Have always been listening to english oldies, since young... cos my parents like. And gradually, i became quite fascinated with them. Here is one song i love to play just before i sleep...
FLY ME TO THE MOON
----------------------------
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Looking back at 2005
Actually i did learn and found out abt alot of things in the past year that had jus gone by... Maybe i will just break it into a few posts to relieve you from a lengthy essay.
I'm not sure if i had ever posted anything of similar content, but i do feel very strongly abt wat i am going to share. It was a tedious journey, and a mentally & emotionally drawing experience. Experiencing a down time in life may be more than just a simple obstacle that one can struggle thru. Some ppl take it too hard and they just stay down forever. I attempted to stay down when i met with an obstacle that i felt i could no longer handle. Be it mentally, emotionally or even physically... i can no longer fight it. Like everyone else, i chose to run from it. In the midst of it all, i did all i can to forget, to erase the memory of it, as if the situation/problem would be erased as well. And one day, i succeeded. But....
Without the piece of memory, my life was empty. Gone were all the memories, all good and bad, lest they remind me of the pain. But gone were also my passion and purpose...
I tried to filled that emptiness that was left behind from removing the certain memory, and it created such a big space which was alot bigger than i had expected. Then not long after, i began to search for a resolution the life i can no longer tolerate. And i learnt that sometimes desperation can also give one the courage they need.
Finally, the quest to regain the lost memory began.
And i found it back, after some bumps and bruises. The moment the memories were awoken, the pain was excruciating. Everything flooded back like a tsunami that slap me in the face. Like a broken doll, l just lay there. All i could muster was a prayer, God heard me and took me into his arms... and nursed me back. Even now as i speak, i'm still not in tip top condition yet. But i have no fears, cos God is not done with me yet.
What i am trying to say was, despite all the trouble i went thru to forget and bury my hurts, they didnt disappear or recover. And when i had succeeded in forgetting, i embarked on the journey to recover the forgotten part. Once u are determine to recover the lost memories, u will find them and the pain will not lessen. This cycle caused me 2 yrs of my time. Although, i did not regret that i had wasted 2 yrs of my time, and i was more prepared to "dress the wound", i just like to say that not everyone has to learn the hard way that i did. Pls dun be like me... time is too precious to be wasted like tat...
I'm not sure if i had ever posted anything of similar content, but i do feel very strongly abt wat i am going to share. It was a tedious journey, and a mentally & emotionally drawing experience. Experiencing a down time in life may be more than just a simple obstacle that one can struggle thru. Some ppl take it too hard and they just stay down forever. I attempted to stay down when i met with an obstacle that i felt i could no longer handle. Be it mentally, emotionally or even physically... i can no longer fight it. Like everyone else, i chose to run from it. In the midst of it all, i did all i can to forget, to erase the memory of it, as if the situation/problem would be erased as well. And one day, i succeeded. But....
Without the piece of memory, my life was empty. Gone were all the memories, all good and bad, lest they remind me of the pain. But gone were also my passion and purpose...
I tried to filled that emptiness that was left behind from removing the certain memory, and it created such a big space which was alot bigger than i had expected. Then not long after, i began to search for a resolution the life i can no longer tolerate. And i learnt that sometimes desperation can also give one the courage they need.
Finally, the quest to regain the lost memory began.
And i found it back, after some bumps and bruises. The moment the memories were awoken, the pain was excruciating. Everything flooded back like a tsunami that slap me in the face. Like a broken doll, l just lay there. All i could muster was a prayer, God heard me and took me into his arms... and nursed me back. Even now as i speak, i'm still not in tip top condition yet. But i have no fears, cos God is not done with me yet.
What i am trying to say was, despite all the trouble i went thru to forget and bury my hurts, they didnt disappear or recover. And when i had succeeded in forgetting, i embarked on the journey to recover the forgotten part. Once u are determine to recover the lost memories, u will find them and the pain will not lessen. This cycle caused me 2 yrs of my time. Although, i did not regret that i had wasted 2 yrs of my time, and i was more prepared to "dress the wound", i just like to say that not everyone has to learn the hard way that i did. Pls dun be like me... time is too precious to be wasted like tat...
Friday, January 06, 2006
1st Blog for the yr
Well, its the first blog of the year 2006, there is so much in my heart that i have no idea where to start.
The start of this blog shld have been some nice journals of pics that i took while i was in Hanoi, but i guess i am really not in the mood to do tat type of blog rite now...
Cos i started the very first few hrs of the new year pretty much in tears and my mood was as grey as the sky in Hanoi. i started to speak less to him, and somehow i find myself unable to look him in the eye. I did not ask him, cos i did not want an answer from him. I really am not interested at any answer or explanation at that pt of time. The brief statement with explanation that sparked off my uneasiness cos my heart to be more restless. I was really afraid, very afraid... and i am still afraid.
When i finally returned to SG, i told myself tat it all might had just been a tot too much on my end. It may very well be a misunderstanding all together on my part. I told myself that i believe in him, and i will. But the heaviness was getting unbearable. Finally i told everything to my Best Bud, and she reprimanded me. I shld have questioned him, i shld have demand and explanation, and most of all i shldnt be speculating on my own... cos it wont be fair to him. I only have one answer to all these shld have... i am afraid tat my worst fears might be the truth. And we jus sat together in silence.
***Lord Jesus, i am placing this matter in yr hands now. i dun wanna it back.
I dunno wat to expect, but i know that leaving it in yr hands is the best option i have.
Let your peace sooth the fear and tears in me,
let yr love jus flood over me that i will keep my tot and worries far from me over tis.
I dun wanna be bogged down by tis any more.
In your ways Lord, pls resolve it for me.
In the name of Jesus Christ, i ask and pray.
Amen. ***
The start of this blog shld have been some nice journals of pics that i took while i was in Hanoi, but i guess i am really not in the mood to do tat type of blog rite now...
Cos i started the very first few hrs of the new year pretty much in tears and my mood was as grey as the sky in Hanoi. i started to speak less to him, and somehow i find myself unable to look him in the eye. I did not ask him, cos i did not want an answer from him. I really am not interested at any answer or explanation at that pt of time. The brief statement with explanation that sparked off my uneasiness cos my heart to be more restless. I was really afraid, very afraid... and i am still afraid.
When i finally returned to SG, i told myself tat it all might had just been a tot too much on my end. It may very well be a misunderstanding all together on my part. I told myself that i believe in him, and i will. But the heaviness was getting unbearable. Finally i told everything to my Best Bud, and she reprimanded me. I shld have questioned him, i shld have demand and explanation, and most of all i shldnt be speculating on my own... cos it wont be fair to him. I only have one answer to all these shld have... i am afraid tat my worst fears might be the truth. And we jus sat together in silence.
***Lord Jesus, i am placing this matter in yr hands now. i dun wanna it back.
I dunno wat to expect, but i know that leaving it in yr hands is the best option i have.
Let your peace sooth the fear and tears in me,
let yr love jus flood over me that i will keep my tot and worries far from me over tis.
I dun wanna be bogged down by tis any more.
In your ways Lord, pls resolve it for me.
In the name of Jesus Christ, i ask and pray.
Amen. ***
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)