Actually i did learn and found out abt alot of things in the past year that had jus gone by... Maybe i will just break it into a few posts to relieve you from a lengthy essay.
I'm not sure if i had ever posted anything of similar content, but i do feel very strongly abt wat i am going to share. It was a tedious journey, and a mentally & emotionally drawing experience. Experiencing a down time in life may be more than just a simple obstacle that one can struggle thru. Some ppl take it too hard and they just stay down forever. I attempted to stay down when i met with an obstacle that i felt i could no longer handle. Be it mentally, emotionally or even physically... i can no longer fight it. Like everyone else, i chose to run from it. In the midst of it all, i did all i can to forget, to erase the memory of it, as if the situation/problem would be erased as well. And one day, i succeeded. But....
Without the piece of memory, my life was empty. Gone were all the memories, all good and bad, lest they remind me of the pain. But gone were also my passion and purpose...
I tried to filled that emptiness that was left behind from removing the certain memory, and it created such a big space which was alot bigger than i had expected. Then not long after, i began to search for a resolution the life i can no longer tolerate. And i learnt that sometimes desperation can also give one the courage they need.
Finally, the quest to regain the lost memory began.
And i found it back, after some bumps and bruises. The moment the memories were awoken, the pain was excruciating. Everything flooded back like a tsunami that slap me in the face. Like a broken doll, l just lay there. All i could muster was a prayer, God heard me and took me into his arms... and nursed me back. Even now as i speak, i'm still not in tip top condition yet. But i have no fears, cos God is not done with me yet.
What i am trying to say was, despite all the trouble i went thru to forget and bury my hurts, they didnt disappear or recover. And when i had succeeded in forgetting, i embarked on the journey to recover the forgotten part. Once u are determine to recover the lost memories, u will find them and the pain will not lessen. This cycle caused me 2 yrs of my time. Although, i did not regret that i had wasted 2 yrs of my time, and i was more prepared to "dress the wound", i just like to say that not everyone has to learn the hard way that i did. Pls dun be like me... time is too precious to be wasted like tat...
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