** COKE

Enough horsing ard with the facebook apps, i shld be getting straight to biz and do up the tasks at hand. But i think i shld let off some steam before the pressure eats me alive. There are many wonderful things to blog abt;

- The time in Hanoi, a different feeling/mood.

- The unexpected surprise Nanning gave me.

- The importance of  moving on constantly, and improving/developing myself.

- Freedom is something everyone wants, and all are looking to escape from their unsatisfied life/lifestyle… and that includes my parents…

Then there is the unexpected twist in Lian and Ting’s situations, not to mention Fang’s possibility in changing the heading of her course… which so far is the best news :)

But the thing that drove me to Mac for a upsized coke and wireless SG to blog is none other than my head almost turning into a pressure cooker that is cooking my brains and eating me alive.

I rem once upon a time my addiction to CocaCola drove my family nuts, and family frens were rallied into tell me their life stories on coke addiction. Maybe it was that time, my reliance on cocaine developed bah… ok lah… now i only taking small dosage of it in panadol extra :X  just kidding… hee…

After resigning, i am subjected to stay home and not run anywhere rule, by order of Mrs Lim. Then i have to subject my time and schedule, my plans to Mr Lim… who doesnt seems to have a clue what he wants me to do… He gave 2 tasks, but with incomplete information to properly execute anything. No problem, we handled such situation everyday in the last 9 yrs. I took it in my stride and did whatever i could, pacifying and fighting fire as we go along.

But what he did last night really upset me, i dun mind if you have no plans for me. I was the one who resigned, so if u think this is a mess, then i will settle this mess myself. I am not waiting for handouts of tasks to do to survive.

I told my fren i made a choice, and i intend to keep it. Since i will not go US/Aussie/anywhere, unless i have your blessings. But at least let me do what i want to do in Sg. I can plan for myself. Yes, i may be confused and lost right now, but i believe after sorting out i will figure something out

Someone asked me why do i have to be right all the time, do the right thing, make the right choice, why this mentality? Becoz my own family dun tolerate failure or mistakes, for every mistake or wrong or failure it will be stuck to me forever and my family will bite on it never letting it. Now i dun want to let go of my past failures, is they keep reminding me.

Home is suppose to be a place of rest and comfort, but blk 133 is more of a pressure chamber to me right now.

 

I need another coke.

Not doing anything vs initiative vs rash

Someone once praised me for having initiative and even said that i will amount to some great thing, he was dead sure.

Now i am not that sure any more. I cant put my finger one me being initiative or being rash. Somehow i began to feel that i am either on the not doing anything part of the scale or the other extreme end of rash… Many talked abt mine impatience, rather than initiative. When i took my time to consider, they said that i am not doing anything, and even deem that i am lost.

In the midst of making decisions, i rarely care what ppl say, but it was the aftermath comments that really get to me. Its fine if ppl dun see the way i see, or agree with my ways. I dun need to you to understand me, but i really dun need your accusations.

In our final episode of “ The Land of Thousand Scams ”

Today is the 8th July 2009, weather in Bangkok has been unpredictable with showers of rain getting heavier towards the end of our 4Ds 3Ns Bangkok escapade; where it also marked the end of an expensive educational experience. Shall i share my experience?

Lesson 1: Greed is dangerous.

Lesson 2: Learn to live by the peace that in within myself.

Lesson 3: Getting upset and worrying does not help.

Lesson 4: Ask for help, do not hesitate.

Lesson 5: Everyone rest on public holidays, including the Thai Police.

Lesson 6: Need to have a bigger heart to live in the world today.

Lesson 7: There are good and not so good ppl everywhere, Thailand is not the only place with scams.

Lesson 8: Once the heading is determined, be firm.

Lesson 9: Respect myself. Cannot everything also never mind; have to be accountable to ppl, also must accountable to myself… cannot ignore myself all the time… no wonder i am always upset with myself…

Lesson 10: Citibank in different countries are like different banks in different countries. International bank? BLEAH!

Lesson 11: Cash deposit Machines in Citibank Bangkok cannot read Citibank Cards issued by Citibank Singapore. Even manual deposit is complicated; Needs a receipt to show where the money for deposit comes from/payslip, Need exact address of Bank and branch in singapore with SWIFT code, etc….

PUBLIC HOLIDAY AGAIN?!!!

Touched down on sunday morning and all the cab drivers and tuk tuks have been telling me that this whole week is holiday, and my first tot was : “WTF… everyday is holiday in BKK ah!”

After failing to make contact with the government offices and embassy yesterday, it was my plan to march down to their office tis morning. However, i was prompted to continue to call this morning again, before i raze their grounds. Still, no one is answering calls… Sigh… thai side not responding to phone call is not that surprising, but Sg Embassy?!! Sigh… Sg Embassy has nv sat well with me, they nv ever offer real help to the Sg citizens since my first overseas trips…

Anyway, before is set off, i was prompted to ask the reception abt depositing money to CitiBank. I was surprised to find out that i can only bank in Baht cash at the 1 and only Citibank office in Bangkok. Then they told me that today is a special day, and becos of this special day, its public holiday since Monday all the way to Wednesday… Many offices are closed till Thursday morning. Only some banks will be resuming operations on Wednesday morning. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oki… that explains the DIT office and Sg Embassy not responding… but still… argh… So, Plan B was to make a police report after lunch and get the scammers to come down the police station to settle the issue… it seems to be a safer option than going down the scamming territory… And so the journey began…

It took me 30mins to try locate a nearest bank for me to do money order to Sg, so i wun have to worry carrying much cash with me. Then only to realize no banks are doing money orders unless its their HQ,… no choice, i decided to just go to the police and bank in the money on wed morning @ the Citibank HQ. Thai ppl are very nice, but all the direction giving were nt exactly accurate and i ended up walking round and round for an hour before locating the bloody police station.

Stepping in, the thai police was extremely not good in english and keep taking my map and looking at dunno wat… unable to communicate, he brought me to a nearby counter where more ppl were… a few ppl went in and another few man came out… finally they managed a few words of english… and those were this :" Public holiday, closed… thursday open… come back on thurs…”

WTF #!$#%^&*^%$#@$%^&*(&^ The Royal Thai Police HQ is closed, the Tourist Police is closed, ALL CLOSED TODAY! What in the world is this?!! Police is close on public holiday?!! POLICE IS A BUSINESS OPERATION AH!!!! CLOSE ON PUBLIC HOLIDAY?!! WOW LAU EH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGRY LEH!!!!! WHERE GOT LIKE TAT DE!!!!!!

I have decided now, tmw i will take a cab down to the scamming shop, with my mum in cab, waiting outside… i will go in myself to get the bloody money back! WTF… police is another business trade here in bangkok, indeed this is the land of scams… i’m sorry… shld be LAND OF SCAMMERS!!! cos police is their support division!

But really thank God that he prompted me to keep making calls and put off going down the office personally; The DIT office is far and secluded, and it might be a problem trying to get back to hotel or civilization. Thank God that i no make waste trips to the Embassy, cos the area might just as well be a dead town when the banks and commercial area are closed.

Toda Raba Yahwah… Toda!

Almost wanna give up

I think i almost wanna let it go, but coming tis far to Bangkok and leaving empty handed was definitely something i cant account to myself… In feeling bad, i decided to do a more thorough research…

Seems like no choice have to go a few places, and it doesn't necessarily include going down to the remote DIT office, which is out of my Bangkok map… I am skeptical abt the Sg Embassy, but better than not trying…

Plan for 07 07 09:

1. Make report to Tourist Police, need document for Citibank for waive-ing of interest for the gem payments.
2. Singapore Embassy (Not sure go which one first though… maybe before go TA is a better idea?) Dunno tell them wat also… sigh…
3. If TA doesn't help us to contact Erawan Lapidary, or even to DIT… Depending on the time,if 3pm then i going to block hired a cab, so that he will wait for me outside, then after to Citibank to bank in the payment.
4. Go meet my dear mum for dinner.

i really wonder how smoothly all these will go… my heart is pounding by the second… even at this very moment…

GAMBATE!!!!!!!!

Project RunAway @ 30a

Hahaha... think the number 30 is really bothering me, bothering me to make a change from a life which makes me think of a 100 reasons to stay alive from the moment i wake up each day...

A life of uncertainty is also not easy... worries and fears are flooding me as if its a Noah ark's remake! Now, that i had taken the first step, i think i might as well let it loose… Let’s see where it leads me…

Stopover 01 - Bangkok

Ok, i think i rest my case... i'll stop calling Thailand the land of scams and scums, its not the entire country's fault that i am this predicament... Like my fren said, greed for easy money was our downfall...

So now, here i am in Citin Pratunam Hotel... on my bed... with my new lappy... no imaginations please... its just a all white scenery... NICE RITE! Alamak... i said scenery not in sanitarium lah...

Here's the big plan:

1. Call DIT see how they can help us and then see if need to go log report to tourist (dun think need bah).
2. Go breakfast with my mum, she deserves to be treated like a queen... maybe her majesty would like some dim sum ? hmm... i'll zzz on it
3. Escort her to Platinum Mall, and give her the hotel name card. Oh yeah, must make sure she bring her phone manz... before i leave for DIT, shld DIT is willing to help me out...
4. Go DIT. Log report. Meet Erawan Lapidary rep. GET BACK $.
5. Meet mummy for dinner.
6. Bring her go wash hair or see movie.
7. Back to hotel and rest.
8. Enjoy the 7th and 8th July 09.

Dear all u ppl who are reading, do pray for us...

1. For favor that DIT will want to help me, and grants me assistance without having to make another appointment on another time or another month etc.
2. May God come forth and get back the full 100% amount for me. (To be 100% frank, if its me alone to go get back $... i also worry i not able to get back any $ at all... sigh)
3. Protection and safety throughout the whole Bangkok trip and Vietnam trip, and all our travellings.
4. My mum's health... the travelling taking a toil on her, cos of not enuff zzz and her own medical conditions.
5. Pray that we will not meet any more scams, or lose anything or forget anything, nothing will be stolen or rob from us etc... completed divine protection from Yahwah.
6. Pray for me, for shalom and no scare. Perfect love cast out all fears! Amen?!! *deep breathe* i dun wanna drama or ugly situation 2 get back $... its no good for our soul and minds.
7. Pray for my mum to experience only happy and no sad or angry for this thai-viet trip.

* Abba,
all this i rest in yr hands...
May you bless and keep us,
in wholeness and safety,
from worry and fear,
from harm and deceit,
from sickness and diseases;
May yr grace and miracles follow us thru.
In Yahwah's name... Amen.

KEO GAMBATE DEUS !!!

Dearest fren,

Think going to miss you quite abit... and mostly likely will be stalking yr blog and yr facebook to see how you are doing... i look forward to praying for the both of us each day; rem the crossing over of 2007 and 2008? We both felt that things will be different, and look at us now... We've spent the last 2 crossing over together, not sure we'll have the chance to do so for the 3rd consecutive... but i am sure we will see other soon enough :)

Jia you and enjoy oki... u still complain to me via skype and webcam-ing... hee.... and i would still be yr no.1 audience and fan... :)

P.s U're more cool than S.H.E k.... : X hehehe

Durians

BURP~~~!!! ok… i really do feel like like i am pregnant with 4 whole durians in my tummy, with the husk and everything… Have to thank Mr Wu for the sumptuous buffet @ Cafe Vic, where durian is found in food that had never crossed my mind. Trust me, ever tried the DDF? Durian Duck Fusion … this is the best polite name i can come up with lah… Imagine as you bite into a Peking Duck Wrap that has creme of durian instead of the usual sweet sauce… SEE! FUSION LOR!

I have to say 1st prize goes to the Durian Crème Brulee Well, i love Crème Brulee  and i do like durian, and the union if perfect!!! 2nd prize goes to the shrimp wanton with thai sweet chilli sauce… it reminded me of the one i had in Hoi An – which was unforgettable! (Maybe its time to plan to go Hoi An again… CHEAP BEER AND YUM FOOD! hehehe)

Tummy check… Yup… still bloated!!!! Maybe i will stay away from durians for a while… hehehehe….

How changes come about?

I saw an interesting quote on the TV mobile, while on a bus heading home… It said :“ You move one when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired…” I cant say BRAVO for sure, but it did stick a pin to my ribs…

When you are young, the whole lot of ideals that you carry on your back din seem to have any weight… In fact, it was the more the merrier… all in waiting for age to come so that things can start happening. Then as you grew older, you realised that its no just age that has to be right, the greens in your pockets are the things that counts… those were the elements required before any action begins.

In the name of focus, all steams ahead to work for the light at the end of the tunnel… days passed, weeks passed, months passed, finally… years passed… Till one day, i wonder about my life’s purpose and why am i working like that? What did i want? I cant remember at all?!!

Now, as i sit down and take a moment… pause for a while… i realised that all these were not necessary… a chase after the wind… ME DUMB DUMB… Yes… DUMB DUMB IS ME!

Know what? I think i am sick and tired of the unknown, i am sick and tired of waiting for the time to come, for things to happen. I am sick and tired of being afraid of going too fast and end up on wrong directions. I am sick and tired of being afraid of snakes, sick and tired of a “steroids addict” personality…

I want to go back to where i was once fearless, to just take what i want and be what i want… to reply questions with “That’s God’s job not mine…”

I dunno when i pawned my courage and faith for fear and worries, i dunno how passion and focus was drowned by distractions and scepticism… but i want to redeemed them. Today, i think i saw the pawn shop closed, with a sign hanged on its gates. It said “ Pawn Shop closed. All items already redeemed by Jesus.”  :)