Consequences of a lousy day

Now that i'm feeling betta from the discomforts of the body,
i cant help but sit down and sigh...

How did i get to this?!!

I am really upset at this whole mess,
and i do more or less feel a tint of regret at my impulse to send out the email,
that was burning with volcano temperature.
And i also know i cant retract nor make any apologies for tat email,
cos it would only make them feel dignified abt doing the same thing to me again.

The whole thing sucked,
i been enduring the whole bloody situation for a whole damn year,
and seeing the end to this attachment nearing,
why cant i hold down myself and
keep the last ounce of professionalism;
writing a civilized email instead of the content which i sent out stating how upset i am and how they are demeaning me...

What a big joke huh...
maybe there is no professionalism in me...
Maybe yet again its all my fault...
I'm just incompetent, incapable, not reliable and not trustworthy;
And all that i do is for good of me and only me...

Ya, maybe tats it...

I am sick of all these...
To think all these things get to me,
and stand between the work i like and the once upon time ppl i liked...
Yar.. i forgot, it was once upon a time,
cos they all resigned.

I told myself time and time again,
since i am so unhappy i can leave when the bond finishes,
jus simply do my own thing, dun need to be so committed...
No one bothers anyway...

Maybe the education i rxed was too good...
they manged to drum into me that while i am still in the company,
i shld still do my best and all i can to fulfill every duty and requirement that is expected to me...
I must be dreaming that i can just smoke everyone out in this last 14 mths of bond,
and just wash hands and leave.

This realli sucked...

Not to mentioned the amt of apologies i made on their behalf...
and all the "entertainment" i will be doing to rectify the crack with the other party
maybe i shld tell them how much trouble they cause to the other party,
lest the they think i am jus making trouble?

Nah... wats the point... u think they believe???

I AM SICK OF APOLOGIZING FOR MISTAKE OF OTHERS,
AND YET THEY FELT POINT AT ME SAYING ITS MY FAULT!
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