Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Vulnerability

They said I am a typical fit to the descriptions of the horoscopes, be it the astrology Gemini, or the Chinese zodiac Goat, or even Bazi – Eight Characters analysis… I am one who is often said to be an advocate, mediator, and even a strong hard piece of metal shield. I am independent, strong and hardly gets down by anything. I thank God that all those are true, but its true only becos God was the one who enabled me to be. I always believe that God is the one who gives us the desires in ourselves, gives us the passion and the ability to satisfy that same desire.

As hard as the metal can be, it can only protect things that are of physical impact; but it is powerless to the forces that cannot be seen by the human eye. Love is vulnerability, and the only weakest link of the chain. Like I have often said, to love someone is to hand yourself naked self over to the other party; it’s like surrendering to him/her/them your bare heart allowing them to treat it in any manner they like. And in this world, there is no one who has my heart like my family does. But we have a problem, or at least I have a problem… and this problem is like a thorn in the flesh where the wound has been inflamed. Each time an incident comes up, the wound would hurt like hell. I really hope that this thorn be removed and that the wound will heal as if it has never been in place before.

This is my family, people whom I can never stop loving, even if I am bleeding, or crippled or paralyzed. Of course I can choose to leave and be riddance of it, but I prefer not to… I choose not to… If I decide to be here with them, then my mind, my heart, my thoughts and my body have to be here with them. Regardless in any circumstance or any issues.

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