Friend

People walk in and out of our lives, some stayed longer than other, and some left before you even know it. Some left good impressions or memories, while some left us not good experiences. Since TH and JB, KL left me an equally deep impression. He was someone that I was quite fond of getting close to when I was in my teens. He was spontaneous and very sporting. But since classes stopped, we didn’t have much of a chance to get together. Shortly after, he went abroad for further studies.

Then a few years later, a reunion was called for and the same old group appeared. We were the most sporting in the past and the attendance for the gathering proved it once again. The gathering brought us more chances of interaction privately after that night, and I slowly begin to recall that I did have a good impression of him after all in our younger days. And it seems like he hasn’t change much, still a very nice guy who is not able to carry a conversation well, and always smiling away.

The reunion gathering brought a lot of topics for discussions and chats and one particular incident left me smiling from ear to ear. That night, four of us were the last to leave the place and one of the two guys who drove offered to give all of us a lift. My gal friend was reluctant, gave in when the two guys persisted. And of course I went along. I was the first to alight and as I was reminding my other gal friend to call me when she reach home, KL got off the car and without me noticing and insisted on escorting me to my door step. It really felt queered, but then I guess probably he ad just returned from Aussie and he is just doing what he thinks a guy should do no matter who the gal is. I din really read too much into it and just went along.

But on the following week, I met up with my gal friend and were talking about the gathering we had. Then she started asking me if KL had sent me all the way to my doorstep that very night; following which is a complaint that he had not even offered to send her to the lift. I was pleasantly surprised. Then I tried to explain to her the list of possibilities :

1. I had the most drinks during the gathering, and he probably think it would be good to make sure I am home even I dun look drunk. After all he has no idea how well I can hold or cannot hold the liquor.
2. We might had a conversation that has not ended, dun ask me what cos you guys know I just rattle on. If I forgot something, that’s it… it probably wont come back to memory. After all, its just small talks / chats.
3. He probably thought that it would be fair for each guy to escort one gal, but sadly the Mr. Driver was too dull to understand that.

My friend gave me a queer look but accept the list anyway.

Well, here comes the highlight… We were constantly chatting online after that reunion gathering, and met up on a few occasions as we lived quite near to each other. On one night where we went out for drinks, we were chatting about our past relationships and ourselves. It might have been the drinks, but I blurt out that with my family holding me as their mental and emotional support I too need one. And I have no idea how long more I can hold out. Then he made me an offer that I can never forget. “I want to be your support…… can I?.” At the moment I was very touched but was even more shocked, and I can only reply him with two words – “Thank you”.

I appreciate him and his offer, I was genuinely touched. But I know I will never lean on him, simply because I have never allowed myself to rely on anyone. Not in the past, not now and most probably not in the future. It was really a coincidence that workload got heavier and we hadn’t met up after that. But we do still keep in touch via the Internet , we still do occasional chats thru msn. Recently, he initiated a chat, asking how I was doing and everything. But the conversation was really short, neither he nor I know what we can talk about and it ended silently. Maybe it has been too long since we last met, there isn’t much we can really chat about. It could also have been me feeling awkward since that last meet up we had. But I really have no idea.