GO???

its been pretty long time since i last attended church,
and the fact is i din wan to...
Not too sure why,
but in my heart i realli dun wanna go
and now since so long no go,
lagi dun wanna go...

Would i go to church if i were back in sg,
i dunno either,
but i do noe that the chances are much higher.
But thats only my guess...

Whats the diff here???

Distance?
I can drive there in half hr,
dun think distance is an issue...

Discomfort?
Ppl there are v nice and very friendly,
loved their warmth in the past... next...

Displacement...
Think i never regard this place as my church,
and i do feel lost.
People are humming and buzzing ard,
and i am often at a lost wat to do.
The sight of difference in language already switched on my bias mode,
i give up before even trying to speak or understand them.

When will i ever learn that worship and service to GOD can be applied any House of the Lord?
I dun get it...
not contributing to this place and just keep going back to satisfy my own need for God,
seems so... selfish...
wat difference is it from me going to a shopping centre just to get my shopping done?
Or is this just another excuse for not wanting to go?