It was an unexpected “appraisal” day, I dunno what she told her, but it came up as I needed help and direction. I admit that I had used the words loosely to allow her to feel she is not alone, but it did make me go “ARGH”. I can feel her frustration when she kept emphasizing on me not having a goal.
The truth is, it is true that I love to look to her for an annual appraisal for practical career progression. It is true that I thought she would be able to help me. But I guess I have decided to take after God. From the day I went crazy looking for a purpose in life, I broken down when I am not able to identify a goal for myself… aimless being drifting in the world is a sentence worse than death.
It was God, It was Jesus, who came to me and tell me its alright, who told me that my life is not a bounced cheque waiting to be cashed, but rather a cheque in writing. And I am the one who is to fill up the cheque, I am the one who says where the cheque is used for and how much worth is this cheque going to draw! I guess I am spoiled with such love that I can do anything I want and make anything happen in Christ.
Able to live a life that has been planned out, sit back relax and wait for doors to be open by God is amazing. I also thought I will turn into a disgusting lazy worm, but it came out differently… In fact, I am all the more eager to do things once the task is given.
Things happened because of planning, but for me things just work out; simply because God did the planning and my role is to just rest and follow.
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