the cards which we bought the last time round, and usually we would be using it to play some silly games or some "current update status" thingie to amuses ourselves...
Then first came along a strange uncle with his family, comment ALOUD (so loud until i think ppl who were deaf could hear lor) the study ard so nice and seeing us with the cards, he immediately said "WOW not bad ah... CAN PLAY CARDS SOME MORE AH!" At that moment, i could slap him in the face, but then i fell to laffing non stop... cos i never seen a more mountain tortise UNCLE b4 man.... wow liew.... throw him out pls!!!
Oki... like tat nvm, cos after a while he FINALLY left... THANK GOD!!!!!!! But the fun does not end there, cos we only had abt 5-10 mins of rest before someone else came near and spoke to us... They wanted to borrow the poker cards from us, at first i was wondering wat the heck and was quite cautious cos suddenly the grp of the seems to surround us... and they were all wearing a uniform yellow tee... Then he finally make himself clear... he said... he said... said.... HE WANTED TO SHOW US SOME MAGIC TRICKS! Immediately, we burst out laughing....
WOW LIEW! how would u response??? Anyway we let him perform his tricks, and ended up they join us in for DaiDee... but after a while everyone was very bored watching the 4 of us play, we decided to get them to show another trick. Think we HA-LA with them quite abit to get rid of the awkwardness... But eventually they left us alone and then left the place soono after... The tricks that they performed were quite good, jus that perheps they chose the wrong audiences bah... i was like 10yrs older than one of the gals... which i believe there maybe more than 1...
Wish i could have written clearer and described better, damn funny nite....
All was not lost, some interesting things still does happen every now and then, yes... even when u are not feeling that up and about in the clouds... Guess the best gesture anyone showed to me this week was my dad, seeing that i was bored for days, he asked me along to visit a family fren whom we had not seen in years. Since i was super bored, of cos i went along lah... Think my dad was really really nice to bring me out for a breather, though i end up watching TV at their hse instead of our own... but i do feel damn good abt it... hehehe
And the following day, which was yesterday, i had to go back to office to check on my stuffs before a major assignment is to be executed on monday. After a whole day at Jurong east, i finalyl tidied up and return to my weekend. Later in the nite, i was even more glad to have found ppl to go kopi with... and it turned out to be more than wat we had expected... hahahaha...
After going to Bliss, we decided to leave alit earlier than usual, cos it was quite noisy and a lit too cool for us. After loitering ard we finally ended up at some study corner like-place at a void deck,
taking out the deck of poker cards was the key to having a strange but damn funny encounter. I took out the cards which we bought the last time round, and usually we would be using it to play some silly games or some "current update status" thingie to amuses ourselves...
Then first came along a strange uncle with his family, comment ALOUD (so loud until i think ppl who were deaf could hear lor) the study ard so nice and seeing us with the cards, he immediately said "WOW not bad ah... CAN PLAY CARDS SOME MORE AH!" At that moment, i could slap him in the face, but then i fell to laffing non stop... cos i never seen a more mountain tortise UNCLE b4 man.... wow liew.... throw him out pls!!!
Oki... like tat nvm, cos after a while he FINALLY left... THANK GOD!!!!!!! But the fun does not end there, cos we only had abt 5-10 mins of rest before someone else came near and spoke to us... They wanted to borrow the poker cards from us, at first i was wondering wat the heck and was quite cautious cos suddenly the grp of the seems to surround us... and they were all wearing a uniform yellow tee... Then he finally make himself clear... he said... he said... said.... HE WANTED TO SHOW US SOME MAGIC TRICKS! Immediately, we burst out laughing....
WOW LIEW! how would u response??? Anyway we let him perform his tricks, and ended up they join us in for DaiDee... but after a while everyone was very bored watching the 4 of us play, we decided to get them to show another trick. Think we HA-LA with them quite abit to get rid of the awkwardness... But eventually they left us alone and then left the place soono after... The tricks that they performed were quite good, jus that perheps they chose the wrong audiences bah... i was like 10yrs older than one of the gals... which i believe there maybe more than 1...
Wish i could have written clearer and described better, damn funny nite....
Saturday, November 05, 2005
That's What Friends Are For
Artist : Warwick Dionne
Assorted Songs without album
Song : That's What Friends Are For
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned,
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well you came in loving me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
Oh and then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Assorted Songs without album
Song : That's What Friends Are For
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned,
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well you came in loving me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
Oh and then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Friday, November 04, 2005
最想念的人
"knock knock" 啊 "knock knock" 。。。
你现在应该很好吧。。。
从我离开了那个地方，我们就没联络了。
也不知道为什麽没联络，
可能是我们俩都是喜欢碰面多过通电话的人吧。
我们在MSN或电话中都是沉默的，
见了面也不是有说不尽的话；
就是几乎每天都在一起,
很享受彼此的做伴。。。
三更半夜是我们吃宵夜的时间；
记得我们肚子饿的时候，
是你骑着脚车去买的。
我就在我家窗边等，
等你到了我才拿着叉子和纸巾下楼，
一起供用那香味十足的印度煎饼。。。
虽然过了那末久，
但我还记得以前的一切。。。
希望你没有忘记我。。。
希望你偶尔有想起我，
希望你偶尔有想念过我。
因为我真得很想你.
(I know u will never get to see this blog, but i still i chose to write in chinese. Precisely because i know yr chinese is alot worse than mine. In this way, you will nv noe wat i wrote even if u were to stumble in... ^_^)
你现在应该很好吧。。。
从我离开了那个地方，我们就没联络了。
也不知道为什麽没联络，
可能是我们俩都是喜欢碰面多过通电话的人吧。
我们在MSN或电话中都是沉默的，
见了面也不是有说不尽的话；
就是几乎每天都在一起,
很享受彼此的做伴。。。
三更半夜是我们吃宵夜的时间；
记得我们肚子饿的时候，
是你骑着脚车去买的。
我就在我家窗边等，
等你到了我才拿着叉子和纸巾下楼，
一起供用那香味十足的印度煎饼。。。
虽然过了那末久，
但我还记得以前的一切。。。
希望你没有忘记我。。。
希望你偶尔有想起我，
希望你偶尔有想念过我。
因为我真得很想你.
(I know u will never get to see this blog, but i still i chose to write in chinese. Precisely because i know yr chinese is alot worse than mine. In this way, you will nv noe wat i wrote even if u were to stumble in... ^_^)
奇怪不奇怪
[ “ 我以后不会再多说话了。。。 能有多沉默我就尽量沉默。。。“ ]
我不记得说这句的原因，只记得那时是我对莫事的绝望。
我仍记得他的无奈表情，和他低沉的声音说那番话。。。
那时我只感觉他只是要安慰我， 说了一惯的台词。。。
但不知道为什麽， 现在听了/想起了，会让我又惊讶又感动又安慰；
不知道为什麽，当时没听进他那番话
也不知道是不是我多心，现在的我回想时总觉得那番话好像另有含义？
。 。 。 。 。 。
真得很奇怪。。。
但更玄的是。。。
已经隔了那末久得一番话
为何我还记得那麽清楚？
。
。
。
是不知道，还是不想知道呢？
我不记得说这句的原因，只记得那时是我对莫事的绝望。
我仍记得他的无奈表情，和他低沉的声音说那番话。。。
那时我只感觉他只是要安慰我， 说了一惯的台词。。。
但不知道为什麽， 现在听了/想起了，会让我又惊讶又感动又安慰；
不知道为什麽，当时没听进他那番话
也不知道是不是我多心，现在的我回想时总觉得那番话好像另有含义？
。 。 。 。 。 。
真得很奇怪。。。
但更玄的是。。。
已经隔了那末久得一番话
为何我还记得那麽清楚？
。
。
。
是不知道，还是不想知道呢？
Monday, October 31, 2005
Fav Hobby
As i was growing up, the adults around me always tell me to think before i act, lest i have to bear the consequences...... which mainly refers to the unpleasant ones. We are trained to avoid the things that we dun not wan or situations that we may render ourselves in. And now i realized that we should be thinking more of how we shld train ourselves to look at the targets we like to ACHIEVE, the things WE WANT! Rather than thinking we shouldnt do this and that because it i dun wanna to fail or get hurt, we should be thinking what is our goal, how to get there and how exactly should i start off...
(Good point! Gemini #2 you have spoken well, Gemini #1 will take note)
Writing this 1st paragraph really got me thinking... and i noticed another issue that i have been struggling and still is... A certain ex-colleague gave me his observation of me, before he left. He said i have a very special hobby, and this hobby is nothing good or bad, its just how u look at it and how u use it.
For ppl like me, who has very little concentration span, hobby is not a common word that is in my possession. And it stirred up alot of my tots... By now, you might already noticed what the "hobby" is... He said:" You seems to have alot on yr mind, so much that probably thinking has become yr hobby rather than jus a process that goes on in yr head." In these recent weeks, i been having overwhelming feedback regarding this hobby of mine. And all these reminded me of a story that has been going round for quite a long time......
------------------------------------------------------------
A grp of frens decided to take time off and enjoy their weekend at the beach. They got all excited and decided to jus packed and go. When they arrived at the beach, the sun was shining and the weather was good... The worries abt the beach being overcrowded were forgotten as soon as they reached there. Seeing the grps of ppl having fun completely took their focus off abt too many ppl and no space for them.
The grp of frens settled down and laid out their stuffs, its time for them to enjoy. Two of grp decided to go cycling, another one wanted to just lay in the sun and enjoy the warmth... The last of the 2 were quite undecided of what they wanted to do... One ask the other if she wanted to go to join in on cycling, but the other looked ard and replied that there were too many ppl and cycling wouldnt be much fun if they end up losing each other in the crowd. She counter-proposed on having a splashing good time in the water, but the fren worry abt the water being unclean and the sharp stones in the seabed that may cut their feet.
The discussion went on for sometime, then they finally decided to go for a walk ard. Then they realized that their suntanning fren had fallen asleep and feeling that it would be unsafe to leave the fren and their belongings unguarded, they decided to stay put and chit chat. The day went on and they all ended their beach day with a nice dinner.
------------------------------------------------------------
As usual, ppl reading this might not understand wat i am writing, but its not a prob......
Cause i noe wat i am writing... especially when i am writing to myself and not directing a mail to YOU or U or YOU... ^_^
Anyway, my conclusion is...
Thinking is a process that goes on in my mind for decision making and problem solving, or even forseeing of certain events / consequences... It is not a characteristic or a habit that i should or can get rid of, its a necesscity in not only my life, but to all. Though it may disable me in certain areas, but there are also alot of areas where it can enable me to do a better job, or make a decision.
The clarity i have now is that, i have to watch myself and be careful on overdoing in thinking... afterall too mcuh of everything is good. I should learn and keep checks on myself if i have think too much, or if i should jus take a chance and jump into something.
I used to think that calculated risk taking is the best option we can have, and to do that alot of thoughts has to be put into it... But now i find that if we take too long to calculate the risk, it will render the calculation to be ineffective. As time is not a constant element , all things changes as the next second / minute or even hour approaches. Maybe i should really watch the time i used to consider or decide on the things i need to do, i want to do and i choose to do......
(Good point! Gemini #2 you have spoken well, Gemini #1 will take note)
Writing this 1st paragraph really got me thinking... and i noticed another issue that i have been struggling and still is... A certain ex-colleague gave me his observation of me, before he left. He said i have a very special hobby, and this hobby is nothing good or bad, its just how u look at it and how u use it.
For ppl like me, who has very little concentration span, hobby is not a common word that is in my possession. And it stirred up alot of my tots... By now, you might already noticed what the "hobby" is... He said:" You seems to have alot on yr mind, so much that probably thinking has become yr hobby rather than jus a process that goes on in yr head." In these recent weeks, i been having overwhelming feedback regarding this hobby of mine. And all these reminded me of a story that has been going round for quite a long time......
------------------------------------------------------------
A grp of frens decided to take time off and enjoy their weekend at the beach. They got all excited and decided to jus packed and go. When they arrived at the beach, the sun was shining and the weather was good... The worries abt the beach being overcrowded were forgotten as soon as they reached there. Seeing the grps of ppl having fun completely took their focus off abt too many ppl and no space for them.
The grp of frens settled down and laid out their stuffs, its time for them to enjoy. Two of grp decided to go cycling, another one wanted to just lay in the sun and enjoy the warmth... The last of the 2 were quite undecided of what they wanted to do... One ask the other if she wanted to go to join in on cycling, but the other looked ard and replied that there were too many ppl and cycling wouldnt be much fun if they end up losing each other in the crowd. She counter-proposed on having a splashing good time in the water, but the fren worry abt the water being unclean and the sharp stones in the seabed that may cut their feet.
The discussion went on for sometime, then they finally decided to go for a walk ard. Then they realized that their suntanning fren had fallen asleep and feeling that it would be unsafe to leave the fren and their belongings unguarded, they decided to stay put and chit chat. The day went on and they all ended their beach day with a nice dinner.
------------------------------------------------------------
As usual, ppl reading this might not understand wat i am writing, but its not a prob......
Cause i noe wat i am writing... especially when i am writing to myself and not directing a mail to YOU or U or YOU... ^_^
Anyway, my conclusion is...
Thinking is a process that goes on in my mind for decision making and problem solving, or even forseeing of certain events / consequences... It is not a characteristic or a habit that i should or can get rid of, its a necesscity in not only my life, but to all. Though it may disable me in certain areas, but there are also alot of areas where it can enable me to do a better job, or make a decision.
The clarity i have now is that, i have to watch myself and be careful on overdoing in thinking... afterall too mcuh of everything is good. I should learn and keep checks on myself if i have think too much, or if i should jus take a chance and jump into something.
I used to think that calculated risk taking is the best option we can have, and to do that alot of thoughts has to be put into it... But now i find that if we take too long to calculate the risk, it will render the calculation to be ineffective. As time is not a constant element , all things changes as the next second / minute or even hour approaches. Maybe i should really watch the time i used to consider or decide on the things i need to do, i want to do and i choose to do......
Thursday, October 20, 2005
2005-10 KL weekend getaway! (Part 02)
SHOPPING STARTO!
Shopping centre at the lower levels of the KL's Twin Tower. (We like to call it KL's Paragon, all the branded stuffs...)
Look wat we found!!!YUMMY DRAUGHT ROOTBEER FLOAT AND WAFFLES WITH ICE CREAM!!!!
A Nice view @ 10am from the Twin Tower's bridge...The lift went at one floor per second speed to get us up the 41st level, where the bridge links the two towers.
------ Paused for shopping break! ----- SHOP SHOP SHOP ------
(Hmm... abit too ex for our budget shopping... )
(Time to change shopping centre!)
(We hasten our footsteps and rushed to the 2nd largest shopping centre in KL)
Finally, its lunch at 2.30pm...Good spread of vietnamese lunch,
they tasted REALLY GOOD!
To my greatest horror, everyone bought something and by lunch everyone was showing off their spoils... ALAS! I'm empty handed!!! Filling my tummy at lunch made me felt alot better and HO HO HO ...... (Bought a Tee, a jacket, some sweets... just before we head for KL's LARGEST shopping centre!)
------ Next stop: BIGGEST shopping centre in KL! -----
This is one horrible shopping centre... SO BIG! They have 3 sections to the building and its all 10 storey tall!!! This is one shopping centre that i waved my white flag! boo hooo........ too big liao lah!!! Feet pain pain!!!With the tummies protesting, we were promised a GREAT dinner of ZI CHAR by our "tour guide"...... DINNER!!!! YUM YUM YUM!!!
Verdict of the trip:
For the next day's shopping the Shopping King emerged, Mr MxxxCxxx claimed the throne without feeling any tireness from shopping and expressed his wishes to shop more as his shopping passion has yet to be satisfied... (But the rest of us already wave white flags... and could walk no more... Esp... Miss Fruity and i escape to foot reflexo... only she had the massage, cos my sprained ankle hasnt seems to heal.)
2005-10 KL weekend getaway! (Part 01)
A trip of walking, eating, sleeping and eating and shopping and eating and more shopping....
It felt like a prep trip for an all HongKong experience...
But we were only going to KL for 2 days... diaoz.....
TIGER TEH ICE! Gives you energy to go back hotel to wash up and start the day of shopping and eating and...... walk walk walk walk walk......
It felt like a prep trip for an all HongKong experience...
But we were only going to KL for 2 days... diaoz.....
1st MEAL of the GETAWAY - DINNER AT JB's small alley
Then following is our breakfast at an unknown small stall in a street behind our hotel. It was 5+ am in the morning... And the sky was still DARK!
Qn: "Uncle.... You all open 24hrs wan ah....?"
Ans: "No lar... We all 23hrs wan... See the signboard!"
TIGER TEH ICE! Gives you energy to go back hotel to wash up and start the day of shopping and eating and...... walk walk walk walk walk......Sunday, September 25, 2005
ALIVE 2005
Till now i'm still unsure of wat ALIVE 2005 is, but i do know its a volunteer program support for the GraceHaven Home for the year 2005. I have no idea what the home does exactly than it shelters children from a certain background. Then u might ask why i wanna to join in anyway, after all the above statement did sound like a 100% non-sincere participation. The greatest reason of all is that i have always like to be with kids, jus that i dun trust myself with that must responsibilities. But i truly did enjoy being able to participate in yesterday's DAY CAMP thoroughly.
Its really been a long time since i been surrounded with so many young kids ranging from pre teen to teenages... They seemed intimidating when they arrived and i was really nervous when i saw that the only language they speak were hokkien with lotsa "#$%#^#". Anyway to cut the long story short, a bond was form within our grp... the smiles on their faces were the best thing i saw in a long time. As i recount the day's event, i saw myself in a way which i had no seen for years... in other words, i found the me that i lost along the way to now.
i have no words to describe how i lost it, or found it and even how i feel abt it. I'm jus pleasantly surprised that it came back subtlely thru the event.
SideNotes:
I was told by the committee that the kids were afraid of me, after the first 2 games we hosted, and they were glad that they all listened to me during the time we executed the games. hehehe they are a grp of kids where violence is their main expression of their feeling (mainly anger) and they did enjoyed and keep the rules of the games were truly a great gratification to me.
Its really been a long time since i been surrounded with so many young kids ranging from pre teen to teenages... They seemed intimidating when they arrived and i was really nervous when i saw that the only language they speak were hokkien with lotsa "#$%#^#". Anyway to cut the long story short, a bond was form within our grp... the smiles on their faces were the best thing i saw in a long time. As i recount the day's event, i saw myself in a way which i had no seen for years... in other words, i found the me that i lost along the way to now.
i have no words to describe how i lost it, or found it and even how i feel abt it. I'm jus pleasantly surprised that it came back subtlely thru the event.
SideNotes:
I was told by the committee that the kids were afraid of me, after the first 2 games we hosted, and they were glad that they all listened to me during the time we executed the games. hehehe they are a grp of kids where violence is their main expression of their feeling (mainly anger) and they did enjoyed and keep the rules of the games were truly a great gratification to me.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Living in my own little world
Sometimes its really sad when u realized that you have grown up (and for ppl like me... i grew out and away from my childhood). I just got back from attending a relative's wedding dinner, he is my distant cousin whom we love to be around... He was like a big brother taking care of us, playing with us. i still rem that there were 5 of us, excluding the elder brother who always seems to be taking advantage of us in the past... hee... There was his distant relative and him, then me and his younger brother and finally my sis.
But today at his wedding dinner, we all have become so distant to each other. I think we all barely spoke more than 1 min to one another bah. Of course, my sis and myself had lots to talk abt but to him or the younger brother or to his distant relative, all seems to have been forgotten.
I have to admit that i have barely been concern with the things happening ard me, be it in my company or my relatives, even my own father... i would be ignorant or the last to know. Its kinda sad when i had to mentioned my father in this, cos i wouldnt know when he will be back in SG or when will he be flying off to somewhere else... the best part is... i dun even noe where is he sometimes... sad rite?
Guess i have been too selfish, i really didnt wanna know things that i shouldnt know or things tat do not concern me... just as i am afraid of being restricted, i would not want to interfer is other ppl's affairs, but it has turned out to be bo chup-ness...
It's so scary to be unfeeling to one's own family.
But today at his wedding dinner, we all have become so distant to each other. I think we all barely spoke more than 1 min to one another bah. Of course, my sis and myself had lots to talk abt but to him or the younger brother or to his distant relative, all seems to have been forgotten.
I have to admit that i have barely been concern with the things happening ard me, be it in my company or my relatives, even my own father... i would be ignorant or the last to know. Its kinda sad when i had to mentioned my father in this, cos i wouldnt know when he will be back in SG or when will he be flying off to somewhere else... the best part is... i dun even noe where is he sometimes... sad rite?
Guess i have been too selfish, i really didnt wanna know things that i shouldnt know or things tat do not concern me... just as i am afraid of being restricted, i would not want to interfer is other ppl's affairs, but it has turned out to be bo chup-ness...
It's so scary to be unfeeling to one's own family.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
The new tenant in my room - JJ
Yesterday, my hse accepted a tenant name JJ... This little tenant is only a temp passerby, but the HUHA it caused was not small. He's petite, he's cute and he is a very well behaved little fellow. The only imperfection is that he cant talk... sigh... he looks at me with such innocent eyes and i looked at him with my puzzled face... How i wish i know wat he wants, but then again, it would be absoutely scary if he opens his mouth and talk... i think i would freak out.
He is such an adorable little fellow, he stays by my side the moment i reach hm. He is such a loveable fellow that he gained instant acceptance with my family, everyone in the family entertains him alright!
*Yawn*
Think i'm tired, shld march rite straight to me bed, this time i think i will not let him sleep with me, lest it gets crowded. He shall have the floor.... Nitez....
Ps. Did i mentioned that he's a pup that my fren asked me to dogsit for a few days? *GRIN*
He is such an adorable little fellow, he stays by my side the moment i reach hm. He is such a loveable fellow that he gained instant acceptance with my family, everyone in the family entertains him alright!
*Yawn*
Think i'm tired, shld march rite straight to me bed, this time i think i will not let him sleep with me, lest it gets crowded. He shall have the floor.... Nitez....
Ps. Did i mentioned that he's a pup that my fren asked me to dogsit for a few days? *GRIN*
Friday, August 26, 2005
Exciting New LIFE
Gosh, i guess i'm really very excited...
See this :
------------------------------------------
Romans 8:1-3 (New King James Version)
Romans 8
Free from Indwelling Sin
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
------------------------------------------
See this :
------------------------------------------
Romans 8:1-3 (New King James Version)
Romans 8
Free from Indwelling Sin
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
------------------------------------------
I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of the LIVING GOD. He who is perfect died in my place, so that i may have life and life to the fullest. On the cross at Calvary, he exhausted the God's wrath once and for all. That i may be a NEW CREATION in CHRIST! That i am no longer under the law of sin and death, but under the law of truth and grace!
And God says that :
- NOW, there is no condemnation!!! No MORE... NOW NO MORE!!!
- I AM FREE!!! FREE from the law of sin and death, and unto the law of truth and grace!
=========================
2 Corinthians 5:16-18 (New King James Version)
16 Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer.
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
=========================
New Creation = Believer in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Old things = Death + Sorrow + Crying + Pain
Passed away = NO MORE, D&G (DEAD & GONE)
All things have become new = Become new things...
New things = LIFE + JOY + LAUGHTER + PLEASURE
-----------------------------------
If you have never heard of the GOOD NEWS yet, i pray you do soon... That you may experience HIS wonderful LOVE, GRACE aka DIVINE FAVOUR, MERCIES and most of all... The promise of HIM never leaving nor forsaking us!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
clueless...
I think I have a stomach full of woes, but thats only my point of view. I promised myself to resolve this knot by myself, and not play victim in the whole situation. My aim to resolve it and not play victim so tat ppl will stand on my side... I have jus one obstacle, and that is confrontation... tricky huh... *scratch head* How on earth am I suppose to resolve without facing the issue face to face?
Answer: Key word is RESOLVE here... so... face it!
Interestingly, my verse for today is Gal 5:14
(The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor, as yourself.")
Now, how am I going to apply that? I know there is some connections but I am really still quite clueless rite now. To cut the long story short, I told the person tat I am sorry and asked wat I can do to make up for the distressed I have caused.
Someone said something tat made me think, she told to me ask my fren why... and I replied with prior experiences that, asking why would be courting for trouble... But it made me think why my internal mechanism was to apologize first. And now I know... I apologized for the distress tat the person is feeling, usually when it happens, I think I would be the obvious cause of the distress rite?
But as i'm blogging this, I think my fren would be also think why am I apologizing when I have no idea wats going on... meaning = i'm patronizing... Great~ now things seems worse.
*June looks to the cross...... "ABBA, zen mo ban ?"*
Answer: Key word is RESOLVE here... so... face it!
Interestingly, my verse for today is Gal 5:14
(The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor, as yourself.")
Now, how am I going to apply that? I know there is some connections but I am really still quite clueless rite now. To cut the long story short, I told the person tat I am sorry and asked wat I can do to make up for the distressed I have caused.
Someone said something tat made me think, she told to me ask my fren why... and I replied with prior experiences that, asking why would be courting for trouble... But it made me think why my internal mechanism was to apologize first. And now I know... I apologized for the distress tat the person is feeling, usually when it happens, I think I would be the obvious cause of the distress rite?
But as i'm blogging this, I think my fren would be also think why am I apologizing when I have no idea wats going on... meaning = i'm patronizing... Great~ now things seems worse.
*June looks to the cross...... "ABBA, zen mo ban ?"*
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Maybe...
It been some time since i got back, the impact or the experience i had during that one mth now seems to vague; compared to the day that i had returned and today, i can feel myself conforming back to where i had left off before i set off for my one mth assignment. Though i am convinced that i had not experienced any drastic changes, nor feel any strong change in directions, i cant help but to ack that something is taking place inside of me. And now, all that may jus have been a 5 min enthusiasms thingie. And i am all the more sadden and disappointed if it really was jus the passion of the moment, becos i did see some good from it.
Think the same happened for me in the case of the AsiaWorks Basics Workshop; tot that i am able to join in and give my 100% participation, but i didnt. Tot that i had jus made my way thru to the workshop with my usual tactics of giving them the results and response that they are looking for and i am done... done with the workshop, cos by doing that i have benefited nothing... numero zero. But then maybe not, seems like wat i had learnt in there seems to be coming back to my consciousness. Maybe it wasnt tat bad after all, maybe i wasnt tat hopeless after all...
Maybe i really do noe wat i want now, but maybe i dun...
Maybe i did think too far ahead and get myself tangled into the web of confusion, but maybe i din?
Maybe i din wanna do it, but maybe i am just too afraid to try...
Maybe its not becos that i may not be able to win, maybe its jus becos i'm afraid i may lose...
Maybe i'm not cut out to be a leader, maybe i'm jus a follower.
Maybe i dun belong to a grp or
any grp, maybe i'm jus better off as a loner.
Maybe there is jus too many maybes...
Maybe? Maybe......
Think the same happened for me in the case of the AsiaWorks Basics Workshop; tot that i am able to join in and give my 100% participation, but i didnt. Tot that i had jus made my way thru to the workshop with my usual tactics of giving them the results and response that they are looking for and i am done... done with the workshop, cos by doing that i have benefited nothing... numero zero. But then maybe not, seems like wat i had learnt in there seems to be coming back to my consciousness. Maybe it wasnt tat bad after all, maybe i wasnt tat hopeless after all...
* * *
Maybe i really do noe wat i want now, but maybe i dun...
Maybe i did think too far ahead and get myself tangled into the web of confusion, but maybe i din?
Maybe i din wanna do it, but maybe i am just too afraid to try...
Maybe its not becos that i may not be able to win, maybe its jus becos i'm afraid i may lose...
Maybe i'm not cut out to be a leader, maybe i'm jus a follower.
Maybe i dun belong to a grp or
any grp, maybe i'm jus better off as a loner.
Maybe there is jus too many maybes...
Maybe? Maybe......
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Korean dramas
- News Flash! -
TV drama have been known to draw a family together in the comforts of their living quarters, the latest of the trend has been known as the attack of the Koreans...
Though I had promised myself to have more time to rest, living one day at a time. But I haven't really been able to fully submerge myself into 8 hrs of sleep everyday. However, it was this late nite habit of mine that Korean drama has invaded my home. Recently, I had been out and abt till late nites, even beyond the midnite hours. My mobile began to vibrate with a msg flashing across its screen, there was an incoming call from "Home Sweet Home"... Hee... me dad called and spoken in a thundering voice, wanting me to go home soon and hung up on me.
Figuring that I already incurred the wrath of my dad, I decided not to return home immediately... its always a better to be in a weather in cool than in heat. So I went on to have supper with my fren, b4 she kept saying that my tiredness has been written all over my face.
Finally, I dragged myself home... upon approaching my home door, the lights of the living room were still brightly lit... I was stunned and very apologetic thinking that my dad had waited up for me to come home, and its already 2 - 3am.
But when I opened the door, I saw my family all sited in front of the tele watching a Korean drama, which was highly recommended by almost everyone ard. Then I realized, my family din wait up for me... they waited up for the Korean drama.... staying up and watching tv is not amazing, but seeing my dad watching Korean tv drama serial... NOW THAT'S NEW!!! And the best part was, he was watching it quietly without comments or sarcastic remarks! Amazing.....
And now, in order to reconnect with my family, I think I will get myself involved in some Korean drama watching marathon... so... here I go.... tata.......
*GRIN*
TV drama have been known to draw a family together in the comforts of their living quarters, the latest of the trend has been known as the attack of the Koreans...
Though I had promised myself to have more time to rest, living one day at a time. But I haven't really been able to fully submerge myself into 8 hrs of sleep everyday. However, it was this late nite habit of mine that Korean drama has invaded my home. Recently, I had been out and abt till late nites, even beyond the midnite hours. My mobile began to vibrate with a msg flashing across its screen, there was an incoming call from "Home Sweet Home"... Hee... me dad called and spoken in a thundering voice, wanting me to go home soon and hung up on me.
Figuring that I already incurred the wrath of my dad, I decided not to return home immediately... its always a better to be in a weather in cool than in heat. So I went on to have supper with my fren, b4 she kept saying that my tiredness has been written all over my face.
Finally, I dragged myself home... upon approaching my home door, the lights of the living room were still brightly lit... I was stunned and very apologetic thinking that my dad had waited up for me to come home, and its already 2 - 3am.
But when I opened the door, I saw my family all sited in front of the tele watching a Korean drama, which was highly recommended by almost everyone ard. Then I realized, my family din wait up for me... they waited up for the Korean drama.... staying up and watching tv is not amazing, but seeing my dad watching Korean tv drama serial... NOW THAT'S NEW!!! And the best part was, he was watching it quietly without comments or sarcastic remarks! Amazing.....
And now, in order to reconnect with my family, I think I will get myself involved in some Korean drama watching marathon... so... here I go.... tata.......
*GRIN*
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Ship AHOY!
Each time i board the ship to work, i would suddenly remind how this job is not my cuppa tea. I will rem that this is one job i know i definitely i wont wanna to do, at least not for long term. And today's work has reconfirm this tot once again, just that it came on stronger than before. The aching body, the cut on the wrist that is abt 1.5 cm away from my green vein on my wrist, and the bruised arm... not forgetting the steaming hot air in the head and the sunburn on the arms (again).
But then again, i tell myself not to be rash... cos i still like most of the work i do and i do get to see alot of things that ppl normally dun get to. Maybe i jus dun like this particular project, but then this project will be my main source of bread, cos its completion date is suppose to be in 2008, seems like the schedule is slipping fast... so maybe later than 2008. So you see... how?!
I really not a big fan of climbing high high on a ship that is still under construction and standing on the staging that seems to be moving all the time. And and and and... no one seems to abide by the rules of keeping to the number of ppl on per platform lor... i will scare wan lor... the platform cannot take so many ppl wan lor... They dunno wat is safety wan meh!
GRR.....
okok... think i got my answer... think i am jus upset at this particular project...
THE END.
But then again, i tell myself not to be rash... cos i still like most of the work i do and i do get to see alot of things that ppl normally dun get to. Maybe i jus dun like this particular project, but then this project will be my main source of bread, cos its completion date is suppose to be in 2008, seems like the schedule is slipping fast... so maybe later than 2008. So you see... how?!
I really not a big fan of climbing high high on a ship that is still under construction and standing on the staging that seems to be moving all the time. And and and and... no one seems to abide by the rules of keeping to the number of ppl on per platform lor... i will scare wan lor... the platform cannot take so many ppl wan lor... They dunno wat is safety wan meh!
GRR.....
okok... think i got my answer... think i am jus upset at this particular project...
THE END.
不一樣的禮拜三
不一樣的禮拜三有多不一樣？
本來是一個重要的一天，
可是現在不重要了。。。
本來還有小計劃一下，
有小緊張一下，
有小期望一下，
有小準備一下，
有小想了一下，
但現在什麽也不要了。。。
為什麽啊？
原本很在意的原因是自己好久沒有對任何人有好感，
“有好感”， 翻譯成我的語言就是說自己終于肯給自己一個機會了。
給別人機會往往都很容易，比起給自己機會容易多了。。。
因爲如果是自己的話，我總是選擇絕望。
上次我說過我討厭放棄，
討厭那無能爲力的感覺，
並答應自己決不能放棄。。。
所以我就選擇處絕望罷了。
現在想通了，也厭倦了絕望
也漸漸開始開竅了。。。
所以
現在不想了， 什麽也不想了
因爲已不覺得重要了。。。
我並不需要用這種方法來證明什麽，
只要自己確定了真的放開了手就足夠了，
確定自己相信我和別人沒有不一樣，別人有的，我也可以擁有。。。
甚至擁有更多更好。。。
尤其是心靈和感情那一方面就足夠了。
所以不普通的禮拜三已經變普通了，
不一樣的已經是沒有什麽不一樣了。
^_^
（好像寫得有點不太對，但不管了。。。只要我懂就行了
頭腦快不行了，也沒什麽體力了。。。錯就錯吧。。。
到底去不去呢。。。就看我累不累，看我推不推得掉吧。）
本來是一個重要的一天，
可是現在不重要了。。。
本來還有小計劃一下，
有小緊張一下，
有小期望一下，
有小準備一下，
有小想了一下，
但現在什麽也不要了。。。
為什麽啊？
原本很在意的原因是自己好久沒有對任何人有好感，
“有好感”， 翻譯成我的語言就是說自己終于肯給自己一個機會了。
給別人機會往往都很容易，比起給自己機會容易多了。。。
因爲如果是自己的話，我總是選擇絕望。
上次我說過我討厭放棄，
討厭那無能爲力的感覺，
並答應自己決不能放棄。。。
所以我就選擇處絕望罷了。
現在想通了，也厭倦了絕望
也漸漸開始開竅了。。。
所以
現在不想了， 什麽也不想了
因爲已不覺得重要了。。。
我並不需要用這種方法來證明什麽，
只要自己確定了真的放開了手就足夠了，
確定自己相信我和別人沒有不一樣，別人有的，我也可以擁有。。。
甚至擁有更多更好。。。
尤其是心靈和感情那一方面就足夠了。
所以不普通的禮拜三已經變普通了，
不一樣的已經是沒有什麽不一樣了。
^_^
（好像寫得有點不太對，但不管了。。。只要我懂就行了
頭腦快不行了，也沒什麽體力了。。。錯就錯吧。。。
到底去不去呢。。。就看我累不累，看我推不推得掉吧。）
Chinese...draining me dry!
ARGH!!!
its really taking alot of me to do those two chinese blog...
now i'm completely drain...
Blogging in Chinese is hazardous..... BEWARE!
its really taking alot of me to do those two chinese blog...
now i'm completely drain...
Blogging in Chinese is hazardous..... BEWARE!
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